Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
TONIGHT: Tomfoolery At t.b.d.
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Those of you who don’t get your fill of foolishness today (if so, you’re either not looking hard enough or in the wrong places) might be interested to know t.b.d. will be hosting an evening of stand-up comedy, hoaxes and “joaxes”. I am certain drink specials will be involved as well. Check it out!
April Fool’s Party
t.b.d.
224 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
GREENPOINT RECESSION WATCH
(Or, Are You And A Significant Other Looking For A Little Extra Cash?)
One question I am asked quite frequently about my junk daze is as follows:
How do you do it?
As you can probably intuit from the video gracing the beginning of this post my answer is simply:
Very easily.
I have reached a point in my life where very few things disturb me at a core level anymore. This is not to suggest I have seen it all. I haven’t and I do not want to. Some would say I have a very vivid imagination. Others would call me a colossal pervert. They’re both probably correct. Which brings me to this rather eye-catching flier I spied on Manhattan Avenue recently.
$290 divided by 15 comes out roughly to $19.30 an hour. Not a bad a rate for keeping one’s clothes on.*
Miss Heather
*Although I suppose you could do those online questionaires in your birthday suit if you are so inclined.
Reader Contribution Du Jour: Awwwww Fook!
Although both I and my good friend down at Bed Stuy Banana have already featured this delightful establishment I’m going to do it again. Some things just don’t get old. Jason Lombard (of Dog Habitat) who sent me this photo writes:
I know you venture to Bed Stuy once in a while – I was there last week and came across this joint. The Fook Hing Chinese Restaurant on Nostrand Ave. Close to the fook hing G stop. The sign says it’s fook hing delicious. I’ll take their word for it – I didn’t try the fook hing chicken. But that’s a good thing because they got shut down for fook hing rats!
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: PROJECT MEGAPOLE
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Since yesterday, March 31, was on the heels of none other than April Fool’s Day I decided it would be fun to engage in a little tomfoolery. It took me a little while to figure out how I was going to go about this but after walking around Greenpoint a couple hours it finally came to me:
Geez, there are sure a lot of businesses whose names integrate “Poland” in some way, shape or form here.
I know what you’re thinking:
NO SHIT SHERLOCK, you live in ‘Little Poland”!
Yes, I know. But previous to yesterday afternoon I had never pondered how many business names here reflect the cultural vibrancy of my fair ‘nabe. I decided I simply must know once and for all how many of them there are. To this end I started documenting them. Here are my findings/observations thus far:
- There are a darned lot of them! In a casual 1 1/2 hour search I turned up 25 businesses on the west side of McGuinness Boulevard alone. I imagine once I expand my search to the area around McGolrick Park I will find many more.
- Most were pretty mundane and descriptive in nature, e.g.; Polish Meat Market, Poland Farm, Old Poland Bakery, and so forth. This is a shame, as some of the most stunning examples of marketing I have found here in the 11222 employ a suffix/prefix formula: Anna – Pol Travel, Dunne’s Polemost Liquors, POLSERVICE, POLMART and (my personal favorite) MEGAPOL Music. Granted, this is not the is not the stuff of Saatchi & Saatchi but they do have a certain je nais sais quoi. Besides, if it is good enough for The Garden Spot of The Universe it’s sure as hell good enough for me…
and YOU! On that note and without further ado here is a slide show featuring the findings of what I have christened “Project: MEGAPOLE”. When I have completed my mission you can look forward to a map, statistical breakdown and yes, maybe even a pie chart or two. Enjoy!
TO BE CONTINUED…
Miss Heather
Happy April Fool’s Day From New York Shitty!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I can think of no better way to kick off today’s selection of absurd New York Shitty goodness than this masterfully executed (and most assuredly illegal) seven point turn* from Huron onto Franklin Street Whoever you are, truck drivin’ man, thank you. Watching your herculean effort to round this corner gave the Department of Sanitation employee idling on Huron Street (in the correct direction) and I a much needed laugh.
Miss Heather
*This is an estimate. I lost count after six.
New York Shitty Day Ender: Thank You Vodka Bunny!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Just in time for the arrival of the big furry floppy eared one T & N Wine and Liquor has a nice assortment of Easter baskets on display for adults of all ages. This one has vodka in it. Yummy.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Yes, that’s a liquor container shaped like an artillery shell in the background.
A Manhattan Avenue Public Service Announcement
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
For those of you who prefer to get your news from less conventional sources (than, for example, CNN, Wikipedia or even The Drudge Report) according to this bicycle on Manhattan Avenue the chap who brought us Enron— none other than Kenneth Lay— is still alive.
Miss Heather
TOMORROW: Brooklyn Standard Is Open For Business!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Unlike most of the people (who still in fact have jobs) reading this, I do not work a conventional 9-5 work week. I like this because it enables me to go out and take pictures on lovely days like this one. What’s more, it gives me a leg up on learning what’s going on. Case in point: Brooklyn Standard. Not only are they hurriedly getting the store prepped for its Grand Opening…
but said opening is scheduled for tomorrow, April 1. No foolin’!
The Brooklyn Standard
188 Nassau Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Cody Utzman was kind enough to let me snoop around and take a few snaps so you can get a sneak peek of what awaits you tomorrow. Here they are!
I think I can safely say this is the first and only “bodega” I have ever seen in Greenpoint that is appointed with a chandelier. I suppose that’s gentrification for you!
Miss Heather
Spring Has Sprung In North Brooklyn!
Filed under: Abjectecture, Articles of Fedderization, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg
Yes folks, you can literally smell it in the air: springtime has finally come to north Brooklyn.
The winteriana has been packed away and replaced with more springtimey fare— such as this deliciously terrifying rabbit from India Street. And not unlike the mighty Monarch butterfly, a number of construction projects have emerged from their respective chrysalises to display their new found glory for all to enjoy.
This humdrum specimen hails from 916 Manhattan Avenue. As you can see it sports some seriously fierce asphalt siding. No more. After a couple of modification permits (and a little Greenpoint magic) it has been…
FEDDERIZED!
Of course what would any discourse about abjectecture be without a mention of my good friend Karl Fischer?
Holy 311 calls! It would appear the scaffolding has begun to come down at 200 Franklin Street…
and what a magnificent sight it is!
A number of images come to mind when people use words like “craftsmanship” “luxury” or “quality”. This is not one of them.
And last, but hardly least, what would a revue of north Brooklyn abjectecture be without a Belvedere? Good news kids: thanks to the wizards at Belvedere/Bridge Realty North 9 Street Williamsburg can now claim one of their very own!
Or should I make that XXVI?*
Congratulations northside Williamsburg you’ve just joined the club!
Too bad this sign doesn’t apply to architecture.
Miss Heather
*Not to let them have a monopoly on all the fun. Behold: Belvedere X of Eckford Street!
Nice balconies.
Reader Contribution Du Jour: A Magnificent Waterfront Specimen!
Filed under: Brooklyn
This well-appointed al fresco living room suite (found either Columbia Street or Van Brunt in Red Hook) comes from Gothamist‘s very own Jake Dobkin who writes:
i feel sad that bob didn’t live to witness my discover of the holy grail of street couches– the dockside three piece sectional!
Agreed. On that note I have contributed a number of north Brooklyn street couches for Robert Guskind’s upcoming memorial service including a real beauty I found in front of Radiac on Grand Street last summer. Anyone have an extra Geiger counter laying around?
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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