Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Great Moments In Real Estate Rhetoric: “The Village”
Any resident of this area can tell you how laughably bad this advertisement is:
- Luxury lofts + village (sans idiot) + north Brooklyn = laughable
- These “luxury lofts” are located nowhere near the heart of anything. They are located south of the BQE in that disorienting no man’s land that downzoning forgot.
- In other words, this building is located in Greenpoint
But who cares about semantics! Let’s take a closer look at this “village” shall we?
Here’s a view of Richardson Street looking westward. Those quaint 8+ story tall buildings are condominiums.
Here’s a shot of Monitor Street. This street was named after the U.S.S. Monitor which was launched in Greenpoint. Lest any of you are wondering why the above row of edifices is punctuated, a two story house (AKA: “The Monitor Street Sandwich”) is to blame. I wonder how this petite chateau is faring? Let’s go in for a closer look!
Welcome to the village Greenpoint, FUCKS.
Miss Heather
FUCKING PHOTO CREDITS: Signage by Lisacat
Greenpoint:3, Philosophy Works: 0
God am I happy this week is almost over. I think I spent more time on the subway this week than I usually do in a month.
Thankfully I was provided ample entertainment in the way of the Crosstown Local ridership’s latest skirmish in the ongoing war for hearts and minds against Philosophy Works.
What’s more, I also learned our friends on the Manhattan-bound L train have joined the fray.
Miss Heather
P.S.: This post is dedicated to Copyranter, a blog I enjoy tremendously and am greatly relieved to learn will resume publication.
Fedders Friday: Gas Guzzler’s Delight
As I put forth in this post, there appears to be a striking corrolation between Fedders Specials and over-sized motor vehicles. Wishing to test my pet theory out, I went to the headquarters of all things Fedders: Bushwick. Here are my findings.
JEFFERSON STREET
This thoroughfare is a hot bed of Fedders activity.
Exhibit A
As you can see, nary a lick of this property was wasted on plant life— not when valuable parking spaces will be lost! Priorities, folks!
Exhibit B
I suppose it would only be logical that the kind of person who doesn’t mind coming home to a Soviet-era pile of crapitecture every day would probably not be too concerned about greenhouse emissions or paying $4.00 for a gallon of gas. To the developer’s credit, at least this building has some semblance of a yard.
Exhibit C
While technically not a Fedders building (the air conditioning boxes are Friedrichs), this building has all the hallmarks of Fedderist Style:
- Exposed meters
- No greenery whatsoever
- Some rather jaunty vandalism and…
- Ample parking
GEORGE STREET
While not nearly as impressive as its neighbor to the south, it has not been left unscathed. Case in point:
Nothing say “Howdy neighbor” like a five foot tall fence condoning off the entire frontage of your house.
EVERGREEN AVENUE
Ass = Big ass Fedders Special + Big ass cars parked out front
But enough of this penny ante shit! Let’s see us a— how should I say— more statuesque example of Fedderization, shall we?
STOCKHOLM STREET SYNDROME
This one really needs to be seen in person to be appreciated.
But this detail should give you some idea of the delights that await you if you decide to make this monolith your home.
Let’s finish off this week’s installment of Fedder’s Friday with a bang by giving honorable mention to this bad boy on Troutman Street!
Granted, it possesses no Fedders boxes whatsoever but it embodies the spirit of Fedderization.
This is the entrance. The developers left nothing to chance: this gate is a full six feet tall.
Drive safely!
Miss Heather
Affordable Housing In Greenpoint
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
A number of you who live south of the BQE are undoubtedly familiar with this building. It is the former station house for the 87th Precinct. What you may not know is it is slated to become affordable housing! When I walked by this —one of the most beautiful edifices the Garden Spot has to offer— this week I made a joyous discovery: it already has its first tenant!
One of the purposes of providing affordable housing is to give people of more modest means a nice place to live without having to sell the shirt of their back.
Or would that be pants? The more eagle-eyed among probably spy a bottle of vodka in the background. This is what I call living large!
Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz had it right when she said:
There’s no place like home!
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Photo du Jour: The Flying Nun
Filed under: Williamsburg
From Devoe Street.
Miss Heather
Volunteers Needed At McGolrick Park Dog Run!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Jeff Sandrund, the new Parks point person for things north Brooklyn has generously provided the McCarren Park dog run with new bark chips. The catch? The McGolick PArk dog run group needs help spreading them!
WHAT: Chip spreading
WHEN: Saturday, April 26 at 11:00 a.m.
WHERE: McGolrick Park Dog Run
For more information about this or the numerous other things the McGolrick Park dog run has cooking (like a run for small dogs, for example), contact Rob Maher at:
rob (at) kaschiduds (dot) com
Woof!
Miss Heather
East Williamsburg Photo du Jour: In Bloom!
Filed under: Williamsburg
From Cooper Park.
Miss Heather
Au Revoir, Rat King
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
It is with a heavy heart that I announce that 79 Kingland Avenue (AKA: The home of the Garden Spot’s very own Rat King) has finally succumbed to condomania.
Kate writes:
On Monday or Tuesday the big tree in front got cut down and someone put a R.I.P. sign on the stump. And today, all the windows were boarded up and there is a wooden fence around the house. I have a picture from today. It might be too many pixels, plus the colors are a little weird. I can send if you want.
All the pigeons that used to sit in the tree don’t know what to do.
It will be interesting to see what happens next. Plans were filed with the Department of Buildings to construct a seven story residential apartment building on this site. They were disapproved.
I am going to miss that tree. It was one of the most beautiful and eccentric ones to be found in this neighborhood. That’s “progress” for you!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Peekaboo!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Franklin Street.
Miss Heather
Hard Hat Hannah Struts Her Stuff
Ever since she learned about Ms. Lancaster’s resignation, Hard Hat Hannah has been on my case.
Hannah: I want to see some of these work sites. I’ve been through rehab. I’m OK.
Miss H: Are you sure you can take it?
Hannah: BRING IT ON!
So I took her to Orient Avenue.
First up, 59:
Hannah: This house gives me the creeps.
Miss H: I’ve got your back. Let’s go in!
I detect some vandalism on this fence.
She said. To wit I asked:
What does it say?
OOH A SECRET!
NO WAY!
Yes way
Hannah then proclaimed:
This property is no secret. Per the Department of Buildings it is to be bricked up and fenced off. What’s more, I find this…
shoddy fence most disturbing. Anyone and their dog can get in here!
Miss H: It would appear someone already has.
Hannah: Dammit!
Miss H: Let’s head down the street to 11 Orient, it’s a total shit hole.
Wow, this fence wasn’t here the last time I walked by. I wonder what happened?
Hannah: They got hit with two Stop Work Orders, that’s what!
Miss H: You go, Hannah!
Hannah:
The inspector who filled out this form made two egregious errors:
- Naming Marie Russo as the owner and
- MGM Demo as the contractor
I have seen this shit time and time again. The real author behind this disaster is none other than Marie Grasso and MMG Design!
What else can I say? Miss Hannah may be small, but she’s one damned good sleuth! What’s more, only a raging village of idiots could secure a demolition permit 4/16/08 only to get slapped with a Stop Work Order six days later.
Way to go, Grasso!
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
You must be logged in to post a comment.