New York Shitty Day Ender: Live From Newtown Creek

Shit Tits and Scrap Metal

While prognosticated, the rapture did not happen today. Or if it did I was left behind and am ready, willing and able to process copious amounts of photographs and video footage from my Newtown Creek experience. Before we proceed here are some interesting facts/observations:

  • Courtesy of a nearby radio station the Kosciuszko Bridge is “live”. In other words when men perform maintenance on it they must be “grounded”.
  • The sour mash from breweries which formerly dotted the creek were fed to cows and their milk (which was reputed to taste rather  awful) was then sold to orphanages at deep discounts. For this reason the product was called “orphan’s milk”.
  • The “product” from our local waste treatment plant is dried into cakes (their words, not mine) and sold on the open market as fertilizer.
  • After a week of heavy rainfall Newtown Creek is awash in Coney Island whitefish.

A Bit About Hunters Point (South) Development

Two Words: SHIT TITS!

Our tour guide, Mitch Waxman, explains the provenance of “DUGABO”

The First, But Hardly Last, Condom Spotting of the Day

The Penny Bridge Is Discussed

KAYAKERS!

A Representative from Riverkeeper Speaks, Part I: Waste Management

TEASER/CAVEAT: If you watch carefully you will see the putrefied bloated corpse of a cat drifting in the water.

A Representative from Riverkeeper Speaks, Part II: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About The Shit Tits

In closing I will leave you with this very informative brochure from my sojourn. You can view it by clicking here.

Miss Heather

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