Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Studio B: It Just Keeps Getting More Interesting
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Yesterday evening I received a provocative email from a tipster. If its contents are to be trusted it would appear that Studio B has more than just an out-of-date Certificate of Occupancy and a Stop Work Order* to contend with:
…the fact that any PA (Public Assembly — Ed. Note.) over 300 people requires, by law, a fire protection plan to be approved by the DOB and the FD. They have not filed one.
Whoops.
I suspect New York’s Bravest will be less than pleased when they get wind of this.
Miss Heather
*Which I have heard they promptly violated by working last weekend.
Phillip Hits The Silver Screen!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I was forwarded this preview of a short film written by and starring none other than the Greenpoint legend himself: Phillip! For those of you who are not in the know, he is not only the most stylish citizen the Garden Spot has to offer, but he is also a very talented poet and all-around nice guy.
I can hardly wait to see this film in its entirety. Check it out!
Miss Heather
Happy Construction Safety Week From New York Shitty!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
After taking a weekend off (even puppets need a break, folks!), Hannah is pumped for Construction Safety Week. I admonished her that such stuff is a hit and miss proposition here. In other words, prepare for the worst.
CASE IN POINT: 1000 Manhattan Avenue
After being hit with $20,000 in fines (all of which are unpaid*) the ostensible owner of this building, one Carol Caputo (et. al.) has seen fit to remedy her/their leaning tower of piss.
On a weekend, no less. This photograph was taken Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 1:00 p.m.
Good thing this chap did his high wire act before Construction Safety Week. He might have gotten busted!
Miss Heather
*Or unenforced.
Studio B: The Drama Continues
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Yes, it would appear that Studio B has been hit with a Stop Work Order.
April 21, 2008 to be precise.
For doing work they had no permission to do. That’s pretty much the par for the course here in Greenpoint. Do as thou whilst. What bothers me more than anything is this establishment was cited by the Department of Buildings for packing 650+ people in a space deemed safe for 461.
This gig (from January of this year) looks pretty packed. This photo comes courtesy of Studio B’s myspace page. I highly recommend checking this out— especially if you want to see a lot of posturing, guy liner and glassy eyes. Studio B has ’em all! 461+!
When Studio B gets that rooftop terrace done (permits be damned and they are well on their way, palm trees and all), there’ll be even more…
- People
- Noise
- Litter
- Fighting
And lest we forget: overcrowding.
If Studio B is permitted to allow, say 200 more people, how many patrons will actually occupy said premises? 700? 800? More?
Let’s face facts: their track record is pretty spotty. At best. They’re out to make a buck. More people = more money.
If the new (interim) Czar of the Department of Buildings* wants to make an example of someone in the Garden Spot I cannot think of a better establishment than Studio B.
Especially since their web site intimates they anticipate more capacity soon.
Intransigence, arrogance, chutzpah, hubris and/or graft, take your pick.
Miss Heather
*Or the F.D.N.Y.
Lost Dog: Manhattan Avenue
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
As you can see the details are scant regarding this misplaced puppy, but if you have seen him (or her) please contact its owner at the above phone number.
Miss Heather
202 Franklin Street Gets Served
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
a court summons, that is.
Anyone who has lived in north Greenpoint for any appreciable period of time is familiar with this building. The tenants were driven out by a fire several years ago and despite a succession of different owners, the repairs needed to enable these people to move back home have never been done.
From what I could deduce from the court papers, they are petitioning the court for a 7A administrator. In nutshell, a 7A administrator is a “superintendent” assigned by the court to do repairs in cases of severe landlord neglect. Given the inexcusable situation at 202 Franklin, I see no reason why a reasonable judge (or an unreasonable one with an iota of compassion) would decline their request.
I wish the people of 202 Franklin the best of luck in court and hope they can call this building home again soon.
Miss Heather
Vollies Wanted: Bed Bug Workshop
Here’s a taste of New York Shitty’s Kafkaesque bureaucracy for you: HPD agrees to raise awareness about bed bugs in Greenpoint March 6, 2008. The Greenpoint Reformed Church is the venue, the date is set: May 6, 2008. The city provides the above dorky (and copy-edited by yours truly because it had typos) flier. In English.
Problem: Not everyone in Greenpoint speaks English.
We have Spanish fliers, we have English fliers. What we don’t have are Polish fliers. Apparently the city needs 60 days to turn around that kind of thing. Do the math. This puts my buddy Ann (at the Greenpoint Reformed Church) in a position. The purpose of this post is two-fold:
- We need people to distribute fliers in Williamsburg, Greenpoint and Long Island City.
- We need someone to transcribe (READ: do data entry) this flier into Polish. The city (in its intransigence) won’t do it, so we will!
Anyone who is interested in helping out can contact the head honcha for this project— the inimitable Ann Kansfield— at:
ann (at) greenpointchurch (dot) org
Miss Heather
Great Moments In Real Estate Rhetoric: “The Village”
Any resident of this area can tell you how laughably bad this advertisement is:
- Luxury lofts + village (sans idiot) + north Brooklyn = laughable
- These “luxury lofts” are located nowhere near the heart of anything. They are located south of the BQE in that disorienting no man’s land that downzoning forgot.
- In other words, this building is located in Greenpoint
But who cares about semantics! Let’s take a closer look at this “village” shall we?
Here’s a view of Richardson Street looking westward. Those quaint 8+ story tall buildings are condominiums.
Here’s a shot of Monitor Street. This street was named after the U.S.S. Monitor which was launched in Greenpoint. Lest any of you are wondering why the above row of edifices is punctuated, a two story house (AKA: “The Monitor Street Sandwich”) is to blame. I wonder how this petite chateau is faring? Let’s go in for a closer look!
Welcome to the village Greenpoint, FUCKS.
Miss Heather
FUCKING PHOTO CREDITS: Signage by Lisacat
NYS Flickr Pool
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