A New York Shitty Public Service Announcement: Lose Something?

If the above-depicted item belongs to you might want to swing by the intersection of Diamond Street and Meserole Avenue and pick it up before the local constabulary does. It is located directly across the street from Cafe Grumpy.*

Miss Heather

*To answer the question before you ask it: No, I did not take this bag of fun. As a general rule I do not consume items I find on the street in Greenpoint. To date there has been one notable exception to this practice: 7-8 years ago my buddy Rachael and I found a magnum of champagne inexplicably left in the street at the intersection of Guernsey and Meserole Avenue. After we ascertained the wrapper was intact (and deduced it was left for us by Greenpoint drinking gnomes or some disgruntled Post Office employee) we took it home and consumed it. It was a little flat, but hey, it was free! Ah, memories…

P.S.: You know the ‘nabe is really getting tony when you find baggies of grass this size gracing your sidewalks! Cheech and Chong would be proud!

P.S. #2: This post goes out to the very special Greenpointer who dropped by my place of employment this afternoon so as to give me a business card and request I call him/her lest I ever find anything of this nature near Cafe Grumpy— or anywhere— again.