Today In Real Estate Insanity: How To Live In Greenpoint For Under $1,000/Month

apartmentwanted

umnothanksYours truly has developed quite a fixation on AirBnb lately. This is not simply due to the lawsuit unfolding either. Rather, the Mister and I had the pleasure of having a trio of miscreants walk into our apartment at 9:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning. The leader of this group announced that they were here from AirBnb and tried to hand his luggage to the Mister (who was still in his pajamas). The landlord (who had no knowledge this was going on) was called. I searched AirBnb for the listing, found it, took screengrabs and sent them to landlord. Let’s just say this did not go over well.

In any case, parsing through ~450 listings for Greenpoint (and being awakened by one’s husband rolling out more f-bombs in 2 minutes than I have ever heard him utter— much less yell— in 10+ years will motivate one to do this kind of thing) made me aware that this is a pervasive practice. I am surprised? No, not really. Still, it is wretchedly comical on occasion— especially when compared to the solicitation which graces the beginning of this post. CASE IN POINT:

fiftydollarsanight

But wait folks— there’s more…

COZY!

Much more— like what the fuck is up with the slide?

slide

No worries, the “host” of these digs gives full disclosure:

Hello Traveler,

I’m an Artist living in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. I share my 3 bedroom Classic Artist’s Loft with travelers from Airbnb. I am respectful, kind and accommodating. I am seeking the same out of you! This is a fairly large apartment, it’s spacious feeling even when everyone is home. I have been very lucky and met amazing people through this service. Much of my furniture was custom made by the artist Jean-Marie Mauclet of JEMA Design and all my lighting is eco-friendly LED’s.

You are welcome to stay in my guest loft. This is a great short-term space for the budget traveler that does not require much privacy. If this space is booked, you are looking for a longer stay or need more privacy check out my “Private Room in Classic Loft” or “Brite Room in Classic Artist’s Loft.” Both are just as cool, better for long stays and have more privacy! The “Cozy Loft” is built above the door in the main living area. When at home, I tend to hang out in my bedroom on my computer or on the roof when the weather is nice. The weekends can be a bit livelier, but not by much! I will provide clean sheets for your double-bed and warm blankets if needed. I also have plenty of storage space if you should need it. Under the loft I have a wardrobe just for your use with plenty of drawers and a place to lock up your computer or other small valuables if you are concerned. The loft is relatively private, comfortable and clean. However, it is not great for couples seeking a romantic vacation or anyone who needs absolute silence to sleep. It has the unusual entrance and exit of an industrial slide. It is not particularly challenging to use, but can be a problem If you are a bit tipsy from going on a pub crawl in the neighborhood, uncoordinated or tired.

My Artist’s Loft is located on the top floor on a quiet street in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. This is a very safe and friendly part of Brooklyn to visit. I have a manually operated freight elevator that is off limits (* Ed. note) but can be used to transport heavy items if you require. I have fantastic roof access with beautiful views of the New York Skyline. Bring your lap top computer and connect to my WiFi. If you sit in the right space you can enjoy the WiFi in the open air on the roof.

The Franklin Ave (Street — Ed. Note) shops, restaurants and bars are just around the corner. The closest Subway station is the Greenpoint Ave G, also in walking distance is the Bedford Ave L and the Vernon Blvd 7. By subway, I am located 25 minutes from Union Square, 26 minutes from Times Square, 30 minutes from Central Park, 38 minutes from Tribeca and 25 minutes from the East Village. The B61 and B43 bus stop is only a block away and very helpful when weather is uncomfortable. JFK is one hour away by public transport and LGA is 25 minutes away by Cab. Get Ready for your “morning slide!”  I look forward to meeting you. – (excised)

cosynest

So what do members of AirBnb’s “community” have to say? See for yourself. Reading is believing!

reviews

By all appearances —and until recently yours truly lived on the block in question for ten years— these cozy accommodations appear to hail from 125 Green Street. What’s more, Google backs me up!

aurbnbverfiedvagooglemaps

The funny thing is NAG (formerly Neighbors Allied Against Garbage, now Neighbors Allied For Good Growth) tried to organize this building. Under the pretext that such industrial spaces cum artists space preserved the “artistic integrity” of the community.

Confused About The Loft Law?

One year later, there is neither a Loft Law application— nor Certificate of Occupancy for this property for that matter. But it has a cozy loft available for $975.00 a month. 

airbnbsc

Slide on!

P.S.: The front door of this artists’ abode has Freddy Mercury on it.

freddymercury

Awesome. Totally awesome.

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Reward

March 1, 2013 ·
Filed under: Astoria, Astoria Queens, New York City, WTF 

reward

Taken by Eriadorian.

Great Moments in Greenpoint Real Estate: Special Enlightenment Edition

October 21, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Abjectecture, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, WTF 

It has been a long time— perhaps too long— since I have expounded upon the real estate goings-on in Greenpoint. This is because quite frankly it has not been very interesting. There has been the odd development here and there to be certain, but the folks at Belvedere Bridge realty have yet to deliver Belvedere 30, or, XXX. I assure you, gentle readers, I have been very eager to see this happen. So it goes.

