Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
New York Shitty Day Starter: Existentialism, East Williamsburg Style
Jean-Paul Sartre a la Meserole Street.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Contrast
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Norman Avenue.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Old Meets New
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
As rents continue to be prohibitively out-of-reach for small businesses we can anticipate more and more chain stores and franchises gracing Manhattan Avenue. Like this new Subway slated for 650 Manhattan Avenue. My advice: if you want a sandwich go to Boneshakers, The God Bless Deli or the Franklin Corner Store. They’re well worth it.
Miss Heather
Presenting “The McCarren Park”
One thing Mr. Heather has really been getting into of late is the art of mixology. I suspect it appeals to his meticulous nature. What’s more, if the past two months of being the Mister’s guinea pig are any indication I’d go so far as to say he is well on his way to becoming a true cocktailian. His take on Singapore Slings, Martinis and Manhattans have all been tested on yours truly. I cannot honestly say I cared much for any of them.* Give me tonic water and decent bottle of gin and I am content. I like to keep things simple.
I mention the previous because I have been racking my brain to come up with a cocktail honoring the glory that is the Garden Spot of the Universe. The “Greenpoint”, “Greenpoint Oil Spill” and “Newtown Creek” are all eagerly waiting manifestation from someone’s creative ether. Unfortunately I am not that someone: I possess neither the expertise nor wherewithal to make this happen.
Luckily as I was walking down Lorimer Street this afternoon I spied a concoction which I have dubbed “The McCarren Park”. Not only are its ingredients easily found in many of our local stores but it is also very easy to make! You can create your own McCarren Park by following these simple steps:
1. Get one bottle of Sobieski vodka.
2. Add one bottle of Gatorade (fruit punch is featured in the above photograph but feel free to use your imagination)
3. Drink the previous until you pass out.
4. Wake up.
5. Repeat steps #1 – #5
Miss Heather
*Okay, I have to confess: I like Aviations.
New York Shitty Slide Show Du Jour: Memorial Day In The Bronx Part 2
Filed under: Bronx
As I have mentioned previously after checking out my old digs in Morris Park the Mister and I headed to Little Italy. Initially we attempted to do so on foot and ended up at the Bronx Zoo. We backpedaled and decided to let the BX 12 bus do the walking for us. If anyone from Not For Tourists is reading this could you please publish a Bronx guide? I am making this recommendation because although I enjoyed our (not so) little detour tremendously the fact of the matter is my feet most decidedly did not. I learned this the following day. But I digress.
For the previous reason today’s slide show will be a mixed bag. It includes not only photographs of Little Italy, but also Pelham Parkway, Boston Road and several other thoroughfares we happened to find ourselves. Before we proceed I am going to share some highlights from our journey.
I found this lovely old call box on Pelham Parkway outside one of the many Art Deco apartment buildings to be found there. They simply do not make them like this anymore. What’s more, this piece of public property sports one of the most cryptic missives I have ever had the pleasure of reading.
You took a pic of me with a diture camara to wash me and love 1 ones.
Uh-huh. Methinks somewhere in 10462 walks a budding e. e. cummings. Armed with a felt tip marker and unencumbered spellchecker.
The first thing that struck me about “Little Italy” was the presence of a rather sizable Albanian community. This first came to my attention when I spied one of the following piece of religious kitsch.
A clock featuring Mother Theresa praying over a solitary Albanian rose. Not having enough weird crap cluttering up our home I went inside to inquire about this item. I suspect my enthusiasm made me suspect in the shopkeeper’s eyes. He stated it was sun damaged and refused to sell it to me. However, I think he was impressed that I was able to identify a portrait of King Zog. Why would I— not being Albanian— even know who King Zog is, you ask? Well, for starters:
- I read a lot.
- Any country which brought us Enver Hoxha and his manifold contributions to the field of architecture is of particular interest to yours truly. As far as I’m concerned Karl Fischer wouldn’t have a pot to piss in if it were not for this man.
- Anyone named “Zog” is most assuredly someone I will make it a point to know about.
It was also on Arthur Avenue where I found what is easily the most stunning urban gravestone I have beheld to this day.
This bad boy needs to be seen to be believed folks. Simply amazing.
In addition to Albanians this neighborhood also sports a rather sizable Latino community. It was in one bodega on Hughes Avenue that I found the above assortment of pinatas…
and this fragrant assortment of sweets. Before you get the urge to make cruller run I feel compelled to share with you one of the most effective advertising campaigns for weight loss ever concocted.
It hails from this unisex salon on Crescent Avenue…
and is anything but sexy.
I could go on and on about the many interesting things I saw on Arthur Avenue and beyond but I have written far too much already. Instead I’ll leave you with this slide show. Enjoy!
This concludes our virtual tour of the Bronx. Now if you don’t mind I am off to explore the wilderness of north Brooklyn!
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: One Call
Filed under: Williamsburg
From the intersection of North 11 Street and Kent Avenue.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Would You Buy A Used Car From This Man?
Filed under: Bronx
As I mentioned yesterday after our jaunt to Morris Park we headed over to Little Italy/Fordham. Sort of. You see, we did not know where we were going. At one point we ended up at the Bronx Zoo. We got out via a street called Boston Road which is where I found the following.
I got a big chuckle out of this sign.
Especially since someone was parked in the spot in question and had not been towed.
Then I noticed who the presided over this establishment was and abruptly stopped laughing.
None other than the king of kings himself. This begs the question as to why he is trifling with a towing company. Why not give dear old dad a ring and have that S.U.V. turned into a much more eco-friendly pillar of salt?
No amount of ticketing or towing is going to deter the drivers of our fair city, whether they man two wheels or four, from behaving like selfish assholes. But if one (hint, hint) were to go Old Testament on their asses things might— just might— change.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Much Ado About Manholes!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Tony writes at 5:39 p.m.:
an apparent blown manhole cover in front of chopin chemists on manhattan ave. ten min. ago i heards a boom and the lights dimmed and flickered. it appears that no one was hurt.
To wit I replied:
I tell you when the CHUDs finally decide to come above ground here is where they’re going to do it. What’s more, no one will notice!
Another reader named David noticed today’s excitement. What’s more he took photographs. He writes at 6:13 p.m.:
maybe 20 mins ago or so. from my vantage point it seems a manhole explosion. police/fire response was quick, under 5 min.
Damn.
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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