Filed under: Bushwick
This sloucher is from Starr Street.
Pulaski Street, Bedford Stuyvesant.
Lorimer Street, Williamsburg
One thing I really love about Brooklyn is their love of toys. As I walk our borough’s streets I never know when I will find a tug boat perched atop a quonset, a leopard hiding in a shrub or a dapperly dressed plastic duck. But enough with the words, let’s see some toys!
Myrtle Avenue, Fort Greene
Wythe Avenue, Williamsburg
Stuyvesant Avenue, Bedford Stuyvesant
Boerum Street, “East Williamsburg”
Putnam Avenue, Bedford Stuyvesant.
I got into an interesting discussion with a gentleman (and Marine Corps. veteran) who lives across the street from this planter. That’s one thing I have noticed about Bed-Stuy; the people who live there are incredibly friendly and LOVE to talk.
Neighbor: I saw the guy who put the leopard in that planter.
Miss Heather: Really?
Neighbor: Yes, it was around midnight. I thought to myself “You know, if he wants to do that kind of thing he should do it on his own property. Someone’s liable to walk by this at twelve hundred or thirteen hundred, you know, in the morning, drunk, and think, Hey it’s a kitten!”
Did I mention Bed-Stuyers also have a wicked sense of humor?
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Any Greenpointer new or old will recognize this building. It is the Greenpoint Savings Bank. Or more accurately, it was the Greenpoint Savings Bank. A few years ago it was bought out by North Fork. Most recently it became Capital One. Which brings me to a fantastic comment I received from a reader who has the pleasure of banking at this newly christened establishment. Rebecca11222 writes:
You know the economy is bad when the big banks are buying up the smaller ones. Greenpoint Bank became North Fork in 2005. North Fork is now owned by Capital One. Youâ€™d think that would mean theyâ€™d hire more tellers and improve service, but youâ€™d be wrong.
I was in line last month when some elderly ladies came close to rioting because the bank was â€œall out of $100 bills.â€ One hip granny said:
Whadaya mean youâ€™re out of money? Youâ€™re a bank, you ainâ€™t the damn grocery store.
The guards were getting nervous. The situation was resolved when the eight to ten of us in line (2 tellers working) came to the womanâ€™s aid and traded large bills for her small ones.
Nope, you can’t take Greenpoint. Or would that be Greenpoint grannies wont take you(r shit)?
Filed under: Bed-Stuy
This cheerfully customized stoop from Bed-Stuy is the perfect way to start off a Saturday!
Those of you who bemoan the lack of public lavatories in north Greenpoint will be pleased to learn about the Green Street privy.
This receptacle for human defecation was discarded March 31, 2008 (which is when the above photo was taken, note Magic Johnson’s condominium craptacular rising in the background). It has resided on my block going on six days now.
With predictable results.
Looks like someone needs to call a plumber.
It has been awhile since I indulged my fixation for maltreated public pay phones. Today I will usher in the weekend with a few new finds from Williamsburg.
South 4th Street
I am quickly learning that this is a pretty common example of pay phone abuse, e.g; the receiver is broken into two pieces. I like to call these “danglers”.
The person responsible for this devious bit of pay phone chicanery has presented us with a poser. Those who are lucky enough to approach this pay phone from the north can quickly ascertain its lack of functionality. Everyone else is not so fortunate. Caveat emptor.
I am fascinated by the number of pay phones whose receivers are simply ripped off. Are these collectible? Is there an underground community of public pay phone receiver fetishists in New York City? If so, I hope they use plenty of disinfectant.
Speaking of prophylaxis, be sure to pack a little protection before you give this person a ring. From your cell phone, of course.
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
(Or, Greenpoint: 2, Philosophy Works: 0)
Shortly after writing this post I noticed Philosophy Works has seen fit to retool their advertising campaign.
And wouldn’t you know it, but some Crosstown local patron, marker in hand, was ready and waiting.
Anyone up for a little fillet of soul?
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Yes folks, it would appear that the unthinkable has indeed happened. After a full year of citations and $20,000 worth of fines (all which are unpaid, by the way) this building owner is finally making much-needed repairs to this building.
I don’t know about you, but I think a block party should be thrown after this (admittedly hilarious) eyesore is removed from the sidewalk.
Yesterday I had a epiphany. One of those fleeting moments when one stops what he (or she) is doing, takes a few steps back and asks him (or herself):
This is my life?!?
This moment came to pass while I was sorting through my rapidly expanding collection of substandard architecture for this week’s installment of Fedders Friday. I shit you not, this process took one full hour of my time. During which I found myself sizing up the virtues of one pile of prefab shit or another. Exasperated (and coming to the realization that I am in dire need of a vacation) I decided to showcase a couple of beauties from East Williamsburg. Here they are.
This thoroughfare is rapidly becoming a veritable Fedders paradise. Believe it or not, this is one of the more attractive offerings to be found here.
As you can see this building is lavishly appointed with all the luxury trimmings we have grown to expect in north Brooklyn: surveillance cameras, exposed gutters and, lest we forget, Fedders boxes.
It also sports a nice cement front yard from which one can contemplate the finer things in life, such as overflowing garbage cans.
I have been watching this monstrosity cutting edge piece of architecture with a mixture of horror, confusion and fascination for months.
I spent ten whole minutes trying to decipher the seemingly random placement of Fedders boxes on this wing. Then I came to the conclusion there are some mysteries in life one simply will never comprehend. As Donnie Rumsfeld so sagely stated:
There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.
Add to that: There are things we know we don’t want to know.
I wonder which street gang this chap is referring to? Crips or Bloods. Given the copious use of red brick on this building, I’m going to say Bloods.
Whoever they are, I am certain they will make their new neighbors feel right at home.
P.S.: I’d like to give a special Fedders Friday honorable mention to this property on Stockton Street.
Newly constructed homes for sale.
Make that a lot of newly constructed homes for sale.
It’s like a dream come true! Where’s the grass?