From The New York Shitty Inbox: Because 24 Hours Notice Is Apparently Enough*

May 17, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

This item was received by yours truly from a member of Community Board 1 at 1:11 p.m. It was received by him/her, in turn, at 12:30 p.m. Tomorrow, May 18th at 6:30 p.m. the folks at Open Space Alliance will be having a community meeting regarding its waterfront concerts. Stay informed– attend the meeting!

O.S.A./Community Meeting On Concerts
May 18, 2011 starting at 6:30 p.m.
Swinging 60’s Center
211 Ainslie Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211

UPDATE, 2:36 p.m.: I have received an email from one of the co-chairs of OSA’s Community Committee. It casts this flier in a rather curious light:

As the Outgoing Co-Chair of the OSA’s Community Committee, I want to provide an important correction to the flyer.  Tomorrow’s meeting is a  previously scheduled quarterly meeting of OSA’s Community Committee.     What happens at at these meetings?  We receive updates on various parks projects and bring to attention to volunteer activities.

Not sure who the creator of the flyer is but if people are interested in the Community Committee or learning more about being involved in the park, please email me at 

I would recommend people looking for a meeting about the Concerts, should direct those inquiries directly to OSA staff  and board.  The Community Committee are just a bunch of volunteers try to improve our parks.

You can view the agenda for this meeting (which seems to have nothing whatsoever to do with concerts) by clicking here.

Miss Heather

*It isn’t.

Live From Community Board 1: OSA Presents

It was a relatively tame evening last night despite a full house. I made the acquaintance of a New York Times reporter present. He asked me:

Is the turn-out usually like this?

To wit I replied:

No.

He then asked:

How many people are usually here?

Me:

Maybe half or one third.

When asked why the turn-out was so large. I told him:

They’re angry.

It has been my observation that citizens do not go to Community Board 1 meetings to give thanks and spread sunshine. Rather, they come to make their presence known because they’re pissed off. This is the north Brooklyn way. In any case, tonight’s spokesperson on the behalf of OSA (Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn) was Adam Perlmutter. This chap is the Secretary for said org and one of the founders of OSA Presents LLC (their concert arm). He spent the evening spreading sunshine— including to yours truly! Without further ado, here he is.

And by all appearances this seems to have mollified the concerned citizens present. Somewhat. Mr. Ricco makes it quite clear he will be keeping an eye on them (do give this a view).

And in a hardly dramatic conclusion the Board takes their recommendations to a vote.

So there have you.

New York Shitty Analysis/Op-Ed/Food For Thought:

  • I found it rather interesting that the one show excised (so as to provide more “family-oriented” entertainment and reduce possibly problematic concert events) was the “Latino” concert. While I am certain concerns about revenue were at play, the fact of the matter is north Brooklyn has a rather large Hispanic population. I am certain they would very much enjoy a concert event with their families. By removing this event from the roster OSA has made a value judgment, gentle readers. I’ll leave it to you deduce what it is.
  • I also found it interesting that Mr. Perlmutter (albeit obliquely— and not by name) called out Jelly NYC as a “concert promoter we did not want to work with” and then proceeded to excoriate them for not operating events in a professional matter. This does not dove-tail with how he felt about this same business in 2009. This makes one wonder why he has had an about-face?
  • I for one am very excited at the prospect of viewing a line item account of OSA’s  expenses and expenditures if for no other reason I want to see exactly how much money (if any) has been allocated for improvements and maintenance of Greenpoint’s parks because I have seen any difference whatsoever.
  • Lastly, so the concerns about quality of life issues arising from the concerts at East River State Park have been allayed— or at least tabled. What about the same issues posed by OSA’s events at other open spaces? In other words: What about the rest of us?

Nonetheless this is a a small— but significant— step forward. Those of you who want a full rundown of last night’s (mind-boggling long) proceedings can get a very nice summary over at A Short Story. Check it out!

Miss Heather

REMINDER: Parks & Waterfront Committee Meeting Tonight!

Although I have posted this item already I feel compelled to remind everyone that this evening the Parks & Waterfront Committee will be convening at Williamsburg’s very own Swinging 60’s Center! The primary topic of this forum will be two presentations regarding the concerts scheduled to grace north Brooklyn’s parks this upcoming summer. On that note— and despite the fact I have listed several questions worth asking already— I feel behooved to posit yet one more:

Is it appropriate for a Community Board member— and a member of the Parks Committee at that (this being Dewey Thompson)— to give a presentation on the behalf of a not-for-profit organization (that being Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn) which is shilling concerts?

This strikes yours truly as a pretty serious conflict of interest. Just a thought.

