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From The New York Shitty Inbox: This Week At The Shit Tits
Pa Heather once told yours truly she had no ambition. I took issue with this at the time but in the cold, cruel clarity that is hindsight he was correct: I was lacking direction. This has since changed. I have found my happy place (that being Greenpoint, of course) and while living here I have discovered a manifold number of things which engage me. Among them: being the goodwill ambassador of and mascot for our beloved Waste Water Treatment Plant. More specifically: The Shit Tits. While this might not be everyone’s idea of “making it” in Greenpoint (or in New York City and at life for that matter) it is mine. Don’t shit on my dreams and I will not shit on yours.
I was not shit talking when I wrote my snow globe was progressing nicely. It is.
After no less than three attempts methinks I have it right this time around. The first prototype was simply too “busy”: too much shit in too little space. I realized a trifecta of turdiness was in order:
- One snow globe of a Shit Tit (as seen above in unfinished form)
- One snow globe of the Nature Walk (replete with a kayaker!)
- One snow globe of the Dupont Street sludge tank (for obvious reasons)
But back to the events at hand:
The Green Apple: Recycling
May 19, 2011 starting at 6:00 p.m.
The Newtown Creek Waste Water Treatment Visitors’ Center
329 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Unbottle Your Crafting Skills
May 21, 2011 starting at 11:00 a.m.
The Newtown Creek Waste Water Treatment Visitors’ Center
329 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
P.S. (and this goes out to the folks NYC Department of Environmental Protection): This is one of the best email exchanges I have had in ages. Please do not fire this person because of this post. It made my day!
THIS WEEK: Vollies Needed For Green Sweep Greenpoint
This item comes courtesy of the Greenpoint Business Alliance (of which, it should be noted, yours truly is a member!). We all know parts of the Garden Spot which are (sorely) in need of some sprucing up. Yours truly finds Dupont Street west of Franklin Street to be particularly offensive. If this kind of thing bothers you, gentle readers, as much as it does me and you want to lend a hand why not check out this meeting at the Red Star Bar? You can also volunteer via the email address listed on the above flier. Let’s make this happen!
Information Session Regarding Green Sweep Greenpoint
Wednesday, May 18, 2001 starting at 7:30 p.m.
Red Star Bar
37 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
Urban Fur: Lian Fa General Discount Store
Few things please yours truly more than making the acquaintance of a new shop cat. This stately lady is named BaiYu and she calls her place of business and pleasure Lian Fa General Discount Store!
Miss Heather
Spotted On Manhattan Avenue: Street Eats
Yes folks, it has happened again. True to form this culinary item was gone when I walked back by this afternoon. Hmm…
Miss Heather
TODAY: Be A Better Bad Dog
This item was brought to my attention by Jay Lombard of Dog Habitat. Today starting at 2:00 p.m. there will be a live reading of Bad Dog: A Love Story by its author Martin Kihn. For those of you who are wondering what this tome is about (as I have) here’s a description courtesy of Amazon:
??Meet Hola. She’s a nightmare, but it’s not her fault if she tackles strangers and chews on furniture, or if she runs after buses and fried chicken containers and drug dealers. No one ever told her not to. Worse yet, she scares her family. Hola may be the most beautiful Bernese mountain dog in the world, but she’s never been trained. At least not by anyone who knew what he was doing.
Hola’s supposed master, Marty, is a high-functioning alcoholic. A TV writer turned management consultant, Marty’s in debt and out of shape; he’s about to lose his job, and one day he emerges from a haze of peach-flavored vodka to find he’s on the verge of losing his wife, Gloria, too, if he can’t get his life—and his dog—under control.
Desperately trying to save his marriage, Marty throws himself headlong into the world of competitive dog training. Unfortunately, he knows even less than Hola, the only dog ever to be expelled from her puppy preschool twice. Somehow, together, they need to get through the American Kennel Club’s rigorous Canine Good Citizen test. Of course, Hola first needs to learn how to sit.
It won’t be easy. It certainly won’t be pretty. But maybe, just maybe, there will be cheesecake.
Afterward a puppy graduation and Q & A session are promised. Check it out!
Be A Better Bad Dog
May 14, 2011 (TODAY!) starting at 2:00 p.m.
Church of the Ascension
127 Kent Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Street Art du Jour: Elle
Special thanks go out the Sherry Wasserman for forwarding me this find!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Scratch-Off
Filed under: 11222, Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Fur
A Greenpointer takes his chance at the New York State lottery while Mimi looks on!
Miss Heather
Spotted On Manhattan Avenue: Mixology
It is a little known fact that yours truly has tried— and to date, failed— to create a cocktail honoring the Seine of north Brooklyn. Yes, I am talking about none other than Newtown Creek. What has kept holding me back is how to make such a concoction chartreuse in hue. Sure, absinthe would do in a pinch but that struck me as being too “up-market”.
I am pleased to announce that thanks to the magical place that is Manhattan Avenue I have had a break-through! Wanna make a “Newtown Creek”, cocktailians? I will show you the way:
- Take one four quart container of Peak brand anti-freeze.
- Add one pint of Pride & Clark brand vodka.
- Shake (don’t stir stir)
- Garnish with one Coney Island whitefish*
And *presto*, you’re ready to go…
to Woodhull, that is.
Miss Heather
*A used tampon or tampon applicator is also acceptable.
New York Shitty Slide Show du Jour: Old Meets New On Banker Street
I have long wondered— as I suspect a number of my fellow Greenpointers have— exactly what is up with this chap (who graces the premises of ABC Stone Trading on Banker Street).
After taking the above photograph this morning I found out! A very friendly employee of the ABC Stone invited me to view this rather nifty colossus for myself and the man behind it: Oriano Galloni. As his name suggests he hails from Italy as does his medium of choice: Carrera marble. Mr. Galloni was kind enough to show me his studio. Follows are some highlights. Enjoy!
It just goes to show that contrary to popular belief “old” and “new” Greenpoint can co-exist. In fact, they can help each other thrive! In closing, I will leave you with this video documenting Mr. Galloni’s show from last year.
In closing, I have been told he will be having an art opening this very evening! Why not swing by 234 Banker Street and see for yourself!
Miss Heather
P.S.: As always, you can (and should) views these images in larger format by clicking here.
NYS Flickr Pool
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