The Greenpoint Hotel Goes Upscale!

April 24, 2008 by
Filed under: Area 51, Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

I have written much about this institution. When I first moved to Greenpoint I had the dubious honor of living around the corner from this den of iniquity. I quickly became acclimatized to having crack heads, derelicts, ex-cons and register sex offenders as neighbors. Police raids became routine, e.g.; buy groceries, run laundry, watch 20+ policemen (and women) raid the Greenpoint Hotel.

I have since moved on, but nothing— and I mean NOTHING— prepared me for the email I received last night.

Laura: Hi Heather! I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The Greenpoint Hotel has a website that boasts of its “luxury suites”.

Miss H: Seriously, this isn’t a joke?

Laura: My personal favorite is that they refer to it as a “bed & breakfast”. I guess it’s the place to be!

Miss H: Mary, Jesus and Joseph— and I am not even CATHOLIC!!!

Laura: I so thought this was up your alley! Enjoy!

This institution got hit with a Stop Work Order after one patron partaking of said “comfortable accommodations” set his mattress on fire and was found frolicking in his own feces last February.

Before being hauled off to Bellevue, he assaulted a police officer! Keith Moon, eat you heart out! Hilarious hoax or wishful thinking? Check out their web site and* decide for yourself!

Miss Heather

*This delightful article from the New York Times.


3 Comments on The Greenpoint Hotel Goes Upscale!

  1. zoya on Thu, 24th Apr 2008 9:35 am
  2. 450 bucks per month in January 2006? No wonder.

  3. Jay on Thu, 24th Apr 2008 5:03 pm
  4. It looks like, aka, cranks these cheap sites out and hosts them. The complete lack of being in touch with the reality of the business in question makes me wonder if they don’t create sites for businesses found in various directories (it’d take only minutes to put something like this together off a template) and then contact the business to try to sell them on the idea.

    That’ll be my theory: the entity that made the site has no idea what the Greenpoint Hotel is; this is just a generic website for a generic hotel.

  5. missheather on Thu, 24th Apr 2008 5:59 pm
  6. Very interesting, Jay. In any case, it’s friggin hilarious.

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