Greenpoint Photo du Jour: And Now A Word From T & N Wine and Liquor

April 11, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Taken April 11, 2012.

Greenpoint Photos du Jour: T & N Wine, Revisited

April 1, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

After I took the above images a couple of male passerbys remarked:

I wonder if he’ll put live chicks and bunnies in there again?

Um, after the colossal shit storm last year I ssupect that will not be happening this time around.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: T & N Wine and Liquor

March 31, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

It would appear the cranktabulous proprietor of this establishment, Chris, has embarked upon his latest opus!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos du Jour: From T & Wine & Liquor With Love

February 10, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Taken February 9, 2011.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Gearing Up For Thanksgiving Weekend

November 24, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From T & N Wine & Liquor.

Miss Heather

LAST GASP: Vodka Shots?

October 24, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

display

Adam writes:

I’m a big fan of your blog, a while back you posted a picture of an AK-47 shaped vodka bottle (sure brings a new meaning to shooting vodka huh!?). Do you happen to remember where that was?  I’ve gotta see this for myself. Anyhow keep up the great work on the blog, its great to see the pics from our backyard!

This item can (still) be found in the window of T & N Wine and Liquor along with a box advertising “Armenian Adam”.

Ask about him.

T & N Wine and Liquor
983 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

Photo Credits: autovac & Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: I WANT YOU

August 18, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

display

This piece of Greenpoint glory was captured by autovac and hails from T & N Wine & Liquor on Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Manhattan Avenue

April 9, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Taken April 9, 2010.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Happiness is a Cold (War) Gun

December 5, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

As his recent Thanksgiving window display made all too clear Chris, the proprietor of T & N Wine and Liquor, is a man of— how shall we say— unique sensibilities. Needless to say when I noticed he has embarked upon his Christmas decor this afternoon I simply had to know what was in store. Chris was rather coy but he told me it would be pretty subdued. Noting the disappointed expression on my face Chris then gestured to me head to the last register. He had something to cheer me up.

paper

This is an advertisement he recently placed with a Polish language publication. To truly appreciate the ad copy (which he translated to me and I will go into in a minute) one needs to take a closer look at the wares being advertised.

vodka

  1. Polish vodka in a “decorative” container aping an artillery shell.
  2. A “field artillery kit” consisting of a “bottle” of vodka in the form of a Kalashnikov, six shot glasses (or “bullets” as Chris called them) and a flask shaped like a grenade.

Which brings me back to Chris’s snappy copy (NOTE: this is highly paraphrased):

These will guarantee you a peaceful evening.

His rationale behind this cryptic statement:

If you have a gun no one will bother you.

Indeed. You will be delighted to know these items will be the centerpiece of Chris’s Christmas opus. I can hardly wait!

Miss Heather

Consumer Product Review Du Jour: Pizza Wine

June 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Today I woke up in one hell of a mood. I’m not too sure what “put me over”. Was it one of our cats keeping me up all night or managing to get a nice big splinter in my foot immediately upon stepping out of bed? Probably the latter, as when I informed the Mister about this turn of events he said:

I’ve been trying to pick up the broken glass in the kitchen.

I replied:

I did not hurt my foot in the kitchen. I hurt it in the bedroom.

Realizing that he had incriminated himself in the destruction of household property— probably mine— the Mister replied:

Oh.

The junk shop was more or less more of the same. At one point some clown brought a ceramic jug, probably of Native American origin, to the counter. This item was clearly labeled in the Queen’s English as costing $30.00. Needless to say when he asked:

Is this thirty cents?

I was less than amused. A tip to the wise: when patronizing the junk shop do not attempt to knock decimal points off the price. Not only will this make the management very angry, it will ensure that every item you ask about thereafter will have its price increased by at least 25%.

Needless to say after wasting a considerable amount of our time this chap saw fit to purchase two books priced at $4.00. Total. So it goes.

tandn

Anyhoo, as I went out to grab some lunch I found a most intriguing advertisement in the window of T & N Wine And Liquors.

pizzawine

God only knows living in Greenpoint has made me no stranger to all manner and variety of rot gut. As a matter of fact (and as a result of our sour economy) I have become somewhat of a connoisseur of the stuff. This is not for lack of effort on my parent’s part to instruct me as to the finer points oenology; I simply take a more nuanced view of the art.

The sad economic reality is I do not have the means to quaff blue chip booze on a regular basis. Had I possessed the means to do this I assure that’s what I would do. But I prefer to see the glass half full, in this case with ripple; I do have the means to try a $3.00 bottle of “pizza wine”! Egged on by Larry the Junkman‘s morbid curiousity and my own creeping suspicion that the day couldn’t possibly get any worse I purchased a bottle and a slice.

pizzared

The copy on this diminutive (375 ml) bottle reads as follows:

This fresh RED WINE has been specifically developed to match the variety of flavors found in PIZZA. The grapes have been grown under a wide, blue and sun filled sky which packs the grape with BEAUTIFUL FLAVOR. Some of the natural grape sweetness has been retained to further enhance your enjoyment of t his wine. If you enjoy your affair with this wine please recommend it to your friends as it is a new product and may not have discovered it.

Cheers

Peter Brown

New York Shitty analysis:

PROS

  • As the instructions “served chilled” and screw top led me to suspect this wine is incredibly sweet. Depending on one’s personal taste this could be a pro or a con. On a hot and muggy day like today I am inclined to say it’s a “pro”.
  • I suppose it goes pretty nicely with pizza— albeit probably not as well as a beer would.
  • I am pleased to report that I have yet to experience any side effects (READ: going blind) and found its curious effervescence (and 12% alcohol content) very effective when it came to extracting that splinter out of my foot. If I was a field medic I would definitely keep this product on hand.

CONS

  • At $3.00 a bottle (even with tax included) this isn’t really much of a bargain. If one bottle is designed to accompany two slices I’d guesstimate it would take five bottles to match a ten slice pie. That totals to $15.00. For that kind of money you can buy a couple six packs of decent beer.

But who am I to judge? Try it for yourself. For $3.00 tax-included can you honestly expect to live forever?

T & N Wine and Liquor
983 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

UPDATE, June 29, 2009: It has been brought to my attention from the folks at Serious Eats that a pie does not come in 10 slices. On June 29, 2009 Adam Kuban writes:

Ten-slice pie? Where is Miss Heather getting a ten-slice pie? Note: A pizza is usually cut in eight- or six-slice configurations.

I take my slices as I take life in Greenpoint: one at a time. My analysis was merely for economic purposes and has a 1-2 slice margin of error— not unlike our country’s unemployment statistics. I prefer “Sicilian style” anyway. This comes in “configurations” of 9 and 12. This would require 5 or 6 bottles of “Pizza Wine”.

The previous ad hoc analysis is of course contigent on the quality of pizza and/or company. A significant “downturn” in either of the previous will result in a greater demand for “Pizza Wine”. From yours truly, anyway.

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