Public Service Announcement: Upcoming Bedbug Seminar

January 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Vermin of Satan

Though this is a ways off, I want to pass along that a bedbug workshop will be conducted March 12 from 6:00 – 8:00 p.m. at the Hope Gardens Center in Bushwick.

Hope Gardens Center
195 Linden Street
Brooklyn, New York 11221
To R.S.V.P.: 212-863-8830

In addition, I have learned you can request that a bedbug seminar be conducted in your neighborhood by calling 311*. I would strongly advise each and every Greenpointer (infested or otherwise) who is reading this post to call and request a meeting be conducted right here in The Garden Spot. This situation effects all of us and the more knowledge we have about how to fight these “vermin of Satan” the better.

My bedroom is now a closet

I do not want to this to happen to me. I’m making the call. How about you?

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Chintamani

*I just tried this and got the run-around. More to follow.

GWAPP Town Hall Meeting

January 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Waterfront Access Plan

I would like to thank any and all New York Shitty readers who slogged through last night’s delightful weather to attend GWAPP’s Town Hall Meeting. I certainly learned a lot and I hope you did as well. In particular, I was pleased as punch to learn that some of the funds from the $50 million gift Michael Bloomberg has given to refurbish the McCarren Park pool will be allocated towards new public lavatories.

That said, I hope those of you came away as interested in the future park space planned for Greenpoint’s waterfront as I was. For those of you who were unable to attend this event, I will be featuring highlights over the next several days so you can get up to speed!

Miss Heather

Bushwick Photo de Jour: Bushwick Avenue

January 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic 

Stay with them for life…

It should be noted that shortly after taking the above photo I found the following anatomical rendering just down the street at on P.S. 147.

Pee Pee at PS 147

And they say our public education system is failing!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Back on Green Street we Greenpointers have taken up animal husbandry.

Elephant Love on Green Street

No wonder parents are wiling to lie, cheat and steal to get into our public schools.

Greenpoint Photo de Jour: Moon Over McGuinness

January 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Moon Over McGuinness

I love this yellow car.

Miss Heather

Great Moments in Crapitecture: 11 Ditmars Street

January 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization, Bushwick 

As I was walking down Broadway yesterday something caught my eye. It’s sheer crapitutude even impressed my jaded eye. Here it is.

11 Ditmars Street

Nice fence “Dutchy Construction“! It looks like it was constructed after passing a few “dutchies”. The rope is a nice touch.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Per the Department of Buildings this Bushwick chalet is going to be a two-family building. Um, okay.

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Cook Street

January 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

I found this terrific mural on Cook Street (just east of Graham Avenue) this week.

Cook Street Mural

Why the agricultural imagery you ask? A farmer’s market is conducted on Cook Street between Graham Avenue and Humboldt Street (P.S. 257) from July to October.

When I got home I later I realized the farmer in this mural reminded me of someone. It took me awhile, but I was finally able to figure out who it was: our nation’s fearless leader.

Cornholio

Maybe it is the idiotic look on his face? Or it has something to do with his repeated corn-holing of this country (and our civil rights) for the last seven years?

Miss Heather

Disclaimer: This is satire. No offense is intended towards:

  1. the participants in
  2. organizers of
  3. corn cobs sold at

the Graham Avenue Farmer’s Market.

Recreation, Greenpoint Style

January 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yesterday I strolled down McGuinness Boulevard and, true to form, it did not disappoint.

Do not bounce beer kegs

I found this sign posted outside the Pit Stop bar. Keg bouncing: I like the sound of that! If baseball is “America’s Game” and Scotland’s sport of choice is caber tossing, why can’t we Greenpointers enjoy a little keg bouncing? Who knows, it might just catch on! (In any case, it certainly sounds a lot nicer than “pig in the bag“.)

Anyone up for starting a keg bouncing league?

Miss Heather

Great Moments in Construction Safety: Montrose Avenue

January 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

When I glanced around the corner (from Bushwick Avenue to Bushwick Place) I suspected something wasn’t right. Upon closer inspection my suspicions were confirmed.

Montrose Avenue Special

I did not have Hard Hat Hannah at my side (she is convalescing at an undisclosed location— more details to follow), but I know enough to intuit this is not proper construction safety. There were no permits posted, yet I noticed a bit of yellow paper was affixed to the front door. Let’s go in for a closer look, shall we?

Notice

It’s a hearing notice from the Department of Buildings! Clearly the owner of this building has taken note.

And has seen fit to continue working.

Miss Heather

Sucko in Stucco

January 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

One of the greatest pleasures I derive from New York Shitty is the numerous witty and pithy comments I have the pleasure of moderating. This is because I envision his web site as being a two-way street. Its purpose is not solely to toss out missives into the abyss of the Internet; rather, I want people (be they Greenpointers or otherwise) to communicate. With each other and me.

That said, a commenter named “Rexlic” recently reminded me of a wonderful movie by the Marx Brothers called Cocoanuts. For those of you who are not familiar with this film here is the premise via IMDB:

Mr. Hammer (Groucho Marx —Ed. Note) runs a bankrupt Florida hotel. He’ll try anything to make money, even make love to rich Mrs. Potter. But his main scheme, selling real estate, is in danger of sabotage from zanies Chico and Harpo, who also reduce the schemes of a pair of jewel thieves to chaos…

The following choice specimens of north Brooklyn stucco abuse (and very bad taste) are dedicated to “Rexlic” and the brothers Marx. First up, check out this beauty on Conselyea Street.

116 Conselyea Street

You can have any kind of a home you want. You can even get stucco.

More Stucco at 116 Conselyea

Oh, how you can get stucco.

Representing Greenpoint, we have this beauty on Meeker Avenue!

Meeker Avenue Turd

Those of you who are familiar with this area (Meeker Avenue west of North Henry Street) can attest to the many amenities this location affords:

  1. Scenic views of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway.
  2. UNeasy access to public transportation (unless you like to hitchhike) and other essentials such as grocery stores, laundromats and the like.
  3. The distinction of living in the most crime-ridden section of the 94th Precinct!

But all the previous are trivialities. Who cares about practicality when he or she can enjoy

…the most exclusive residential district in Florida Greenpoint East Williamsburg. Nobody lives there.

Miss Heather

A Sign in the Stuy

January 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic 

Today I am honored to share my very first piece of dog shit signage from none other than Bedford-Stuyvesant! My tipster writes:

I saw this stenciled plea at the corner of Willoughby and Walworth and thought of you.

Pick up their shit

Unfortunately, as the second pic reveals, the call has gone unheeded (see near green patch, lower left).

Their Shit

Ah well, there’s plenty else to love about Bed Stuy.
Heh.

Regards,
Erin

This looks a lot like a series of missives I found inscribed around a tree pit on Franklin Street a couple months ago.

Don’t pollute our tree

I can attest that (to date) these admonitions appear to be working. Maybe it is the color?

Miss Heather

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