New York Shitty Day Ender: Live From Newtown Creek
Filed under: 11101, 11206, 11222, 11378, Blissville, Blissville Queens, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Long Island City Queens, Maspeth, Maspeth Queens, Newtown Creek
While prognosticated, the rapture did not happen today. Or if it did I was left behind and am ready, willing and able to process copious amounts of photographs and video footage from my Newtown Creek experience. Before we proceed here are some interesting facts/observations:
- Courtesy of a nearby radio station the Kosciuszko Bridge is “live”. In other words when men perform maintenance on it they must be “grounded”.
- The sour mash from breweries which formerly dotted the creek were fed to cows and their milk (which was reputed to taste rather awful) was then sold to orphanages at deep discounts. For this reason the product was called “orphan’s milk”.
- The “product” from our local waste treatment plant is dried into cakes (their words, not mine) and sold on the open market as fertilizer.
- After a week of heavy rainfall Newtown Creek is awash in Coney Island whitefish.
A Bit About Hunters Point (South) Development
Two Words: SHIT TITS!
Our tour guide, Mitch Waxman, explains the provenance of “DUGABO”
The First, But Hardly Last, Condom Spotting of the Day
The Penny Bridge Is Discussed
A Representative from Riverkeeper Speaks, Part I: Waste Management
TEASER/CAVEAT: If you watch carefully you will see the putrefied bloated corpse of a cat drifting in the water.
A Representative from Riverkeeper Speaks, Part II: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About The Shit Tits
In closing I will leave you with this very informative brochure from my sojourn. You can view it by clicking here.