New York Shitty Video du Jour: Graham Avenue Sausagefest

Today started on a dull, if slightly aggravating, note for yours truly. Since the temperature was mild I decided to brave the rain and go for a walk. All went well until 1:00 p.m. Then came the deluge and I got soaked. I headed to the closest stop of the Crosstown Local without delay. When I reached the corner of Ainslie Street and Graham Avenue let’s just say something um, interesting, arose. Enjoy. Or not.

A few thoughts:

  • Yes, the quality of this video (as uploaded) is iffy.* This is not unintentional. However, I can assure you this man was fondling himself— and believe you me he was “pitching a tent” in those tighty whities! For reasons yours truly cannot yet ascertain, this somehow made the whole episode even more revolting.
  • More than anything I was dumbstruck by this man’s persistence and sheer chutzpah. The fact I stormed across the street in a huff (Yes, I jaywalked. I did not want to go back to the corner and pass by this man. I was more concerned about his safety than my own. I was pissed.) and entered Trattoria 312 did not faze him in the least. He just stood there. With his damned fly open.
  • The guys at Trattoria 312 were— to reiterate— very responsive. This is laudable given I was apoplexic with incredulous rage and did not have my usual gift of gab at the time. One of them even stood outside and watched this gent (which was standing next to their sandwich board advertising lunch specials) as I left their establishment. For this I am very grateful. Thanks again, guys. You just got my business— and given I am still a wee bit bitter Barosa is gone this is saying quite a lot!

Miss Heather

*I have burned my raw footage onto a CD and will be handing this off— along with a photo of this gent— to the 90th Precinct.

UPDATE: It has been handed over to the 90th.

Now At McCarren Park: Indecent Exposure

checkin it out and whippin it outI feel compelled to bring this item (which was taken November 22nd by Miss Mousey Brown) to my fellow Greenburgers’s attention. She writes:

This young man is not a public urinator. He is an exhibitionist or public self- pleasurer. This was a little before school let out. This person fondled his genitals on top of his jeans for a minute while surveying the landscape of joggers, soccer players , and me. He pulled out his penis for about one minute, displayed it to all of the north-face of Bayard street and then he decided to put “it” away.

Can you imagine what it will be like when the McCarren Park Pool reopens? He’ll feel like a kid in a candy store! In all seriousness, please be on the lookout for this chap— and if you spot him “at work” call 911  STAT! This is gross.

Miss Heather

P.S.: For those of you who are wondering (you know who you are) and identification purposes this chap is purported to be rather well endowed.

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