Sign Of The Times: Hipsters, Hagglers & Shoplifters

Last night the Mister decided to see how badly our investments were doing. Apparently one of our CDs (or whatever they call them) has lost 50% of its value. Whoopie! I really wished he had not shared this information with me— but he did and we both proceeded to raid the liquor cabinet immediately afterward.

I have another, slightly less depressing, index by which to judge the health of the economy. I call it the Junk Shop Effect, e.g.; the healthier the economy, the less the haggling. And I have some very, very bad news: not only is haggling up sharply across the board, but I am seeing it increasingly amongst the least likely suspects: 20-somethings.

Before I proceed I’d like to state that I am not against the practice of haggling. Believe it or not, a number of my colleagues understand times are tough. A dollar here or there is no big deal. We understand. But shit like the following is kind of ridiculous.

Customer (walks up to counter with three photographs): How many can I get for 25 cents?
Co-worker: One photograph.

(Customer proceeds to purchase one photograph and the aforementioned co-worker goes back to work.) Now jump forward 2-3 minutes. Larry da Junkman enters the store.

Larry: Did you sell any photographs while I was out?
Co-worker: Yup, ONE.
Larry: Well, I just saw that woman walking down Manhattan Avenue sort through a stack of photographs from here. You wanna track her down?
Co-worker: Sure

Larry and aforementioned co-worker double-timed it down Manhattan Avenue to her chase down. But alas to no avail.

Where do I start with this? Is it the fact this woman (described as being a “hipster) had the temerity to ask what should could get for a quarter? Not even the dudes from the Greenpoint Hotel do that— and god only knows they’re probably in more dire financial straights than the likes of her.

Or was it the fact that after shoplifting she was stupid enough to check out her haul of pilfered photographic goodness just down the street. I’m no expert on criminal behavior but this strikes me as being astonishly stupid —because it’s possible that someone will notice. And in this case someone did: the manager of the store. Things ought to get mighty interesting if she returns —but I digress.

After this whole incident came to pass I spied something our sticky fingered friend missed.

Woman stealing $5.00 worth of photographs = pathetic.
A photograph of the Lexus dude in a state of mild intoxication wearing Statue of Liberty headgear and brandishing a bottle of Dom Perignon = PRYCELESS!

This one goes out to you Jonathan! For better or worse you will always be known as that “Lexus guy*” to pretty much anyone under 30 years of age. I liked you much better in Brazil —which just happens to be the movie we watched at the junk shop today.

Toodles!

Miss Heather

*Do read this. It is a forum discussion about Lexus’s spokes people. Bizarre.