New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Zen Street

March 29, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, The Word On The Street, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

From Marcy Avenue.

New York Shitty Day Starter: Dispatch From The Transportation Committee Meeting

I did not attend last night’s meeting. But I received copious correspondence as to what came to pass— and the flood abatement plans (seriously) ended up being the most contentious. Simply put, the peeps at Parks want to plant storm water management gardens (among other things) so as to prevent flooding. This would be fine and dandy if the plans they presented did not obstruct trucks providing wood chips to the adjacent dog run.* But of course it does— and a number of questions followed. Among them:

1. Marie, a stalwart employee of Community Board 1 (and amazing woman), noted that this should have been accounted for in their plans. E.g.; the size of the trucks needed to maintain the dog run’s wood chip needs should have been taken under consideration. But, alas, they were not. Thus, the Transportation Chair herself is going to visit the intersection* in question personally. Which dovetails to…

2.Why hasn’t our Parks & Waterfront Committee stepped up to the plate? This was question was raised. And no clear answers were tendered other than the lack of awareness-raising about the meeting being tossed on the Transportation Committee’s proverbial doorstep and this being considered a “transportation matter”.

I suppose it is to a certain degree— but park space is also implicated. Thus, it is also a “Parks & Waterfront” matter. So why this wasn’t this material being perused by them as well? Perhaps it is because this body’s Chair does not like to listen to… people complain? Nonetheless, other members of Community Board 1 have shown interest in getting involved with this item so I suspect we’ll be seeing some revised plans soon.

While I am tangentially on the subject of parks, I’d like to share the following email:

…I had the opportunity to visit the “No toilet left behind” queen bee toilet seat at the park house. The good news is that it’s still there. The bad news is that the hardware and hinges are damaged because there is a blatantly obvious leak or mini flooding occurring with each flush. If someone gets a video to me, I’ll be glad to attach it to my online complaint form. I attempted to take a video of it, but it failed. But attached is a photo of the seat and some water under the tank. I also attached my 311 complaint for you. It would be a shame for the money & effort to go to waste because of poor maintenance issues.

I designed this toilet seat with a despondent expression on purpose. I mean, would you like the following to be your home?

Nonetheless, I am pleased to report the leaky valve problem has since been addressed. I field-tested the toilet in question personally yesterday. I do not leave my toilet (seats) behind!

P.S.: Other (thrice confirmed) gossip from this convocation: our very own chair of Community Board 1, Christopher Olechowski, is going to run against Lincoln Restler (the latter of which was present at this meeting, the previous was absent) for 50th Assembly District Leader. Mr. Olechowski kicked off his campaigning last weekend when Carolyn Maloney had a meet and greet at McCarren Park (so as to welcome us to her constituency which apparently includes Michael Bloomberg himself— we have arrived!). Here’s how a tipster put it to me:

At today’s meet & greet with Maloney, I learned that Chris O. is going to run against Lincoln. Chris seems to think that I’ll vote for him and had a conversation with others, in front of me, about how Lincoln doesn’t come from here, isn’t one of us, doesn’t understand our needs, and so on. It was very interesting to say the least…

Given Mr. Olechowski seems to require constant coaching from our District Manager (who appears to be sorely out of touch with our needs— or simply passes the buck), this should be interesting.

*Had Parks, say, bothered to actually walk by the dog run they would have noticed this problem. As well as the sign across the street which has added-value in the way of “Penis Pump” and what appears to be a crude rendering of male genitalia. As noted on this site previously and this post.


LAST GASP: Protest At M.S. 577

March 28, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

A woman we’ll call “Q” writes:

Hi Miss Heather:

I have seen you often at the 94th precinct and the community board meetings. I am a parent of a child at MS 577 located at North 5th and Roebling in the Williamsburg section of Greenpoint. (!!! —Ed. Note) The outside of the school is under renovation and now the inside as well. If you saw the news on Monday night 3/26/2012, MS 577 was on because mold(several kinds have been identified) and asbestos has been found in the classrooms. Several children have become very ill and others dizzy and nauseous. At a emergency meeting held Monday night at the school several heads of different departments from the DOE came to say there really is no problem and your children are safe. Our children are in this building while a 10 million dollar renovation is going on. The entire building has scaffold all around it. They have not been able to open the windows because of the debris left on the platform from the nights work. As the warm weather approaches they will not be able to run the air conditioners until they can be properly cleaned and maintained.

