From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part III: Gratitude

March 26, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

A personal we’ll call “D” writes:

Hi Miss Heather,

Thanks to your coverage I was able to avoid renting at 239 Banker. I was very close to moving in when I saw your posts. So after some savvy DOB research and a couple calls I decided it was not worth it. These folks are shady! Here are some bullet points as to why.

1. On the phone they had me meet at another location instead of giving the address. None of the advertisements for this place show the address anymore. Because it’s not a legal building.

2. They are advertising 2-3 bedrooms but even if the building were legal the spaces cannot be legally be divided up to be more than 1 bedroom without a window in each.

3. They say they will build out the space for move in, but there is no toilet, no heat, no stove, no appliances, the windows are unsealed, the doors don’t have locks, floors unfinished. Getting all that work done in a couple weeks is doubtful. Finishing floors alone can take a week with all the fumes and dust.

4. The place is full of unfinished apartments. Who wants to live in a construction zone? Not me.

Don’t get me wrong. We all know folks who inhabit work lofts with a wink-wink nudge-nudge agreement. And I’m okay with that. But this is masquerading as an apartment conversion and charging near market rates. I don’t want these people to end up on the street all over again!

Take care

xo

Thanks for the kind words, D! On a lark I headed over to Craigslist (which is apparently where a number of advertisements for this space are to be found) to see what’s shaking. Follows is one I found:

As you can see this place is apparently for rent by owner. Fascinating. Those of you who desire to do so can view this advertisement by clicking here.

Spotted At 239 Banker Street: Signs Of Habitation

March 21, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Taken March 21, 2012.

New York Shitty Day Starter: Great Moments of Real Estate Hyperbole

March 5, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

(Or: The “Hart” of Greenpoint)

There is real estate insanity and then there is real estate insanity. This apartment, located at the immensely bucolic intersection of Green Street and Manhattan Avenue, has a manifold number of advertisements on Craigslist. But by far this one was the most imaginative (hence why I decided it merited mention). Nothing says “luxury” like a toilet ready, willing and able to do its duty  juxtaposed against a tropical paradise (which Greenpoint, my beloved home, is decidedly not). Citing the G train as an enticement is rather dubious as well. The previous having been written, here are the rest.

All these listings are purportedly  “by owner”. Damn.

P.S.: Lest any of you, dear readers, are wondering why I was looking at apartment advertisements on Craigslist in this draconian price bracket I’ll tell you. I had the pleasure of bumping into yet another group of people waiting to view “apartments” at 239 Banker Street this weekend! Here’s what one had to say afterward:

Hi Heather. Thanks, again, for the heads up on the shady business at Banker St. today. The apartment had very bad craftsmanship and the only elevator in the building was a scary freight elevator that had a sign stating it was unlawful for any person other than the operator to ride in the elevator…the guy renting out the spaces is named Saul (917-549-XXXX) and he’s got them listed multiple times on craigslist. We’re obviously going to pass on that building but we really loved the area. Do you have any tips/leads on finding an apartment around there? I’d appreciate any help you could offer!

I have tendered my advice to this (incredibly nice) person. If any of you, dear readers, have tips/advice as well please share them via comments or via email at missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. This having been written, it would appear Saul’s advertisements regarding 239 Banker Street have since disappeared into the ether. No worries, I found this…

and this.

 

Now At 39 Meserole Avenue: The Factory Building

February 14, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Yes gentle readers, it would appear the place formerly known as the Sweater Factory Lofts is not only continuing its brave endeavor to press a transient hotel into service as residential space, but now it has a new address, new name and these will set you back an additional $700.00 plus a month! The newly christened Factory Lofts listing on Street Easy (as seen above) can be perused by clicking here. Please do take a moment to give this a read. Follows is a sample of the ad copy which awaits your delectation:

The lofts at The FACTORY BUILDING are made for unique individuals. Each loft apartment remains different, and there are endless opportunities to divide, reimagine and design your own personal space. Yes, we’ve thrown in new amenities to make sure that you’re living in modern comfort, but how you decide to live is up to you. These are raw, chic spaces ready for you to make your mark.
Another huge perk of The FACTORY BUILDING lofts is the preservation of old windows from when the building was a factory. Come for a viewing on a bright day. Sunlight pours through the windows and adds a wonderful aura to the spaces. We’ve reinsulated and reinstalled all apartment fixtures, so you get old world ambiance with new improvements.

These words struck me as being eerily familiar. After a little research I discovered why:

It is the same exact ad copy used to pitch the Sweater Factory Lofts in 2009! And of course we all know what came of “old world ambiance meets new improvements” that time around…

 Caveat emptor, apartment hunters.

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