This is not to suggest, however, that they have not been busy balconizing my fair burgh: they have. I can personally attest that their latest creation is quite something. In fact, I’d go so far as to write it exceeds my wildest expectations. This is really saying something. Do read on and behold the Greenpoint glory for yourselves!

At a casual glance this block (Green Street between Manhattan Avenue and McGuinness Boulevard) appears to be like any other to be had here.

This ruptured bag of shit? While repulsive it is nothing special. In fact I call it downright pedestrian.

The dulcet hum of DOT trucks heading back to the depot under the Pulaski Bridge? Broadway has its lullaby, this is north Greenpoint’s!

No sir, if you want to see something truly amazing head to 186 Green Street. There, my fellow Garden Spotters, you will find your castle!

The Mister: OHSO?
Me: No. O-S-H-O. It says it’s a castle. If so, where the hell is Rapunzel? Or Lord and Lady Douchebag for that matter?

And what the hell is OSHO?

I could not stop asking myself this question. So this morning, gentle readers, I dipped into the fount of all knowledge: Wikipedia. Follows is what I found:

And follows are my favorite passages from the above tome:

In 1981, Osho relocated to the United States and his followers established an international community, later known as Rajneeshpuram, in the state of Oregon. Within a year, the leadership of the commune became embroiled in a conflict with local residents, primarily over land use, which was marked by hostility on both sides. The large collection of Rolls-Royce automobiles purchased for his use by his followers also attracted notoriety. The Oregon commune collapsed in 1985 when Osho revealed that the commune leadership had committed a number of serious crimes, including a bioterror attack (food contamination) on the citizens of The Dalles.[4] He was arrested shortly afterwards and charged with immigration violations. Osho was deported from the United States in accordance with a plea bargain.[5][6][7] Twenty-one countries denied him entry, causing Osho to travel the world before returning to Poona, where he died in 1990. His ashram is today known as the Osho International Meditation Resort…

The salmonella attack was noted as the first confirmed instance of chemical or biological terrorism to have occurred in the United States.[118] Osho stated that because he was in silence and isolation, meeting only with Sheela, he was unaware of the crimes committed by the Rajneeshpuram leadership until Sheela and her “gang” left and sannyasins came forward to inform him.[119] A number of commentators have stated that in their view Sheela was being used as a convenient scapegoat.[119][120][121] Others have pointed to the fact that although Sheela had bugged Osho’s living quarters and made her tapes available to the U.S. authorities as part of her own plea bargain, no evidence has ever come to light that Osho had any part in her crimes.[122][123][124] Nevertheless Gordon (1987) reports that Charles Turner, David Frohnmayer and other law enforcement officials, who had surveyed affidavits never released publicly and who listened to hundreds of hours of tape recordings, insinuated to him that Osho was guilty of more crimes than those for which he was eventually prosecuted.[125] Frohnmayer asserted that Osho’s philosophy was not “disapproving of poisoning” and that he felt he and Sheela had been “genuinely evil”.[125]

According to court testimony by Ma Ava (Ava Avalos), a prominent disciple, Sheela played associates a tape recording of a meeting she had had with Osho about the “need to kill people” in order to strengthen wavering sannyasins resolve in participating in her murderous plots: “She came back to the meeting and […] began to play the tape. It was a little hard to hear what he was saying. […] And the gist of Bhagwan’s response, yes, it was going to be necessary to kill people to stay in Oregon. And that actually killing people wasn’t such a bad thing. And actually Hitler was a great man, although he could not say that publicly because nobody would understand that. Hitler had great vision.”[96] Sheela initiated attempts to murder Osho’s caretaker and girlfriend, Ma Yoga Vivek, and his personal physician, Swami Devaraj (Dr. George Meredith), because she felt they were a threat to Osho; she had secretly recorded a conversation between Devaraj and Osho “in which the doctor agreed to obtain drugs the guru wanted to ensure a peaceful death if he decided to take his own life.”[96]

During his residence in Rajneeshpuram, Osho dictated three books under the influence of nitrous oxide (Emphasis mine — Ed. Note) administered to him by his private dentist: Glimpses of a Golden Childhood, Notes of a Madman and Books I Have Loved.[126] Sheela later stated that Osho took sixty milligrams of Valium each day and was addicted to nitrous oxide.[127][128][129] Osho denied these charges when questioned about them by journalists.[127][130]

Wow. Just wow. I wonder if Osho is a Widespread Panic fan? It just goes to show that all roads— at least those located in north Brooklyn— lead to laughing gas. Where do I park my Rolls?

 

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    The old ThunderboltCHRISTIANE F.Angulo Rojo IIStencil Graffiti ArtDumbo DropElephant Man IIFlushing AvenueUkrainian National Home
  • Ads