Parks & Waterfront Committee Meeting
May 3, 2011 starting at 6:30 p.m.
Swinging 60’s Senior’s Center
211 Ainslie Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Miss Heather

MARK YOUR CALENDARS: Presentation Regarding Concerts at East River State Park & The Northside Festival

Given the complaints tendered at the last Community Board meeting regarding the concerts at East River State Park (and banter about banning them) I feel compelled to pass along this item. On May 3rd starting at 6:30 p.m., our Parks Advocate/Parks employee, Stephanie Thayer, along with a few other folks from Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn and the New York City Parks Department will be giving a presentation regarding the concerts slated to grace north Brooklyn this upcoming summer. Those of you who have had issues with these events in the past or simply want to learn more about them should make it a point to attend— and ask questions!*

Parks & Waterfront Committee Meeting
May 3, 2011 starting at 6:30 p.m.
Swinging 60’s Senior’s Center
211 Ainslie Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Miss Heather

*Here are a few for those who might feel inclined to ask:

  1. What measures will be put in place so as to mitigate the impact on the surrounding community, e.g.; noise abatement, trash pick-up, crowd control, etc.?
  2. What measures will be taken to ensure that issues which may arise at other park spaces will be addressed in a timely fashion? Or to put it differently: with the summer being peak season (and as such is more likely to have maintenance issues), how will a balance be achieved between operating these concerts and managing our parks?
  3. Exactly how much money is raised by these concerts for our parks versus money/manpower outlay-ed? Ask for specific figures.
  4. How have the aforementioned funds raised been allocated to date?

New York Shitty Video du Jour: Notice of Eviction

February 15, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

As I have mentioned previously, earlier today I attended Lincoln Restler’s Notice of Eviction press release at 65 Commercial Street. Without further ado here is the footage. Enjoy!

Miss Heather

American Playground Watch: Before & After

January 3, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

On December 30, 2010 our Parks person wrote:

…We are doing all possible with the resources at hand.   Right now, Mother Nature giving a few sunny, non-freezing days would be the most helpful thing possible.

On January 1, 2011 Miss Heather writes (on the Community Board 1 Yahoo Group):

Today I saw a tractor cleaning up the sidewalk in front of Jerzy Popieluszko Square and a group of sullen Parks employees with a truck equipped with a plow at McGolrick Park. One employee was complaining on her cell phone that it was cold. Perhaps when our Parks advocate(s) are done pontificating/congratulating themselves and/or making excuses they could see fit to send these people/equipment my direction?

It would appear that Mother Nature not only gave us a few days of mercifully temperate weather but also a snow plow. Thank you, Mother Nature!

Miss Heather

Spotted At Father Jerzy Popieluszko Square: Snow Removal

I know, it seems incredible but I’ll swear on a stack of Bibles/Talmuds/Korans/Telephone Phone Books— whatever you want— it’s true! Better yet, why not watch for yourself. Seeing is believing!

Perhaps when our Parks Person is done lavishing a little love on Bedford Avenue she could send this guy over to the American Playground? It’s a mess.

But this is not to suggest there isn’t humor to be found here: there most assuredly is! Many of you might recall a portion of this playground has been vacated by the Department of Buildings due to falling debris from an adjacent building. To this end (and in the interest of public safety) a barricade has been put in place. For those of you who are wondering: as of today it is still there.*

The owner of 49 Noble Street (the property in question) may be taking his sweet time to address his decaying building…

but at least he has seen fit to clean his sidewalk! This begs the question as to why our Parks Department has not done the same. No worries, dear readers, I will let our Parks Person herself tender an explanation.

So there have you.

Miss Heather

*Anyone care to place bets how long it will be in place?

Notes From The 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting

Yours truly didn’t feel like going— but she went anyway. I’m glad I did! For starters (and by Greenpoint standards, anyway) the meeting was pretty mellow. This is a good thing since I was not really in the mood for some of the angrier and uglier rhetoric that can (and does) come to pass at these meetings. This is not to suggest there wasn’t anger: there most assuredly was. The difference was the people (ladies all) who aired their ire were (as a friend noted) so darned nice about it! Bicyclists, illegal sidewalk vendors, impertinent youths and liquor licenses all get the treatment at the hands (or would that be mouths) of these ladies. One such lass made an observation so piquant that she has henceforth earned my undying admiration. But I am getting ahead of myself. Without further ado here is footage from last night’s meeting— along with synopses and a bit of analysis from yours truly. Enjoy!

Part I: D. I. Fulton gives opening statements/props and a general rundown of crime trends.

