New York Shitty Feral Furniture Du Jour: And Now For Something Completely Different

August 29, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11206, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Feral Furniture 

boerumstreet

As spied on Boerum Street today, August 29, 2013. Where’s John Cleese when you need him?

Dung Of The Day: Special 34th City Council District Edition

August 29, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11206, 11237, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Wow 

(Or: God Bless the Internet)

That’s right folks, you read the title of this post correctly: “Dung of the Day”. Those of you who have followed New York Shitty for some time are undoubtedly aware that the initial premise of this site was documenting the rather pervasive problem with poop in my community. Over the years I have gone in a different direction. There are two reasons for this:

  1. As I became more attuned to the issues facing Greenpoint (and north Brooklyn, for that matter) and noticed they were not getting attention via the “mainstream media” I decided that this blog would be an excellent means raising awareness about them.
  2. I have seen so much magnificent merde— be it human, canine or otherwise— that quite frankly I have become acclimatized to it. I have become a shit snob.

Well, today while walking around Bushwick that changed.

To preface: today I met up with a buddy of mine who resides in the 34th City Council District. This person has been generous enough to save and share the manifold number of Vito Lopez campaign material which has found its way to his/her mailbox. This, of course, includes the infamous example of Team Gropez’s rather interesting use of Photoshop. The “plan” was to take a tour of the 34th and its Industrial Business Zone. Yours truly played “tour guide”. Granted, I do not actually reside in the 34th— but neither does Mr. Lopez for that matter and I digress.

One part of our peregrinations was Melrose Street. There we saw an affordable housing project being built at the behest of the Ridgewood Bushwick Senior Citizens Council. Just a Snapple bottle’s toss away we found something so extraordinary it merited a mention on this blog. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

MelroseStreet

 

This is one of two homeless encampments to be found on said street. As you can see, something has gone very wrong.

30inchesofshit

 

Unfortunately, I did not have the presence of mind to tote along a tape measure. Thus, I had to repurpose a locally-sourced, gently used bottle of Snapple so as to establish a sense of scale. Regardless, this is rather impressive once one gets past the revulsion/”upchuck” factor. I can assure you, gentle readers, I came to the estimate of 30″ in a very deliberate— if not exactly scientific— fashion. More specifically: when I arrived back at Chez Shitty I ran a Google search for “How tall is a bottle of Snapple?” The following speaks for itself.

YahooAnswers

 

But let’s get back to the conclusion on this tale of turdage. My travelling companion and I continued our walk down Melrose. As we did we noticed a number of Maritza Davila posters. That’s when my friend noted:

Too bad you didn’t take that Lopez mailer with you.

My reply was as follows:

Oh, but I did!

gropezwithexplosiveshit

“Ouch” indeed…

The Word On The Street, Part II: STOP

bogartstreet

Taken August 29, 2013.

New York Shitty Street Art Du Jour: Thames Street

August 29, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11206, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Street Art 

Two Owls

Taken August 29, 2013.

The Word On The Street: Special Bushwick Edition

August 29, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11237, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, The Word On The Street 

suydamstreet

Taken August 29, 2013.

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Bay Ridge Billiards

August 28, 2013 ·
Filed under: Bay Ridge, Bay Ridge Brooklyn, Brooklyn, New York City 

240/365 Bay Ridge Billiards

Taken by mistergalaxy.

Live From This Evening’s ULURP Meeting

August 27, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11222, Gentrification, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

theboard

so there

PROVEITnys@

CB1bylaws

sunshinelaws

All things considered this evening’s proceedings were quite well attended. I write “All things considered” because, once again, this meeting conflicted with another one pertaining to the subject of crime. In any case, I am pleased to announce (SPOILER ALERT):

  1. 77 Commercial has dispensed with the “poor door”.
  2. Ms. Meyer, the lady charged with representing Greenpoint Landing, assured us those who live in their affordable housing units will have (and I quote) “free access” to the parks developed on said parcels. Um, I thought that was kind of the point of having public parks? But I digress.

Without further ado here are tonight’s proceedings. Enjoy!

  • 0:54 – 1:28 watch it. And REwatch it. I did. Here’s an instant replay— albeit of the “I am tired and am in no mood for annotating this sh*t” variety.

