Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
The Shittiest Corner in North Brooklyn?
I have a confession to make: living in Greenpoint has made me pretty jaded when it comes to encountering mass quantities of dog shit. As I went for one of my infamous four hour walks earlier this week I was summarily jolted out of my torpor by the utter HORROR which awaited me at the above-depicted intersection.
This is Bushwick Avenue. When you turn the corner onto Melrose Street it doesn’t get much better.
Words fail me.
Miss Heather
‘Tis The Season: McGuinness Boulevard
What is this? Didn’t his spidey sense warn him that Mickey G’s is lined with dog poo? For shame, Spidey Claus, for shame.
Miss Heather
To Whom It May Concern
To the irresponsible dog owner who left their pooch’s “product” at the intersection McGuinness Boulevard and Green Street yesterday:
- Do you enjoy wallowing in your own/someone else’s feces?
- Do you like stepping in dog shit?
- Would you like it if I dropped a load on your shoes? (Think about this one: I eat A LOT of roughage.)
If your answer to any of the above questions is “no”: FUCK YOU.
Miss Heather
P.S.: I added a category for people like you today. It is called “Asshole”. You were the inspiration. Mazel Tov!
The Sprinkle Brigade Cometh!
I recently received a couple of emails notifying me that the Sprinkle Brigade is having an opening this Friday Thursday*, November 29th, right next door in Williamsburg! As you can imagine I am very excited about this event and want to pass along the deets to you, dear readers.
WHAT: The Sprinkle Brigade
WHERE: Riviera Gallery
103 Metropolitan Avenue Brooklyn, New York 11211
WHEN: November 29 – December 23, 2007 (no opening times are mentioned, but I suspect it’ll be roughly 7:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. November 29)
HOW (to get there): the Bedford Avenue stop of the L or the B61 bus
These folks are real maestros with merde. By all means check it out! To get in the proper state of mind beforehand be sure to check out the online “Gallery” on their web site or their blog.
Another show I have been meaning to mention is Luv-able & Hug-able at Gallery Hanahou. Here’s the scoop from their web site:
This holiday season, 28 of the world’s most innovative plush artists will stuff gallery hanahou full of the cutest, fuzziest, and strangest gifts around! The show will include toys from 9 popular Japanese plush artists, rarely seen outside of Japan and specially curated by renowned plush collector PAPANDA (Kazuyoshi Kitami). Prices will range from $12 to $1200 in this holiday show of original, handmade gifts, and all of the pieces in the show will also be available for viewing and purchase beginning November 8th (online sales start November 9th). Let a hug-able plush send a luv-able message to your special someone!
I have not made it to this exhibition yet— but I definitely plan to do so before it closes. Check out their flickr photo set and you will understand why: this stuff is insanely cool!
Gallery Hanahou
611 Broadway, Suite 730
New York, New York 10012
(646) 486-6586
To close on an artistic note, by buddy over at Icky in Brooklyn has a little project in the works that might be of interest to some of the more craftier people out there. He writes:
Attention all Brooklyn weavers, painters, potters, photographers, artists, and craftsfolk of all disciplines!
The holidays and shopping season is upon us, and fact is, being someone who hand-crafts, I like to support those who hand-craft. (Besides, I have stuff to sell.) Over the next few weeks, I will be creating a list of Brooklyn artists and craftsfolk, links and all.
Ideally we can make folks aware of how many artists (and of how many disciplines) we have here in Brooklyn, and perhaps we can bring each other a bit of business. It will be available here at Icky. A sort of “Brooklyn Holiday Handmade Gifts” list. Copying of the list and cross posting on your blog or website is encouraged! Let’s work together for the love of Pete.
Here’s the rules: Handmade or personally-produced art and craftswork only, and Brooklyn residents only. For instance, if you crochet baby blankets and you live in Bay Ridge, that’s fab. If you sell machine-knit sweaters from China and you live in West Orange, that’s a double strike-out (in more ways than one, I suppose).
Artists unite! If you’re someone who ought to be on the list, please leave a comment including your info, and I’ll create a post that will accrue items as they come in. Please include –
Your name (or business)
What you do (short description, a few words)
Website, Etsy address, whatever
Those of you who are interested in participating can contact Icky via his web site.
Miss Heather
Photo Credits: The Sprinkle Brigade & Gallery Hanahou
*Humor me, I am still recovering from Thanksgiving.
New York Shitty Gets a Theme Song!
My boss, knowing that I have certain *a-hem* eccentricities, sees fit to set aside items for me on occasion. While most of the time this entails homemade pornography he finds while opening boxes of stuff from estate sales and storage auctions, other times it pertains to my fecal fixation. So you can imagine my delight when I found the following waiting for me last Thursday.
Not wanting to bother my buddy Noel to burn it onto compact disc for me (he has enough problems right now) I hunted down a recording of it online. Give it a listen. It is quite entertaining.
