From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Neighbor Of 373 Graham Avenue Speaks

June 20, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn 

A person we’ll call “K” writes:

Hi Heather,

I wrote you a couple of months ago about scumbag Joe at 373 Graham Ave. I was wondering if you know how I would get in touch with the person who runs the 373 Scam Ave Tumblr. My wife and I live basically across the street from that asshole and would like to start giving regular updates to whoever runs that blog (happy to send them to you if you’d rather, but since you cover a lot more than just that guy’s house I thought it more appropriate for that blog).

For instance, there’s been a woman showing up with a dog occasionally to scream at him in the street early in the morning, I walked by the other day and heard him say “if I hit you, you’ll know it” to someone inside the house (maybe the same woman?), and on Sunday night he was playing loud-ass classic rock radio all through the night (I was regrettably too tired to get up and call in a noise complaint and just silently cursed him from my bed).

Bottom line is that man is making this whole neighborhood miserable, and my wife and I would like to contribute anything we can to the cause of exposing his despicable behavior.

Feel free to forward my email on to the author of that blog, or let me know if you’d like us to just keep sending you updates.

To answer your questions, K (not in any particular order):

  • Reader contributions are always welcome, so if you have anything to share by all means kick ’em over!
  • I do not know the person who operates 373 Scam Ave, however his/her email address is as follows:
  • As for what you and yours have been experiencing: you are not alone!

I know a great many people who are tired of the rowdy and occasionally downright scary activities at this establishment. However, none seem to have taken this up with the proper authorities. This needs to change. Here’s what you need to do:

  1. The next time the merrymaking at 373 Graham Avenue keeps you up all night call 311 and complain!
  2. Record the complaint number and…
  3. Send a general outline of your complaint and complaint number to our local Community Board:
  4. Here’s why: although the Community Board is provided data about 311 complaints no specifics are given. Thus they will have no idea if 1 or 50 complaints have been lodged about noise/disorderly activity at 373 Graham Avenue unless you keep them in the loop!
  5. Go to “the meetings”: the 94th Precinct Community Council* and Public Safety Committee (of Community Board 1, which handles criminal matters and inexplicably sidewalk cafe permits— hey, I didn’t make the rules!) respectively.
  6. Unfortunately, neither the 94th Precinct nor Community Board 1 conduct meetings in July or August. HOWEVER…
  7. The Public Safety Committee’s last meeting before summer break is next week!

Public Safety Committee Meeting, Community Board 1
June 27, 2012 starting at 6:30 p.m. (NOTE: you must sign up to speak)
435 Graham Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

In closing, I would like to note that representatives of both the 94th and 90th Precincts attend Public Safety Committee meetings so they are an excellent way to take up any matters/concerns with the police directly. Be there!

*Here’s the calendar for the 94th Precinct Community Council meetings for the remainder of the year for those who may be curious.


From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Message From Deputy Inspector Hurson of the 94th Precinct

As many of you are aware, a sexual assault came to pass on Maspeth Avenue on New Year’s Day. I have many questions about this incredibly upsetting turn of events. I imagine many of you, dear readers, do as well. Well, I have just been informed a public forum will be held on the subject of recent criminal trends— including this incident. D.I. Hurson writes:

Heather if you could get the word out we are having this meeting to clear up misconception about some  issues.

The 94th Precinct along with the 90th Precinct will be holding a joint public safety meeting on Wednesday January 18th at 7:00pm. This meeting will take place at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Church 275 North 8th Street C/O Havemeyer Street. At this event we will also discuss recent crime trends that are affecting the neighborhoods that are covered by the two Precincts. Including the Sexual Assault that occurred on January 1, 2012.


Joint Public Meeting of the 90th & 94th Precinct
January 18, 2012 starting at 7:00 p.m.
Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church
275 North 8th Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Mark your calendars, north Brooklynites.


Live From The Public Safety Committee Meeting

Truth be told it was a rather mellow evening last night at the Warsaw— at least in comparison to the smash-jaw Parks & Waterfront Committee convocation earlier this week. Nonetheless there was much information of interest (including question and answer sessions with representatives from the Fire Department, 94th Precinct and the Department of Consumer Affairs respectively) — and a “moment” (or two) worth savoring. Enjoy!

INTRODUCTION: Chairman Olechowski gives a statement about liquor licenses & the “Moratorium”

Public Safety Chair Mieszko Kalita speaks and the festivities begin!

Deputy Inspector Hurson of the 94th Precinct Answers Questions Tendered by the Board

A representative of the New York City Fire Department Answers Questions Tendered by the Board

Note/observation: Board member Burrows* plays a nice Ed McMahon to Joe Garber’s Johnny Carson. Or something. This is really worth watching folks!

A Representative of the Department of Consumer Affairs Speaks

D.I. Hurson talks about MARCH (and he ain’t talking about the month!)