Listening to this the first time was bad enough. Hence a Hello Kitty* post-it note and my hand will have to suffice. To my credit, I refrained from using my middle finger

  • Jack Hammer the Director of Planning at HPD (Housing Preservation and Development) speaks. I am not kidding. His name really is Jack Hammer.
  • “Mayoral Process”: one of the two ton gorillas** in the room, it was not mentioned (after all the public was not allowed to comment) but it was certainly there nonetheless. The reason this is being expedited— and Community Board 1 has never been this “active” during their summer break in my recollection— is so it will fly through before Bloomturd leaves office.

  • So was the dude sitting next to me from the Department of City Planning or not?
  • At 4:48 Del Teague, ULURP Chair, makes it clear she is NOT taking questions from “the public”.

The “vote” and next up, 77 Commercial Street…

This fellow represents via Greenberg Traurig LLP. In other words: he’s a lobbyist for “Clipper Equities”.

  • At 3:18 he, on the behalf of 77 Commercial Street, dispenses with the “poor door”.

  • Apparently the City of New York can only sell air rights from 65 Commercial Street to adjacent properties– and 77 Commercial was the only one to make a bid. So they got it.

Congratulations, Greenpoint! We’re getting more park space and it will even be available to residents of affordable housing! What’s more, we may very well have landed us a(nother) slumlord. Run a Google search of David Bistricer and Joseph Chetrit, the fellows behind 77 Commercial Street. This and this are my personal favorites.

I skipped out before the “school” presentation (at the end). But then again Del Teague, ULURP Chair, almost forgot about it too…

Cheers!

Post Script: I would encourage each and every one of you, gentle readers, to familiarize yourselves with the Sunshine Laws. Especially as they pertain to “Open Meetings”. In this respect let’s just say our local Community Board seems to be a mite bit inconsistent in its application

*Hello Kitty neither endorses nor takes a position on this community matter. I simply felt lazy and the need to be a jackass. It happens.

**The other being “infrastructural” stress: policing. The fact of the matter is the 94th is presently under-staffed to protect and serve this community. It has never overcome the wave of “attrition”/”retirements” that came to pass several years ago. So, I ask:

How is the 94th Precinct going to handle the influx of new residents from Greenpoint Landing, 77 Commercial Street and all the Greenpoint Condo Corridor?

Given the current path we’re on they cannot. Plain and simple. It was noted in 94th Precinct Community Council meetings long before this “Crime Wave” that block watchers and neighborhood watch groups should be (re)implemented. They were not.

But what irritates the fuck out of me is the fact this is the second time a meeting/forum regarding “crime” has conflicted with a ULURP meeting regarding the development on Greenpoint’s waterfront. So we have to choose. Is Community Board 1 really that inept/out of touch?

Quicklink: From The Times Ledger

August 27, 2013 ·
Filed under: Astoria, Astoria Queens, New York City, Queens 

TLsc

An actual quote from this tome (which was published yesterday, August 26th):

 

Ciafone is self-funding his race, which he says separates him from those who might want to buy influence.

NYCCFB

This fellow truly is the gift that keeps on giving folks. Too bad the Times Ledger didn’t ask some of Mr. Ciafone’s tenants here in north Brooklyn what they think of this fellow…

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: A Robbery At Carmine’s?

A person we’ll call “E” Writes:

Miss Heather:Any info on the robbery at Carmine’s Pizza on Norman Ave. yesterday? I was in there around 6:30 for my evening slice, and the place was filled with cops. I thought they were just ordering slices until I realized they were questioning the workers. Evidently, some guy pulled a gun and made of with $600 or so. In broad daylight! Anyhow, please pass along anything you hear…Thanks

I have not heard anything here— but if anyone reading this has the 411 please share via comments or email at: missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. Your identity will remain anonymous if you so desire.

Thanks!

UPDATE, August 28, 2913: I have received word an arrest was made!

TONIGHT: ULURP Meeting

August 27, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

ULURP

 

ULURPemail

This one damned near slipped past. But thanks to the folks at Save Domino I got a reminder/heads-up!

ULURP Committee Meeting, Community Board 1
August 27, 2013 starting at 6:30
Mary D’s Seniors Center
80 Dupont Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

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