Greenpoint Fashion Watch: The Aviator

March 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Greenpoint Magic 

I have lived in Greenpoint for over nine years now. It certainly doesn’t feel like I have lived here the better part of a decade but this in fact the case. I guess time flies when you’re having fun. As time has gone by I have witnessed a number of highly unusual things in my neighborhood of choice. This includes (but by no means is limitied to):

  1. Watching an old Polish woman drop her underwear and go to the bathroom at a temporary stop of the B43 bus.
  2. Having as a neighbor a woman who wore a sleeping bag wrapped around her head like a turban.
  3. Finding a man passed out cold on the stairs leading up to his stoop at 2:00 a.m. in the morning. His car keys were still in his hand but someone had seen fit to steal his shoes.
  4. Jessica.
  5. Learning that a one armed man is one of the junk shops most ingenious shoplifters: he even succeeded in stealing a pair of shoes once. (Think about this one for a moment.)
  6. And of course there was the legally blind guy who wanted me to “model” for some “pin up” photographs.

Suffice it to say the Garden Spot of the Universe had (and still has) some highly unusual people. What would probably merit a 911 call in Brooklyn Heights would not get some much as second glance here. Have I become jaded? This is a distinct possibility. However I know something (or someone) special when I see it. Which brings me to this guy.

theaviator

I apologize for the poor quality of this photograph. The truth of the matter is I was in awe at the sheer sublimity of what the Greenpoint gods had seen fit to send my direction. I have christened this chap “The Aviator” and he is too fucking amazing for words.

aviatordeconstructed

I quietly (but very excitedly) stalked this man until he stopped to pause in front of a liquor store. I got up the nerve to speak with him. I mean, how often do you see a guy walking down the street who  is a dead ringer for one of the frogmen from the movie Delicatessen? Don’t everyone answer at once.

Where did you get those goggles? They are fucking amazing.

I asked. To wit he replied:

I really like this absinthe fountain. Every time I try my prepare it at home I just don’t get it right.

Why don’t you go inside and ask about it? I am certain he will sell it to you.

I replied.

Oh, he is selling them. I like that because I won’t have to order one.

And with that remark he went on his way.

InFUCKINGcredible.

Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: Furit

March 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

groceryfuritjeffhinton

Jeff Hinton (who found this wonderful bit of Greenpoint goodness) writes:

Yet another “Gourmet Deli” rears it’s ugly head in Greenpoint… this one on the corner of Nassau and Leonard.  Obviously, whoever wrote the copy for the awning went to NYC public schools.  Sorry for the crappy pic… all I had was my iphone.

I don’t know about you but I don’t think the fact this was shot from a cell phone diminishes this item’s Greenpoint glory one bit. Great catch Jeff!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: People & Automobiles

March 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

cleanmeplz

fury

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Southside Photo Du Jour: South 6th Soma

March 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

caddyonsouth6

By Mr. Heather

Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: Greenpoint After Dark

March 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Earlier this week I met up with The Professor for a couple of drinks and some long overdue catch-up time. Some of you might know that the Professor is a D.J. by trade. He spins at The Beauty Bar every Tuesday night. I also have it on very good intelligence that Greenpoint’s very own CoCo66 is going to give him a trial run soon. When I get a confirm on the date and time I will pass it along here.

In addition to his love of music The Professor is an extremely gifted photographer. Follows is a sampling of his latest work. Enjoy!

kitprof1

kitprof2

kitprof3

kitprof4

kitprof5

You can see all the above shots and much, much more via The Professor’s Flickr page. Check it out!

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Bedford Avenue

March 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

tko

TKO

Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: 305 Lofts Redux

March 13, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

305thumbnailSome of you might have noticed I have been having a lot of fun with the Loft 305 this week. Well, the party found its way to my inbox. An anonymous tipster writes:

Thought you might enjoy these. View from inside 305 Lofts. Must be spectacular at night, eh?

Eager to see what Greenpoint goodness was attached to this email I enthusiastically toggled down.

I was not disappointed.

silvercreek1

silvercreek2

silvercreek3

Perhaps I am being a stickler but this scenic vista looks very little like the one gracing Loft 305’s web site. Hmm…

Miss Heather

Southside Photo Du Jour: Which One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others?

March 13, 2009 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

anthraxandstella

From South 2nd Street.

Miss Heather

Brooklyn Photo Du Jour: The Laundry Store

March 13, 2009 ·
Filed under: Brooklyn 

laundrystore

From 4th Avenue.

Miss Heather

Fedders Friday Long Island City Style: The People Have Spoken!

11street1

On Tuesday, March 3, 2009 I wrote:

No matter how hard I try my wit, gift for gab, whatever-you-want-to-call-it is not doing this stellar example of Fedderism justice. To this end I need your help. Although I realize this has been done before I am proposing the following: you, dear readers, tender LOL speak captions for this masterpiece. These can be left in the comments below or sent via email at: missheather (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com.

If I like what I see I’ll publish the pick of the litter right here on New York Shitty later this week.

Well, things got a little chaotic for me that week so this had to be tabled. But this is not to suggest I didn’t have 49-16 11 Street on my mind. I most certainly did. Among other things I wondered to myself:

Is this building as craptastic in day light as it is at night.

I did a little field research and found the answer.

aviewtoafug

Abso-FUCKING-lutely YES.

Now, without further ado I offer for your Friday morning entertainment piquant observations about this stellar structure from you, the readers.* Enjoy!

11street7

AMOJA wrote:

…I think I may start calling this building the Triple Nipple. Those studs are…well…they’re there.

friedrichboxes

Jason in Kew Gardens raves:

This is the most effort I’ve ever seen put into a Friedrich box.

shaft

anonymous opines:

Nah…that’s a cesspool on the roof.

The builder is just too cheap to pay for a hook up to NYC’s sewer system!

Okay, so we have heard about the builder. What about the architect? Another anonymous offers up his theory as to who is responsible for this turd:

shaft2

Design by Helen Keller.

And last, but hardly least I want to give special props to lylet (who actually followed my directions for this project). He mused:

I drive over the Pulaski every day – and this building has been testing my gag reflex for months now. While many don’t like the new building across the bridge, at least is qualifies as some sort of ‘architecture’ (and I actually happen to like it). This, however, looks like a Belvedere made babies with a Fedders Special – and out came this cheapo be-nippled eyesore. And did they build the elevator shaft for a few extra floors that never materialized?…

11streetdaylitelol

Indeed.

Miss Heather

*And a whole lotta help from Queens Crap!

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