Calling All Shittites: Contributors & Tips Wanted

mrpoopyheadthumbNow that my life has resumed some sense of normalcy (or at least as close as it gets with yours truly) I can finally get around to doing a few things I’ve been meaing to do but have gotten lost in the shuffle. Soliciting tips and contributors is foremost among these things.

Over the last few months I have increasingly come to the opinion that New York Shitty would be augmented with the addition of some other, new “voices”. Recent events (such as the untimely passing of Bob Guskind and the impending demise of the Greenpoint Courier) and my growing acceptance of the fact that I am only one person have made me realize that expanding the content on this site and providing a large forum are much more important than I had previously thought.

So here’s the deal: if you are interested in being a contributor to this site please email me at missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. But before closing this post I would like to make my criteria/preferences/”plan” known:

1. I do not consider New York Shitty to be exclusively a “place blog”. However, there are some geographical areas I tend to focus on more than others: Greenpoint (obviously), Williamsburg, East Williamsburg, Bushwick, southwestern Queens and to a more limited extent: Bedford Stuyvesant and the East Village. Here’s a map to give you a general idea of what/where I am talking about.

nysmap

The previous having been written I want to make it clear that I am open to material from outside this area. I simply do not want it to override the north Brooklyn-centric nature of this site.

2. What kind of content am I looking for? I’m pretty open to suggestions. One thing I would really like to have happen is feature an adoptable pet once a week. If this sounds like something you are interested in doing, let me know. Otherwise I want to make it clear what I do not want: schmaltz. If you are going to write about your children it better be fucking good. Family Circus (and its ilk) put me in a blind rage. It also goes without saying that racist, sexist, classist, anti-Semitic, homophobic material, etc.— in other words hate speech— will not be published.

3. What’s in it for me? New York Shitty is not a for profit site, therefore I cannot afford to pay you. However, plans to convert this site (along with a redesign!) are in the works. So perhaps some day compensation will be involved. For the time being, however, a little publicity and/or link love is all I can offer.

4. Please be literate.

5. Unless you have sustained a serious brain injury or have multiple personalities please refer to yourself in the first person. Which brings me to my final point…

6. Please do not be insane. The world wide web has enough crazy people posting crazed missives on it already. I have no intention of adding to this problem.

This is pretty much all I can think of. I want to leave the possibilities for this site as open as possible.

Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.

Miss Heather

Map Image Credit: Google Maps

Reader Participation Time: Snarkitecture

March 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization, Long Island City, Queens 

The Mister and I do not make it to Long Island City as much as we used to. There are a number of reasons for this. Among them:

  1. The weather. It’s been too cold to venture out.
  2. We have taken to going to Sunnyside and Jackson Heights instead. This is because…
  3. quite frankly we find Long Island City kind of depressing.

Ever since they demolished that beautiful old building at 10-62 Jackson Avenue and replaced it with a shiv-like structure we cannot cross the Pulaski Bridge without wincing. Luckily we had a craving for Italian food this weekend and decided to go to Manettas. As we made our way down the bridge we were presented with a most unexpected treat: 49-16 11 Street.

11street1

This stunning example of Strip Mall Italian (replete with a Donald Judd-esque elevator shaft) sent us into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

11street2

Where do you start with this? Hell, where do you finish for that matter?

11street3

For starters you have the lovely Juliet style balconies overlooking the on ramp of the Pulaski Bridge.

11street4

Just a beer bottle’s throw away from traffic (and perhaps the odd pedestrian or bicyclist).

11street5

Some attempt at symmetry has been made… but not quite enough. I christen this daring new style Art Sucko.

11street6rev

But no expense has been spared on Friedrichs boxes. This is a good thing. When the dull roar of truck traffic (at all hours) gets to be too much for our intrepid 49-16ers they can crank up the air conditioner to drown out the din.

11street7

The last time I saw something with this many studs on it was in the West Village. (WARNING: previous link is NSFW.)

No matter how hard I try my wit, gift for gab, whatever-you-want-to-call-it is not doing this stellar example of Fedderism justice. To this end I need your help. Although I realize this has been done before I am proposing the following: you, dear readers, tender LOL speak captions for this masterpiece. These can be left in the comments below or sent via email at: missheather (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com.

If I like what I see I’ll publish the pick of the litter right here on New York Shitty later this week.

Your immediate attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.

Happy snarking!

Miss Heather

Long Island City Photos Du Jour: A Trip To Grandma’s House

March 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Long Island City, Queens 

51ave1

venus

stuffwithgreenman

gilda

mime

grandmashouse

cherubbondage

From 51st Avenue.

