From The New York Shitty Inbox: Live From The B43 Bus Stop

September 12, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11211, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn 

An anonymous tipster writes:

Hi Heather!

While waiting for the 43 at Graham & Grand, I noticed a man seemingly passed out across the street. And I called 911. While waiting for help, I noticed the guy coming to. Well, pictures speak louder than words

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Behold, the staredown of shame.

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Damn.

For those of you who are not in the know on top of this Polaroid moment a pair of Time Warner employees— in uniform— were spied engaging in oral sex on the premises of our very own Nature Walk. NOTE: there is a rather large Time Warner facility located next door to this park. I guess the company bathroom simply does not have the same je nais sais quoi. In any case, I suppose the upshot is some are, in fact, enjoying our “open spaces”. Albeit in a rather unconventional matter.

Sorry folks, no photos— at least not yet. What this couple may not be aware of (or perhaps they simply do not care) is there are surveillance cameras on the premises. This incident has been brought to the attention of the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee, to much amusement I’ll add. “NCMC” has, in turn, placed a request for said footage.* We’ll see. In any case those of you who seek porn should not pay a premium on cable, simply head over to the Nature Walk!

Naturally I had to make my tipster aware of this. To wit, he/she replied.

Awwww Heather. I just know there’s an exposed penis out there for you too. And I bet when you see it, it’ll be the longest one of all. 🙂

Awww. Thank you!

*In addition, removing the “no dogs” rules has been brought to the table. Dog owners should be pleased about this as there is no dog run hereabouts. Just don’t let Fido play in the creek, okay?

Quicklink: DNA.info

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I damned near shot beer out of my nose when I read this corker. I do not think I need to explain why: the first line of this tome pretty much says it all. Nonetheless, I do feel compelled to reiterate the “Schwick” is actually not located in Bushwick. It is in East Williamsburg. It would appear DNA.info is not the only one who has has made note of this.

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Uh oh.

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OUCH!

But of course we all know the “Bushwick” brand is much edgier— and by “edgier” I mean lucrative. So they’re gonna roll with it. Geography be damned! Hell, if even Vogue has jumped on the Bushwick bandwagon you know someone fearful of Boca Raton will make the journey to north Brooklyn’s “hinterlands”. What’s more, they’ll consider themselves “brave” for having had the experience.

The Shwick: It’s Bushwick, curated, so you do not have to deal with people outside your age group, race or class!

You know, the very folks who made this community worth visiting in the first place. Who wants that?

 

Quicklink: A Story To Tell

screencapThis tome was brought to my attention by a fellow named Richard. Richard is a resident of Lawrence, Kansas. This Letter to the Powers That Be, not surprisingly, pertains to matters in Lawrence, Kansas. However, while reading this tome more than one community hereabouts— and the non/not-for-profit organizations (which purport to act as a “voice”/”advocate” for the aforementioned communities) came to mind.  I do not think I need to list/name the previous here, gentle readers. We know them.*

Follows is an excerpt from this essay so as the pique your interest:

…I have been long in forming my opinion of the Cultural Arts District and the 9th Street Corridor.  When the pros and cons of the issue are laid across a scale, I find myself on the side of favor.  I am in support of the Cultural Arts District and 9th Street Corridor in East Lawrence.  I am excited at the prospect of renewal and repair that the Cultural District designation dollars can bring.  I want new sidewalks and safer lighting and renovated limestone curbs and bricks in my streets.  I want the businesses in my neighborhood to thrive and prosper and have the funds to reinvest in my community.  I want an economic base that can support an East Lawrence or Downtown grocery store. I want my daughters to grow up in a vibrant, thriving neighborhood that supports the arts and creativity.  I am personally invested in positive outcomes for the Cultural Arts District. 

And yet…

There remains a sense of unease when I think about what will happen as the Cultural Arts District and 9th Street Corridor develop.  I cannot shake the feeling of anxiety, of foreboding, of “ick” in my belly and bad smell wrinkle in my nose.  And this time, it isn’t a downdraft from the wastewater treatment plant (Emphasis mine— Ed. Note) or the river.  It’s the aftertaste of cultural co-option.  But what does that mean, you say?  I can’t explain it to you without the help of Alice Walker.  Here’s where the story comes in… 

You can— no, make that should— read this essay in its entirety by clicking here. Pass it along. Who knows? Maybe it’ll inspire someone (else) in our fair burgh/city to speak up?

*Hence why I found this excerpt of Adam “GWAPP Advisory Board”  Perlmutter’s biography so fascinating:

Adam is a currently lawyer for Develop Don’t Destroy Brooklyn opposing the Atlantic Yards project …

Speaking as a resident of Greenpoint for fourteen years now who knows quite a few bloggers— bloggers who have taken a keen interest in Atlantic Yards, no less— I have not once heard his name mentioned. What’s more, someone closely connected with DDDB confirmed my suspicions:

He isn’t in the employ and never was.  He volunteered with DDDB  about 9 years ago and helped them find their great lawyer Matt Brinckerhoff  – but he’s not done anything with them for about 7 years.

Hmm…

“About” seven years ago Mr. Perlumutter signed off on the by-laws of Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn.

Note the “Treasurer”. It is none other than Steve “Brooklyn Beer/I loves me some Atlantic Yards” Hindy himself.

Double hmm…

New York Shitty Street Art Du Jour: East Williamsburg Selections

July 22, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11206, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Street Art 

Enzo and Nio 1 NYS

I Heart NY nys

Lady Liberty NYS

Enzo and Nio Modified NYS

Lion nys

Enzo and Nio 2 nys

New Real Estate Oppportunity nys

Revolution Romance nys

Taken July 22, 2014.

The Word On The Street, Part III: White Street

White Street NYS

Taken July 22, 2014.

The Word On The Street, Part II: A Seigel Street PSA

Seigel Street PSA nys

The visual aides really make this one.

(Taken July 22, 2014.)

East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Seigel Street

Dont Get JumpedNYS

I saw a host of these flyers on/around White Street today. Be mindful of your surroundings folks…

East Williamsburg Street Art Du Jour: Swoon

Swoon 1 nys

Swoon 2 nys

Taken July 20, 2014.

New York Shitty Feral Furniture Watch: Special Evel Knievel Edition

Sofa ramp nys

Ramp nys

Sofa Cum Skateramp NYS

Signs of recreation as discovered during today’s sojourn in parts Bushwick and beyond. Yours truly can only wonder if this will be next…

New York Shitty Slideshow Du Jour: Newtown Creek Boat Ride

Motorboat Repair NYS

Last weekend, thanks to City of Water Day, I decide to take a (FREE!) boat tour of the creek hosted by the inimitable Mitch Waxman.  As has been the case in times past (this makes my third sojourn up to the creek), it did not disappoint. Not only did I bear witness to a fellow catching a little shut-eye at our very own Nature Walk, but I learned an interesting fact shortly after the above photo (which hails from the Long Island City side of Newtown Creek) was taken. Our fair creek is not just host to Typhus, but also Cholera and Gonorrhea. If this isn’t a trifecta of fun, I honestly do not know what is. I feel compelled to note that this fact was rolled out after a fellow tour goer was observed balancing his child on the rail of the boat so as to take photos with his smart phone. You can’t make this shit up.

In any case, follows are some highlights of my trip to, from and up the creek.* I have even included a photo of a CSO (Concentrated Sewage Overflow) for your late afternoon/early evening entertainment. Enjoy!

*A task which involved going to Governor’s Island. This was rendered more complicated by the fact Greenpoint still remains without ferry service.

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