Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
More McGuinness Merde
The first thought that crossed my mind when I saw these piles of puddin’ was “Gee, whoever passed this bowel movement wasn’t feeling well.”
The next thought that crossed my mind was “HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET OUT OF MY REFRIGERATOR!?! GO HOME!!!“.
Miss Heather
P.S.: You know, the apocalypse would never get enough traction to start in Greenpoint. No one would even notice.
P.S.#2: Anyone remember when someone found a rocket launcher on the Greenpoint side of the Pulaski Bridge several years ago? That was the talk of the town for weeks, yet I cannot find a single story about it online. Hmm…
The Pay Phones of Greenpoint
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Yesterday I found an injured pay phone that stand head(less) and shoulders above its peers.
The duct tape is a nice touch. Given the propensity most people have for talking at each other nowadays, this device may very well be cutting edge technology. It is certainly a must-have for CB enthusiasts. 10-4.
Another pay phone I found of interest is located on McGuinness Boulevard.
Gravity isn’t what’s keeping that Dunkin Donuts napkin on the receiver. It’s adhered to it.
Miss Heather
Anyone want a vermin-free couch?
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
If so, head over to Greenpoint Avenue (between Manhattan Avenue and McGuinness Boulevard) and pick it up.
On top of being 100% free (no cash money required), it also purports to be bereft of bedbugs. WHAT A DEAL!
Miss Heather
Specs For the Upcoming Fundraiser at the Greenpoint Public Library
Filed under: Area 51
As I promised in this post, here they are:
THE GREENPOINT 100 is a small works show and art benefit for the Greenpoint branch of the Brooklyn Public Library, where all the work will be sold to benefit the branch’s programs. We’re looking for artists who live or work in GREENPOINT, BROOKLYN, to donate work- it’s a very worthwhile cause, and as added incentive we’re bringing in some great gallerists and critics to jury the show and award a cash prize, so it’s great exposure for artists who do decide to donate.
CALL FOR ARTISTS:
The Greenpoint 100: Friends of the Greenpoint Library Artists’ Benefit
September 15th, 2007 11:00am – 2:30pm
Brooklyn Public Library Greenpoint Branch
107 Norman Avenue at Leonard Street, Brooklyn NY 11222The Friends of the Brooklyn Public Library’s Greenpoint Branch invites 100 Greenpoint artists to participate in a juried, one-day exhibition of small works which will be sold to benefit the branch. This is a worthwhile opportunity for our local emerging artists to display their work and have it reviewed by arts professionals. The proceeds from the sale will be used for community-requested improvements like children’s area maintenance, as well as the acquisition of much-needed, up-to-date new materials.
Grand Prize: $100 cash
(2) Runner-up prizes: to be announcedJurors:
Leah Stuhltrager: Founder and co-director, Dam Stuhltrager Gallery – Dam Stuhltrager, founded in 1998, is an original charter member of the Williamsburg Gallery Association and one of the most ascendant galleries in the area. Its artists have been featured in major
exhibitions including Art Basel, Contemporary Istanbul, and the Museum of Art and Design. Dam Stuhltrager has had extensive coverage in both mainstream and contemporary art publications such as Artforum, NPR, The Village Voice, Rhizome.org and Esquire.James Wagner and Barry Hoggard: Critics, curators and editors of ArtCal (www.ArtCal.net) – Well-respected art and political bloggers James Wagner (jameswagner.com) and Barry Hoggard (bloggy.com) publish ArtCal, an unabashedly opinionated openings and exhibitions guide focusing on underknown galleries and artists. James and Barry are often integral to the exposure of new talent and have been featured in Art and America, ArtKrush, The Brooklyn Rail, Art+Auction, and more.
SUBMISSION PROCEDURES:
As we are focusing on the community, *YOU MUST BE AN ARTIST LIVING OR WORKING IN GREENPOINT* to participate. There is no fee to submit, however please be aware that your work is a donation to raise funds for the library.
We are looking for 2-dimensional works in all mediums (MAX SIZE 11×14 inches), and some small freestanding sculpture. All work will be sold for $25 each.
WE ARE ONLY ACCEPTING THE FIRST 100 ARTISTS WHO MEET THE CRITERIA, so soon as possible, please email us your:
NAME
ADDRESS
EMAIL ADDRESS
PHONE NUMBER
and a small jpeg of the work, (or a similar representative work if you plan on making a specific piece for the sale)EMAIL CONTACT INFORMATION AND JPEG TO: friendsofthegreenpointlibrary (at) gmail.com
– If you are one of the first 100 qualified artists to respond to the call, you will receive a reply with an ID number from 1-100, and the address of where your work must be mailed or delivered.
– Your work must be labeled on the back (or bottom of sculptures) with your ID number and contact information.
– Accepted artists’ work must be received by FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 14th to be included in the exhibit.
– All unsold work must be picked up in person at the close of the event, by 3pm on Saturday, September 15th.
– Although the utmost care will be taken with the pieces on exhibit, The Brooklyn Public Library and the Friends Group will not be held responsible for the damage to, or loss of, any artwork donated to the branch and/or remaining on the premises after the event.
Good Luck!
Miss Heather
UPDATE: In case you are wondering, I have submitted something and it was accepted (I’m number 39). Wanna know what it is? If so, click here.
