I Am A Bad Feminist

June 27, 2008 by
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

I have found myself asking this question more and more of late. When I leave my apartment building I am harassed by construction workers on a regular basis. When I take photographs men try to intimidate me. I have been hissed at, kissed at and physically threatened in person. Online I have been called a bitch, a witch, a cunt and someone who needs a good “vagina pounding”. Does this sound like equality to you?

I aspire to be called an asshole, dick head, son of a bitch or motherfucker. In terms of physical violence, I want the threat of a good ass kicking, not a hate fuck. I am married woman. I want to be monogamous. Is this too much to ask? I think not.

Gloria Steinem said anyone against Hillary Clinton was anti-woman. I guess I am anti-woman too. Who knew? In any case, here’s a choice tidbit I found from the March 11, 1870 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle to remind us that womens’ rights are quite a novel thing.

When someone says to me:

Hey Heather, you motherfucking dick-headed son of a bitch asshole I want to kick your fucking ass.

I know I have achieved equality with my male peers and will dissipate into a cloud of feminist pixie dust. Until then I will rant. And be a cunt whose sole aspiration in life is to be an asshole. Feminism is dead— if you want it to be. I’ll keep on fighting, thank you very much.


This post is dedicated to George Carlin.


Miss Heather


2 Comments on I Am A Bad Feminist

  1. mother-in-law on Fri, 27th Jun 2008 9:27 am
  2. Enjoyed the tribute to Carlin. You got it right on; perfect! Also enjoyed all the mermaid parade coverage.

  3. Middle Finger Friday: Hey Heather, you win! on Fri, 27th Jun 2008 12:44 pm
  4. […] Hey Heather, you motherfucking dick-headed son of a bitch asshole I want to kick your fucking ass. […]

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