The DOE and the Bloomberg administration were quick to judge teachers and say how bad they are well, the shoe is on the other foot now. They claim to have the children’s best interest at heart than why are they not relocate these children to clean and safe building for them to learn. Instead they brought in air purifiers but they say there is nothing wrong, do you see air purifiers in other schools.

Please help spread the word to come on Friday to MS577 North 5th and Roebling. Please come support the children who need your help.

My tipster goes on to add:

Thank you so much, we really appreciate any help we can get. On Monday, we left the meeting with no answers from the DOE, who said they had to go to tweed to get more answers. The only political representation was Lincoln Restler who spoke on the parents behalf. Thanks again.


Protest at P.S. 17/M.S. 577
March 30, 2012 starting at 8:00 a.m.
P.S. 17/M.S. 577
North 5th Street At Roebling Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Photo Credits: The screencap gracing the beginning of this post comes courtesy of News 12. Whose video you can and should watch by clicking here.

New York Shitty Day Ender: Sheela na gig*

March 28, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

From Roebling Street.

*For those of you who are not in the know, you can what these are by clicking here.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Coming To Manhattan Avenue…

March 28, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

A person we’ll call “N” writes:

Just witnessed the sign being installed for a louie g’s in the right side of stones. Still nothing on the left.

To wit I replied:

Yeah, I saw they were taking that one storefront a day or two ago methinks!

N countered:

I was hoping for something more exciting.

Being ever so hopeful, I opined:

Well, at least it is not another bank… 🙂

He concurred. However, I forgot something else this community probably does not need more of: nail salons. No worries, we’re getting another one of those as well:

So it goes and to each his/her own I suppose…

Uncle Louis G Italian Ices & Ice Cream
674 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Lilysa Nail
685 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Urban Artifact: Evergreen Place

Yours truly has seen a number of objects inserted into this crevasse. I have never seen fit to investigate them as they were usually partially consumed food items. Today’s article, a trophy, was a game-changer. My curiosity got the best of me and I grabbed it. I’m glad I did!

As you can see this is a second place trophy for a “lowered car” (more commonly known as “low riders”) in the “foreign” category. But what truly makes this a prize (in more ways than one) is the sponsor of said event.

Yup. Given I spent a great deal of my childhood in the Southwest— and watching Cheech and Chong movies— I found myself embarking upon a flight of artistic fancy. You see, when I think of low riders (and I have seen a great many. My personal favorite being a Pinto station wagon on Sunset Boulevard. It was painted a metallic shade of fuschia and sported a full wet bar in the hatchback and bud vases replete with roses.) I think of Mr. Cheech and Mr. Chong.

More specifically of this, their motor vehicle:

Pay particular attention to the customized license plates.* This is a detail I missed watching these fine films as a youth. In the 20/20 clarity that is adult hindsight it solicit fits of sophomoric laughter from yours trulys person— and served to deliver me further down the rabbit hole of my own depraved imagination.

Why hasn’t someone created a second place trophy for this act?

I asked myself. Again and again. I mean, the gift-giving (and general mayhem) potential of such an item is endless. This is of course because the recipient of said sinecure will wonder, no doubt endlessly, who is “first place”. Thus a new art project for yours truly has been born— and it was all due to a trophy I found secreted in a building in Bushwick!

To be continued…

*After some investigating I have learned that apparently such plates once graced a motor vehicle in Southern California. An AMC Gremlin no less! Priceless.

Photo Credits: The Cheech & Chong film still comes courtesy of!

Urban Fur: Callie, Revisited

This afternoon I had the pleasure of stumbling upon Callie (whose moniker comes at the behest of her jaunty tri-color coat) enjoying a little springtime sunshine with her bi-pedal companion, Peter.

As you can clearly see she’s one pampered pussy!

Spotted On Metropolitan Avenue: Strike Zone

March 28, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Taken March 28, 2012.

The Word On The Street, Part II: STOP

Taken March 28, 2012.

New York Shitty Street Art du Jour: East Williamsburg Selections

Taken March 28, 2012.

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