LAST GASP: Greenpointer Shows 11222 Gratitude For New Park

(Or, Fat Boy: R.I.P.) Last month at Manhattan Avenue Park we beheld a strapping chap sunning his buns in a pink Speedo. This month it would appear that Greenpoint’s newest park has been pressed into service as a pet cemetery.



Love you fat boy



Laura writes (in an email copied to North Brooklyn’s Park Poobah):

Well, tonight Mike & I visited the Manhattan Ave street end park. Mike saw some cardboard sticking out of the dirt. Being a good park steward, Mike began to pick it up when he noticed R.I.P. written on top. Turns out to be a final resting place. We weren’t about to throw the dearly departed away. Nor did we choose to bury it. We’ll leave it to the Parks Dept discretion to find a proper burial plot for “Fat Boy”.

(North Brooklyn’s Park Poobah),
Fat Boys remains can be found to the right of the entrance near the truck yard

I have lived in Greenpoint for ten years. In this time I have seen some seriously strange shit. SERIOUSLY. STRANGE. SHIT. We’re talking people fucking on sidewalks, drunk couples making out and stomping on cars, old Polish women lifting up their skirts and pissing on vacant lots. You get the idea. The previous having been written this makes the top ten. Easily.

Nonetheless it is a touching (if somewhat abject) tribute to Fat Boy. Whatever he was in life, he was clearly loved. And I have little doubt Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn will be pleased as punch to know the new park at the northern terminus of Manhattan Avenue (which they take credit for opening**) is, in fact, being used.

Albeit not in the manner they envisioned.

Miss Heather

*Apparently this is not the case: I have just received word “Fatboy” will be removed tomorrow.

The Poobah writes:

Will be removed tomorrow.

While she’s at it maybe she’ll get someone to find a more appropriate resting place for the dead rats and detritus at Bushwick Inlet?

**This too, is not true: someone (not me) got liquored up and pissed off and tore down the fence. The next day people started using the park— and shortly thereafter it was “opened” by the Parks Department (to save face).


5 Comments on LAST GASP: Greenpointer Shows 11222 Gratitude For New Park

  1. no no on Wed, 7th Oct 2009 12:56 am
  2. A ceremony is scheduled to bring Fatboy to Transmutter Park for a proper service on the creative and compliant wheelchair accessible ramp to the awkward exposed platform in the middle of the otherwise wood-chipped human dog run. (the little wheelchair sign gives away its purpose)

  3. missheather on Wed, 7th Oct 2009 1:01 am
  4. Didn’t you mean Transmutherfucker? In any case. We can then take Fatboy to India Street Park and give him a Viking Funeral. Methinks a shoebox and some kerosene will suffice.

  5. no no on Wed, 7th Oct 2009 1:27 am
  6. True, but if they save him for saturday at McCarren then some bastard that failed his Boy Scout patch in fire making could use him in lieu of the half gallon of lighter fluid that the usuals on the corner of Union and Bayard will needlessly burn up. Last weekend they sent an 80 year emphysema sufferer to Woodhull with their poor bbq’n skills. Maybe the park should offer fire building workshops. ( for a fee )

  7. missheather on Wed, 7th Oct 2009 1:35 am
  8. NAH— the new tennis courts will be our the Parks Department’s new cash cow! Have you taken a look at McCarren Tennis’s web site? Look at their “donate” page. When you do you’ll notice OSA is handling their donations— and the Park’s Department gets a 10% cut.

    NOTE: the poobah of OSA is a Park’s employee. 51%— or $51,000— of her salary comes from the city. WTF is THIS about?

    Oh, and did I mention that OSA has filed yet another extension for their 2008 statement? If this org has so much trouble managing their own books I sure as fuck wouldn’t trust them to handle money on my behalf. I’m just sayin’…

  9. no no on Wed, 7th Oct 2009 9:39 am
  10. The skateboard park (which doesn’t even have a Port-a-john or a water fountain) cost $697,000 to build. The cost went up after they had to tear out a huge portion that they had poured only a week earlier I imagine. They put it NEXT TO a diving well. A skateboarders dream. Morons.
    They want a tennis complex? Are they kidding?

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