Miss Heather
The Shit Crawler Strikes Back!
Some of you might remember I entered a competition last month entitled Art Ate New York. Well, the curators have curated. The judges are in the process of deciding upon a winner. But it has been determined by yours truly a long ago, win or lose, that sticking Jawas in scat is WHERE IT’S AT! My reasons for the previous assertion are numerous, but one of them is you get emails like the one I got yesterday from Artists Wanted.
Congratulations! You’ve made it to the final round for the Art Ate New York competition. Do you have higher res versions of your images? We are going to be making the final decision on the winner this week, but also want to show your images to some curators and magazine editors… Also, we’d like to show your images projected at our event (!!! —Ed. Note) scheduled for Friday, October 19th. 300 dpi 8×10 is great, but any higher res size will be good… Also, if you have a web site you use to promote yourself, send that address as well.
So there have you. Of course, what would the Shit Crawler have been without the rather sculptural pile of dog shit accompanying it? Whoever you are, inconsiderate Greenpoint dog owner, please accept this humble expression of my sincerest gratitude. I couldn’t have done it without you.
And your canine companion.
Those of you who wish to behold the glory that is the Greenpoint Shit Crawler (albeit in SoHo, not in situ) will have your chance next week:
Art Ate New York: Renegade Art Show
October 19, 7:00 p.m. – 1:00 a.m.
Red Bull Gallery
40 Thompson Street (at Broome), Manhattan
Miss Heather
The BARC Dog Parade Cometh!
I have been so busy preparing my costume* I almost forgot to remind everyone that BARC’s Dog Parade is next weekend. Being the fashion conscious woman I am, I even procured a very special accessory for the occasion.
Nothing says “I am a Greenpointer” better than donning a Gulf War issue gas mask.
Attendees and would-be marchers can get all the details about this upcoming event by clicking here.
Miss Heather
P.S.: What would a dog parade announcement be without a piquant pile of Greenpoint poop to go with it? From Kent Avenue (just south of Pop’s) I present to you…
Puffed for your Pleasure!
*This includes fashioning breast-gear resembling digester tanks from Greenpoint’s favorite waste treatment plant. I’ll be the 17th Ward’s very own Valkyrie!
A Turd’s Nest
Today I present to you an exquisite pile of poop from Jeremiah Moss, the proprietor of a very interesting blog called Vanishing New York. He writes:
i found this today near the corner of chrystie and delancey. i know it’s in manhattan, but it was just so perfect i had to send it in. i think it looks like an elegant little centerpiece.
I have to agree with him. There is something distinctly (and dare I say?) “stylish” about this turd’s nest. Perhaps the canine residents of the Lower East Side are gussying up their bowel movements to keep in step with gentrification? I bet Philip Starck is behind this.
Miss Heather
The Finger
Much has been made of the “Finger Building” of late, but what about its lesser known accomplice the “Finger Shit”? Well, I discovered it recently on 7th Street in the East Village.
The likeness is uncanny if you ask me. One for each pile driver. How appropriate!
Miss Heather
Return of the Shit Crawler
Yesterday I found a most exceptional pile of poop. After several weeks of paltry fecal offerings (diarrhea, mostly), it finally happened. The Garden Spot produced a bowel movement worthy of being called the “Dung of the Day”. This sculptural pile of poo also proved to be a perfect canvas on which to create my entry for Third Ward‘s Art Ate New York competition.
I rushed home to get my supplies. My husband was nowhere to be found. Thinking quickly, I called him on his cell phone.
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!?
I bellowed. “At the Black Rabbit.” he said. I should have known better; when all else fails the Mister can usually be located on a bar stool. “I found the PERFECT pile of shit for my project! HURRY UP AND FINISH YOUR COCKTAIL! I will be down there to get you in ten minutes. We need to act fast!”
Heart racing, I swung by the Black Rabbit and collected my husband. We made double time to the intersection of Noble Street and Manhattan Avenue (where the above merde morsel was located). I heaved an enormous sigh of relief when I discovered it was still there. Not wanting to waste any more time, I got right down to business. Soon enough, I had an audience.
A woman eating a tomato (whose curiosity was piqued by the sight of a blue-haired chick in a kilt crawling around on the sidewalk) approached. When she saw my creation she laughed— as did numerous onlookers. Save this guy.
Though clearly confused, he did nothing whatsoever to stop me. That’s what I love about Greenpoint: people leave you the fuck alone. Which is a good thing given that this, my latest opus, came out so smashingly it would have been a crime to interfere with its creation.
Looks like a stray droid is at large on Noble Street.
Much to the dismay and amusement of the local populace promenading along Manhattan Avenue. People who, amusingly enough, seemed to walk in single file. Perhaps to hide their numbers?
Miss Heather
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