New York Shitty Day Ender: Before & After

April 18, 2010 by
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Empire State Building, Green Street at Manhattan Avenue; April 17, 2010

Empire State Building, Green Street at Franklin Street; April 18, 2010

Any questions?

As is often the case with some of the choicer finds in our fair ‘nabe this reminds me of a story. Methinks it was back in 2000 that a person I know, we’ll call him John, was experiencing a period of— how should I put it— enhanced recreational drug use. I’m not terribly sure what intoxicants loosened his inhibitions so as to do what I am about to tell you but if I had to hazard a guess I’d say cocaine and alcohol. I suppose the following goes without saying but I’ll say it anyway: I was not present when the following came to pass. While I do not care what people do in the privacy of their own homes there is some things I simply do not care to be around. I am too old for this shit. But I digress.

On one summer evening— no, make that morning— John had a bee in his bonnet. To assuage this he headed to the roof of his building (which was located on Green Street). He had something to say. And say it he did— while shooting both “birds” at Manhattan:

Fuck you, World Trade Center!

Fuck you, Empire State Building!

Fuck you, Chrysler Building!

And so on and so forth. Upon completing his mission John headed towards the stairs so as to go back to his abode. Little did he know that his digestive tract had other plans: his screed was punctuated by a copious stream of vomitus. After divesting himself he went downstairs (and presumably to bed). To his credit he got up bright and early and cleaned up the evidence of his misdeeds. One has to commend him for this act of neighborly/common courtesy.

If there is a moral to this story it is this: I find it strangely refreshing that even after ten years some things in the Garden Spot never change.


Miss Heather


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