The Sensuous Greenpointer
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Although I do my most to keep away from the following locality, I would like to tender my sincerest condolences to the fine people of Park Slope regarding the loss of Maggie Moo’s. One woman’s (READ: MY) vision of a brightly lit (and very hot) crotchling-ridden hellhole is another woman’s paradise.
If it’s any consolation, the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory over on Commercial Street has yet to open— much to the consternation of my ice cream-craving taste buds. Good thing we have The Corner Frenzy on Huron Street (which is quite delicious and affordable, by the way). But I digress…
Every cloud has a silver brown lining… and sometimes it is quite delicious! As I discovered on West Street today.
Keep a stiff upper lip my fellow Brooklynites to the south! You may have lost your ice cream venue of choice, but chocolate topping can be poured on other things. Use your imagination.
But please use protection, the last thing your ‘hood needs is more fucking strollers.
Miss Heather
If anyone from the Department of Buildings is reading this…
Filed under: Area 51
You might want to go down to 48 Box Street because despite having multiple Stop Work Orders, they are (as of 1:00 p.m. today) working.
These are workers.
This is a worker standing precariously close to a ledge six stories up in the air. Personally this strikes me as being a little dangerous, but I guess this would be small potatoes to a contractor/developer who has been cited for:
Miss Heather
P.S.: I am still awaiting an answer from you regarding Belvedere Realty’s advertecture at 609 Manhattan Avenue. Perhaps the reason you let this eyesore persist in pissing me off is the same reason you see fit to issue their site at 150 Java Street variances permitting them to work Saturdays despite repeat complaints from their neighbors about their less-than-professional conduct?
154 West Street: FEDDERIZED!
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization
I walked by this house last Sunday and was instantly transported to the south of France…
Then the din of weekend construction jolted me back to reality. I am not in Marseilles: I am in Greenpoint. Slather this bitch with some stucco and the process of Fedderization will be complete!
Cast concrete. Yummy.
I wonder if they’ll be working this (holiday) weekend as well? I can hardly wait to swing by and find out! I’ll be sure to bring along my trusty camera as well…
Miss Heather
For Greenpointers Only!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I found this flyer on Franklin Street last night. I have since sent an email requesting the submission requirements; when I receive them I will post them on here New York Shitty. So those of you who are interested should starting thinking about what you are going to enter! I have already decided which piece I am going to submit. When most of your oeuvre is considered obscene (by most people) the decision-making process becomes pretty simple.
Miss Heather
The Greenpoint Hotel, Part III
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Let’s review. So far we have learned:
- The delightful place we call the Greenpoint Hotel was once known as the Edwards Hotel.
- Not unlike its current incarnation, the Edwards Hotel was a shit hole where…
- one could find himself being chloroformed and robbed on a New Year’s morning or
- one could find him/herself invited to a hitherto unplanned meeting with his maker. Possibly with a little help from the wife of the proprietor, the ever-delightful Mrs. Edwards.
Conclusion: this was not and is not a nice place. What’s more, you needn’t check into this roach motel to check out of this mortal coil. Merely standing in front of this establishment will suffice, as I learned from the November 6, 1921 edition of the New York Times.
And this, my friends, completes the trio of Greenpoint Hotel goodness I have culled from newspaper archives for your reading pleasure. What will next week’s installment of Greenpoint glory from the days of yore be? Even I don’t know the answer to this question…
YET!
Miss Heather
Something For All The Ladies in The House…
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I found the above item at work recently. Once I determined what it was (a pair of swimming trunks) I IMMEDIATELY placed it behind the counter. Such a piece of apparel is unfit for Greenpoint consumption. No one— and I mean NO ONE who lives in the Garden Spot should be allowed to wear this. In fact, I am not even going to place it in the dumpster when I throw it away. To do so would assure that I will see them gracing some disgusting old homeless man’s ASS the next day. *shudder*
Yup folks, if you’re looking for the kind of man who can wear a pair of aqua blue Versace trunks and retain so much as a solitary ounce of dignity go somewhere else. You ain’t gonna find him here. As my gal pal Lisa over at Found in Brooklyn recently opined:
GP (Greenpoint) will have a serious influx of the type of people if you are like me you will despise…. I think the word yuppie is due for a comeback in a big way, but now they disguise themselves as “hipsters” which makes it even more rage inducing….
How very true. So I emailed her back and told her:
It’s happening alright. There used to be good eye candy here, you know. Now all you have are filthy hipsters (seriously they SMELL BAD) and those chaps. Last weekend I was relegated to chatting up a rockabilly dyke at the local record store. The only cute (and CLEAN) men left here are not men at all. They’re women.
I’m not trying put the moves on anyone or anything, but c’mon.
Sadly, most of the good looking men who graced my corner of the Garden Spot have long since left. Thankfully, I found the following piece of promotional material this weekend and it consoled me in my state of loss.
I do not profess to read or speak Polish. However, the above item does not require such literacy: it communicates via the International language of “Himbo”.
I am seriously tempted to attend this event. While not usually my kind of thing, the prospect of watching a horde of horny Polish broads ogling male exotic dancers strikes me as being too hilarious to miss.
Miss Heather
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