Today: The MTA Let’s One Rip…

in the war against terror.

NYDNsc

You can read this tome in its entirety here. Otherwise, I for one can only hope the Nassau Avenue stop of the G will be part of this “test”. Whatever in the way of “crotchpot cooking” from this station, by virtue of a LACK of circulation, could be very instructive. Tongue firmly in cheek:

By virtue of their neglect one could argue the MTA has a solution right under their own nose— so to speak. When a ridership becomes acclimatized to a subway platform smelling funny (READ: BAD)  it does not exactly make them conducive to reporting odd odors.

Think about it.

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Special Pre-July 4th Edition

grahamave

From Graham Avenue.

Greenpoint WiFi Network Du Jour: Special Waiting For The Bus Edition

July 3, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

quiveringbutthole

 

I happened upon this curiosity while waiting— and waiting— for the B43 Bus at Nassau Avenue. After coming to the realization that the schedule posted is either a work of fiction or a VERY general guideline I decided to while away the time by checking my email. I found it rather apropos given the rather malodorous “perfume” which emanated with every passing Crosstown Local train beneath my feet. In any case folks: the neighborhood, it be a changin’.

Greenpoint, where affluence and effluence go hand-in-hand.*

*Props go out to my buddy Larry for this piquant observation.

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: McGolrick Park

cordoned off

Today I decided to avail myself of the sunshine and go for a walk. On a lark I opted to swing by McGolrick and see how things are shaking. As you can see we have a problem.

welded

We all know manhole plundering is an problem here. But this one is epic in both scope and chutzpah. As it was explained to me by a very sweet, dedicated and frustrated Parks Department employee, the reason for the barricade is one of our more resourceful— and I’d presume STRONG— citizens saw fit to divest this man hole of its cover (so as to sell for scrap at our manifold number of scrap metal establishments). This is why the powers that be have seen fit to weld its replacement in situ.

seatlessbenches

As for these benches: I was told local youths have made divesting them of wooden planks is a chronic problem.

Is any of this new fellow Greenpointers? No, it is not. What makes it “news” is the fact this behavior— if merely by benign neglect—  is apparently still allowed to persist.

The Word On The Street: From NYC With Love

Williamsburg Bridge

WBbridge

Crosby Street

crosbystreet

1st Avenue & 6th Street

1staveand6st

Crosstown Local, Nassau Avenue

shouldhave

Rivington Street

rivingtonstreet

Taken June 5, 2013.

Credits/Props: Go out to Goggla for the heads-up/locale of the pay phone. Thanks!

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool, Part IV: Nepotism

[The] Danger is [Nepotism.] Fear [a Sequel.] (Nassau Ave; Church bound G)

By Jilly Ballistic.

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Urban Gravestone

January 26, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

RIP

From Nassau Avenue.

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Putting The “Ass” Back In Nassau Avenue

IassU

Taken January 19, 2013.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Special Delivery

January 19, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Artifact 

donationsNYS

detail

A Diamond Street resident we’ll call “R” writes of the above-depicted find:

Someone donated 2 butt plugs* and a vibrator to our corner clothing drop. Coincidence or not a new mattress encased in plastic was lying out too. Not bedbug wrapped. New. Gotta love the hipster influx.

The above-depicted material (the Jujubes add a rather festive flourish of which I am particularly fond) strikes yours truly as the stuff of a very enchanted evening. As is often the case with this kind of thing, I am reminded of a quote— actually an essay— by Mark Twain. Follows is an excerpt from Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism*:

…Homer, in the second book of the Iliad says with fine enthusiasm, “Give me masturbation or give me death.” Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, “To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion.” In another place this experienced observer has said, “There are times when I prefer it to sodomy.”

Robinson Crusoe says, “I cannot describe what I owe to this gentle art.” Queen Elizabeth said, “It is the bulwark of virginity.” Cetewayo, the Zulu hero, remarked, “A jerk in the hand is worth two in the bush.” The immortal Franklin has said, “Masturbation is the best policy.”

*If my memory serves me correctly (and for those of you who wish not to have a “pre-owned” model) these (as well as the above-depicted “Rabbit Pearl” vibrator can be purchased at Honey on North 6 Street Although I was regrettably unable to ascertain the name for the above-depicted items (when it comes to research I endeavor to be thorough!) via a web search. However, I did stumble upon this. It gives a whole new meaning to “Incoming!”, “Blow it out your ass!” and last, but hardly least:

Fire in the hole!

**Which is for sale on Amazon!

New York Shitty Pay Phone Du Jour: Nassau Avenue

December 4, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Crosstown Local, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Taken December 3, 2012.

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