Great Moments in Greenpoint Siding, Volume VIII

July 5, 2007 by
Filed under: Vinyl Siding 

Recently my buddy over at Word Books was in distress. She was perplexed by a rather snarky and peculiar quip Daily Intelligencer made about the sign she made advertising an “Adults Only” Harry Potter release party. She even asked me if I was responsible for this. I told her no. This is the truth.

I’ll be honest; I find the fascination some adults (especially middle-aged adults) have for Ms. Rowling’s body of work a little creepy. Not unlike Star Trek groupies who elect to exchange their wedding vows in Klingon. Both of the previous types of people are beyond my comprehension.

That said, I know damn well that I am in no position whatsoever to judge people for what they read because my reading habits are pretty fucking peculiar in their own right. Sex workers and sideshow freaks are of particular interest to yours truly. Regarding the latter, I recently finished a book entitled “The Lives and Loves of Daisy and Violet Hilton.” I purchased this book from (where else?) Word Books.

Who are the Hiltons, you ask? First off, they are in no way related to THOSE Hiltons. In fact, their actual surname is not Hilton at all. Those of you who have seen Tod Browning’s Freaks have seen them; they were the Siamese twins.

This weekend, as I was giving Mikeypod a grand tour of Greenpoint, I showed him our very own Siamese house.

Siamese House

You can find this freak of architectural nature on Norman Avenue. The best I can reckon is someone took the house on the right (which faces Jewel Street) and grafted its hindquarters to the house on the left. It also appears that they added a little eagle’s nest to the top (for what purpose, I do not know— maybe this is its head?). The solitary Fedders box on the western section of the first floor is a nice touch. It sort of looks like a wart.

The siding salesman probably retired on the profits he made sheathing and Fedderizing this fucker. And that folks is why this frankenhouse merits recognition as a great moment in Greenpoint siding!

Miss Heather


6 Comments on Great Moments in Greenpoint Siding, Volume VIII

  1. jukeboxgraduate on Thu, 5th Jul 2007 1:01 pm
  2. Miss Heather – I, too, shared your disdain for the Potter books until I had a conversation at a party years ago. The person I was talking to said, just get one out of the library and try it, I felt the same way you did.

    So I took one out of the library.

    And I couldn’t put it down. I took a 500 page library book on a plane trip (e.g., no way to give it away once it was done) because I was so entranced.

    It’s an escape. One can read the books and be a fan without reading the Harry Potter web sites every day or going to a Potter convention. And I’m happy to give my $$ to Word and get the book the night it comes out instead of ordering it from Amazon or going to Barnes & Noble.

    Life’s hard enough. Let us find our solace and escape wherever it may be.

  3. missheather on Thu, 5th Jul 2007 1:10 pm
  4. It’s all good.

    Like I said before, I am in no position to judge. Just being a smart ass. 😉

  5. fisher6000 on Thu, 5th Jul 2007 3:27 pm
  6. I consistently love the way you turn siding into an agent of structural freakitude—an architectural Morphing Tool, if you will.

    I know that your goal is to be a smart ass and that I may be taking this series too seriously… but you are pointing to such a poigniant truth here–that surface is the layer that matters.

    Beautiful work, miss H. Please look at more siding.
    Thanks for the invite, I will be RSVPing soon.

    Deborah Fisher

  7. missheather on Thu, 5th Jul 2007 5:29 pm
  8. Thanks Deborah, as you know it is pretty hard NOT to look at “more siding” here 😉

  9. MyTwoCents on Fri, 13th Jul 2007 8:38 pm
  10. Ummm, that would be Nassau Avenue, not Nassau Street.

  11. missheather on Fri, 13th Jul 2007 9:05 pm
  12. Duly noted, thanks for setting me straight!

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