From The New York Shitty Inbox: Kosciuszko Bridge Free Verse

Yesterday afternoon I received a text message from none other than Queens Crap. It went as follows:

Great graffiti msgs on wall of bqe by crappy park

To wit I, the New York Shittite I am, inquired:

Which crappy park?

Let’s face facts: those of us who our “Parks Advocates” profess to serve in the 11211 and 11222 — the hoi polloi, if you will— while different in many ways can agree on one thing: our parks are overall, um, a bit lackluster. I was not being coy or cheeky when I asked Crappy for a clarification. I was a asking a legitimate question. If this is not damning indictment of the “system” which has been put in place to “benefit” my community I do not know what is. But I digress.

Crappy replied:

Vandervoort.

That’s all I needed to know.

Welcome to Sgt. William Dougherty Playground located at Vandervoort and Meeker Avenue in the armpit whoops, I meant on-ramp of Kosciuszko Bridge. I immediately noticed something amiss (as indicated by the above arrow). It took a little investigating— and a LOT of patience— but I unraveled this mystery. Or at least documented it. Here it goes.

(NOTE: You can view this section in larger format by clicking here.)

I love a happy ending.

Miss Heather

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