And of course there is the matter of the Polish Slavic Center Cafeteria’s Liquor License (Spoiler: it was approved)

Lesson learned: Community Board 1 has no judicial power, no police force or F.B.I.

  • You will notice a red ribbon being passed along the table. This was my comrade Sherry’s Unofficial Community Board 1 Ladies Auxiliary badge (we were all sporting them— mine was pink!). Methinks it was a big hit!

It was at this point the meeting shifted to liquor license applications. There were many. My compatriots and I each got a drink.

What the 10:00 p.m. rolled around we decided we could do one of two things:

  • Get inebriated at a Public Safety Committee meeting (which would add a whole new provocative dimension to the proceedings).
  • Go home.

We chose the latter.

Miss Heather

*Who, it should be noted later took yours truly to task for not providing him and his colleagues snacks and refreshments. Here’s how I couched my rebuttal (to my buddy Christine):

I am not Community Board 1’s caterer. I am only its fluffer.

P.S.: Special props/credit goes out to ievil_spock_47i for observing the uncanny resemblance between the photo yours truly took and Leonardo Da Vinci’s The Last Supper. Awesome catch!

Christmas With Q

(Or: Drinking On Duty)

Last night a good friend of mine— one who I do not see as often as I’d like to— came over for Christmas dinner. The reason I do not see her much is she is a bartender and as a result keeps “vampire hours”. Nonetheless my friend, who we will call “Q”, usually has a host of work stories to share when we do see each other. Some of them are very funny, some of them are not. Which brings me to the subject of this post: as we supped and were getting caught up the subject of the 94th Precinct arose. I found what she had to recount downright disturbing.

Q recounted to me numerous occasions when those who ostensibly protect and serve us would drop by her place of employment seeking something to drink. In uniform. On duty. When one such public servant requested a margarita Q felt compelled to point the beverage in question had alcohol in it. To wit he replied:

A margarita has alcohol in it?

The last time I checked they do. Or should. In any case I can personally attest that my buddy Q makes ’em strong!

Another time Q overheard one officer say to another:

What if (excised— supervisor) smells this on my breath?

Inasmuch as I understand it this issue was quickly resolved and they proceeded to imbibe. As you can imagine my friend does not feel very comfortable being asked by officers on duty to serve them alcoholic beverages. Can you blame her? After all, we are talking about a group of men and women who have to think on their feet and let us not forget: bear firearms. But as the evening wound down I came away with the distinct impression drinking on duty is a fairly common practice.

Why don’t they go to the Turkey’s Nest? Everyone knows they’ll give you drinks to go. That’s where the police go.

Q mused. This is a very good question. Perhaps someone should posit it to our new Commanding Officer?

Miss Heather

Mark Your Calendars: September 27, 2010

September 15, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Tonight’s CB1 meeting was not terribly lively— but I did learn something that will undoubtedly be of interest to Greenpointers be they for or against the proposed homeless shelter slated for 400 McGuinness Boulevard: Monday, September 27 at 6:30 p.m. a hearing will be conducted at our very own Polish National Home. This will be presided over by the Public Safety Committee Chair (and all around bad ass): Mieszko Kalita. I admonish each and every Greenpointer reading this to make it a point to attend and have your say!

Hearing Regarding The Proposed Homeless Shelter at 400 McGuinness Boulevard
September 27, 2010 starting at 6:30 P.M.
Polish National Home
216 Driggs Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: What Happened November 7?

November 21, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

This was first brought to my attention by someone whose son is a friend of a someone involved, e.g.; via the Greenpoint grapevine. By that I mean the friend (of the son of my tipster) in question was allegedly beaten up by the police and went to the hospital. Per my tipster the fight started over a woman being harassed. Her son’s friend tried to intervene and police officers were knocking cameras out of the hands of bystanders. And busting heads.

I cannot profess to know the truth for the simple reason I was not there. But something very ugly came to pass that evening. Accounts vary, but it boils down to this: two men went to the hospital that night. And the NYPD had something to do with it.

This is interesting given the NYPD’s apparent blind eye to Club Exit, which has no less than two incidences of gun play in the last 18 months— and yet is still open for business. It should also be noted Blackout has been cited for not having a Cabaret License (and a personal visit from D. I. Fulton) because they (purportedly) had D.J.s spinning records.*


Miss Heather

*Per the website:

Any room, place or space in the city in which patron dancing is permitted in connection with the restaurant business or a business that sells food and/or beverages to the public requires a Cabaret license. This description is only a general explanation of which businesses need to have a Cabaret license…

You can read the rest here. Being somewhat of an expert on such stuff D.J.s do not a dance hall and subsequent debauchery make. By all appearances Club Exit does not have a Cabaret license, yet no one is citing them.

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