Now On Manhattan Avenue: Offers You Can’t Refuse

October 23, 2019 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

If you need it— or have never even thought about it— Manhattan Avenue has it. Be it used pillows with “credible” hair or life coaching which can easily be had via any dysfunctional familial/intimate relationship, WE HAVE IT ALL.

P.S.: That smell isn’t hell, it’s Greenpoint.

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: The Word On The Street

Taken October 20, 2019.

The Word On The Street: Presenting “Fuck You” Friday

It’s been a pretty busy week for yours truly. Today, however, I was able to take a day off to do a few things I wanted to do (versus stuff I have to do). I have had a lot of “have to dos” lately.

Upon disembarking the L at First Avenue in the East Village I, courtesy of LinkNYC, was presented with this self-care “tip”: call a friend.

No, no sir (or madam) this is simply not how it works here”, I thought to myself. “Telling someone to fuck off IS self-care.”

Believe you me, I want to tell quite a few folks to do just that nowadays. However, “punching up” could get me in (more) trouble. “Punching down” is not my style. “Punching laterally”, however, is fair game in my opinion.

If you need it— “it” being anything imaginable and beyond— New York City not only has it but will deliver it.

Right.
To.
Your.
Proverbial.
Fucking.
Doorstep.

We pay top dollar for this amenity. This is something outsiders do not understand. The freedom, the mental health benefits, which come with letting it all out in public. Fellow New Yorkers let you do it. We take it in turns. It’s an understood thing.

Sure enough, I was presented with such an opportunity today. Here’s how I put it on Twitter:

Then it occurred to me:

Why not roll out a compendium of “Fuck Yous” in their manifold forms as I see them?

There’s no more replenishable, locally-sourced resource as “Fuck You” in New York City.

So here we go!

First Avenue, East Village
First Avenue, East Village
Delancey Street, Lower East Side
Houston Street, Lower East Side
Manhattan Avenue, Greenpoint
Freeman Street, Greenpoint

And last, but hardly least, this contender from none other than Clay Street, Greenpoint, U.S.A. While “Fuck You” is not explicitly stated, the sentiment is there.

That’s the whole trouble. You can’t ever find a place that’s nice and peaceful, because there isn’t any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you’re not looking, somebody’ll sneak up and write “Fuck you” right under your nose. Try it sometime. I think, even, if I ever die, and they stick me in a cemetery, and I have a tombstone and all, it’ll say “Holden Caulfield” on it, and then what year I was born and what year I died, and then right under that it’ll say “Fuck you.” I’m positive, in fact.*

— J.D. Salinger, “Catcher in the Rye”

*I am totally amenable to “Fuck You” being inscribed on my tombstone. The more the merrier. A person is defined by his— or her— enemies.

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Blue

This really disturbs me— and I am not a person who is easily disturbed. First you have the fact many dogs are euthanized for no other reason than homes cannot be found for them. Then you have the fact a child(‘s artistry) is being employed to pimp out the family dog. A DIY Grindr ad, if you will.

Blue is handsome fellow. This is indisputable. But that is not really the issue here.

Damn.

The Word On The Street: What Time Is It?

Bitch time 24/7/365: it’s how I roll…

(Taken October 2nd, 2019)

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Eyes on the Street

Ever had the feeling you’re being watched?

(Taken September 29, 2019.)

The Word On The Street: F.D.C.

I happened upon this missive today while going to lunch with a friend. A friend with whom I talked about my interview at the Civilian Complaint Review Board (replete in all its disgusting detail). Needless to say I found the timing interesting. As I did seeing the C.O. of the 94th himself a short time thereafter. I refrained from pointing this out to him. I think he is quite aware there is a vandalism and community relations problem in this here. Call it a hunch.

Word On The Street: Keep NYC Clean…

Taken September 19, 2019.

Today On The Avenue: Praxis

September 14, 2019 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture 

For months this police barricade has laid in this tree pit. Not weeks, MONTHS. Also, it has not gone unnoticed by yours truly that a chef at a nearby restaurant has taken sitting (rather perilously) on this tree pit guard during breaks. Here we have a workable solution to two problems:

  • the NYPD not picking up after themselves
  • providing this fellow a better street seating option for his work breaks

Let’s see if it works!

This post goes out to two of the most ingenious fellows I have ever met.

You are an inspiration to me to this day. Cheers!

P.S.: I am not sure what “rainbow cookies” is about but it certainly sounds nice enough. Everyone loves cookies!

The Word On The Street: Manhattan Avenue

Taken September 1st, 2019
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