Miss Heather

NOTEWORTHY: Somewhere In Queens

February 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Astoria, Clinton Hill, Ft. Greene, Long Island City, Queens, Sunnyside 

xdoobiex (the gentleman who tipped me off to the following item writes):

…first,  this is a little promotion for my friend.. i am not sure if you want to post it.. but he needs exposure… see attachment…

queensflyer

Granted, this is still a little ways off. But I am very excited about checking out this show (which, amusingly enough, is located in in the county of Kings).

Somewhere In Queens, Alex Segreti
Opening Reception: March 9, 2009 6:00 – 9:00 p.m.
Pratt Institute Media Arts Gallery
Steuben Hall, 3rd Floor
200 Willoughby Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11205

Miss Heather

Morning Photos Du Jour: Shadows

February 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Queens, Williamsburg 

bikeonleonard

Leonard Street, Greenpoint.

boxfactory2

Meserole Avenue, Greenpoint.

driggs1

driggs2

Driggs Avenue, Williamsburg.

firstward

Jackson Avenue, Long Island City.

Miss Heather

Call For Entries

February 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Williamsburg 

call-for-entry

This item comes courtesy of a lady named Diana. She writes:

Inspiration and Interpretation’ is a juried show looking for ceramic work along with the initial inspiration (sketch, photograph or an object).  A one-of-a-kind opportunity to showcase the process by highlighting the inspiration and exhibiting its interpretation.  The show will feature both the inspiration as well as the work that was produced.

To get the application form and guidelines point and click your way over to Clay Space 1205’s web site (the application can be found at the bottom left hand corner). Top three artists will be invited back to the gallery for a three person show at a later date. NOTE: all entries must be received by March 13th, 2009.

Good luck!

Miss Heather

Subway Video Du Jour: The G Train Strut

February 24, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Queens 

As mentioned in this post, the Mister and I ventured to Long Island City for dinner last weekend. It was delicious (La Vuelta has yet to disappoint). But as with all things in life— be they good or bad— our evening came to an end. We needed to go home. This of course entailed taking the Crosstown Local. The G train. The “Gee, where is it”? The “Go nowhere” train. Call it what thou whilst.

Unlike many I do not take issue with the Crosstown’s lack of punctuality. In fact I am grateful for it’s zen-like service as it has worked wonders for taming my Type A personality. I was once an impatient and impetuous public transportation novice but the Jedi masters behind this line have seen fit to teach me a most valuable gift: patience. I take things a little slower and savor the little things in life nowadays. Like this guy.

(TIP: listen to “Jimmy James” or “No Sleep Til Brooklyn” by the Beastie Boys while watching the following.)

The Mister could not understand my fascination with this chap. He wanted to get home fast and was upset I was lagging behind. It ended up making no difference: shortly after this chap descended the stairwell our train was ready to go. It was as if the G waiting for him (and maybe it was— after all, this dude is cool beyond compare).

It just goes to show that some of us bear no shame whatsoever for being patrons of the Crosstown Local. Sure, we pretty much have to transfer to get anywhere— but it also gives us the opportunity to hold our heads up and roll out a most badass strut.

Bravo!

Miss Heather

Long Island City Photo Du Jour: Final Exit

February 23, 2009 ·
Filed under: Long Island City, Queens 

final-exit

From 44th Drive.

Miss Heather

Long Island City Photo Du Jour: Baracked?

February 21, 2009 ·
Filed under: Long Island City, Queens 

everlast

The Mister and I passed this tonight while walking to La Vuelta* for dinner. I say it’s Barack Obama. He says it isn’t. Draw your own conclusions.

Miss Heather

*Who, it should be mentioned, DOES deliver to Greenpoint!

Citypoint Photos Du Jour: From Newtown Creek With Love

February 7, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Newtown Creek 

redpoint2nys1

redpointnys1

From north Brooklyn’s (or southwestern Queens’s) Seine.

When I look westward to Manhattan I do not see a pretty skyline. Rather, I envision an infinite number of bowel movements, vomit and detritus that will soon find their way two blocks from my home.

Stand up and be counted, Greenpoint, for the shit you are about to receive!

Nobel prize winners, diplomats— PRESIDENTS— and Joey Arak* have graced my neighborhood with the by-products of their respective genius. Maybe I’ll pick up a fraction of their gifts via schnozmosis? I can only hope so. It’s been especially stanktastic of late.

The bigger the stench = the bigger the brain?

Miss Heather

*This is not necessarily sarcasm.

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