The Rundown:

  • Grand larceny auto and burglaries are up, everything else is down.
  • Vehicle accidents are down 4.1%
  • D. I. Fulton explains that since the crime stats for the 94th are so low that one or two burglaries can skew the crime statistics upward.
  • A spate of robberies via a man riding a bicycle centering (roughly) around “Woodpoint Road and Conselyea Street”. This individual has since been apprehended and identified in a line-up by two victims. NOTE: this chap’s activities came to pass between (once again: roughly) 1:00 and 2:00 a.m. in the morning and his victims were women in their 20’s.
  • D. I. Fulton talks about burglaries.

Part II: D. I. Fulton speaks about car break-ins and the public speaks!

  • Arrests are up 24.7%
  • A case of Greenpoint roof theft
  • D. I. Fulton advises runners patronizing McCarren Park to mind their personal property.
  • One citizen applauds the 94th for apprehending a man who exposed himself to her and her daughter— and physically threatened them at North 7 Street and Bedford Avenue.
  • Same said citizen complains about illegal street vendors.

Part III: The Public Speaks, continued

  • Illegal vendors, continued
  • A general discourse on unruly behavior in general on Bedford Avenue and Williamsburg in general.
  • A Greenpoint resident queries D. I. Fulton about vehicle theft: there were 13 over the summer and 109 total.

Parts IV & V: The Public Speaks, continued

The aforementioned Greenpoint resident complains about Five Leaves’s use of the sidewalk (allegedly after permitted hours for a “sidewalk cafe”) and follows is a general discussion:

  • A burglary on Bedford Avenue
  • A lady from the Lions Club gives the 94th props

  • Bicyclists
  • Street closures and parties, e.g.; do they require permits?
  • Other things including— but not limited to— one of the most awesome observations (or dare I hope: promises) I have ever heard at a 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting. Go to 2:31 and hear it for yourself!
  • There are 97 liquor licenses pending (including a renewal for the Production Lounge*). D.I. Fulton explains this as “growing pains”.
  • Parties
  • Complaints about 311 dropping calls

Closing observations/thoughts:

  1. Once again and all things considered: this meeting was pretty tame.
  2. Nonetheless there was plenty of anger to go around. This mostly centered around aspects of the “new” Williamsburg being a tourist attraction and/or a watering hole of choice. Which brings me to…
  3. the subject of liquor licenses. If the ostensible function of our Community Board is to be the voice of the people and/or institute some semblance of “community standards” their determinations should be more binding. What’s the point of having due process if the SLA (State Liquor Authority) simply looks at their recommendation— let’s say, to deny a liquor and/or Cabaret license— and they issue the license (undoubtedly greased along by lobbyists/parties with deep pockets) anyway? Just a thought.
  4. The previous Op Ed(s) having been written (and to close on a note of levity), I am taking a serious shine to the notion of some exchange program between Greenburg/Williamspoint grannies and ‘noobs in the ‘hood.** I have no doubt the previous can show middle America a few things about partying (take this, for example.) Our friends (far) beyond the Hudson could use some good ol’ north Brooklyn flavor! It builds character.

Miss Heather

*Which inasmuch as much as yours truly can ascertain is STILL operating a monthly strip club. CASE IN POINT:

**I mean this with all due respect. I have grown to absolutely adore Greenpoint grandmas over the years. I simply wish others had the pleasure of enjoying their company. It isn’t so much about “Go back to Ohio”, so to speak, as it is “Get thee to Ohio”— and get us some respect!

Spotted On Franklin Street: Illegal Advertising On Public Property

It would appear that OSA, Open Space Alliance, is employing illegal “street art” advertisements on street signs for their concerts. In a landmarked district, no less. Given the litigious nature of this organization and the fact it is a “private/public partnership” I find this very interesting. The fact this was erected by Leviticus is pure gravy. When I want to feel dirty I read those passages.*

Miss Heather

*The best pornography I have ever read is found in the Bible. Period.

LAST GASP: Pissy Poppins?

Macgyver /Mary Poppins public urination stealth mission.

Macgyver /Mary Poppins public urination stealth mission.

Macgyver /Mary Poppins public urination stealth mission.

These photographs (which hail from none other than north Brooklyn’s pride and joy: McCarren Park) come courtesy of Miss Mousey Brown who writes:

BTW dumbass, the pretty girls near the handball courts were laughing at your lame ass. The port-a-potties were closer than the distance you traveled to pee behind a patio umbrella on the fence line… Well done!

Indeed!

McCarren Park portos on a saturday night

000_2069

Of course given the state of one port-o-let (that has been thoughtfully provided by our local private/public “partnership”) can you blame him?

Miss Heather

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