Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Bed Stuy Photo du Jour: A Word Meaning Female Dog
Filed under: Bed-Stuy
From Macon Street.
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Photo du Jour: K.K.K.
Filed under: Williamsburg
From Bedford Avenue.
Miss Heather
“East Williamsburg” Photo du Jour: Stagg Street
The force of change in north Brooklyn is currency.
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Photo du Jour: North 6 Street
Filed under: Williamsburg
Welcome to the new Williamsburg. I have no doubt developers will be tripping over each other to include this piece of urban grit in their advertising campaigns.
Miss Heather
Cold War Style On A Capitalist Budget!
Filed under: Williamsburg
Last weekend I had the honor of attending my first baby shower. Since it was conducted in Southside “Billyburg” and a sunny Saturday afternoon was mine for the taking I opted to walk. One block before I reached my destination I encountered this piece of newly fabricated Cold War glory.
Or is it new? It depends on what one considers “new”. According to the Department of Buildings this was once a story building housing an auto body shop. Now it is slated to become an artist studio. Don’t believe me? Click here and read for yourself.
Nonetheless, this building bears all the qualities necessary to make our proletarian pals proud.
Institutional sheet metal front door.
A lookout post. Good luck getting artillery or tear gas past this bad boy. This baby was built to last (the Cultural Revolution, that is).
Lastly, this building sports the medium of choice for many a Communist era masterpiece: LARGE QUANTITIES OF CEMENT. All this building needs is a little rebar and hurricane wire perched atop the roof and hello East Berlin! I’d be reluctant to call 311 about this property if I were its neighbor. They might sic the Stasi on you.
In the spirit that is the Enver Hoxha Awards for Outstanding Achievement in Architecture, I give this building comrade five full bunkers!
And one honorary Cylon.
Miss Heather
The Pay Phones of Bedford Stuyvesant
Filed under: Bed-Stuy
Every neighborhood has its defining characteristics. This is what I have learned as I have expanded my geographical horizons and begun exploring more neighborhoods. Bushwick can be trusted to possess virtually no garbage cans whatsoever. Greenpoint always sports the largest number of discarded liquor bottles. Bedford Stuyvesant probably has the most dubious distinction of all: a disproportionately large number of vandalized pay phones. Follows is an honor roll of the latest victims in this neighborhood’s war against the telecommunications industry.
#1 Lewis Avenue
Observations: Crime scene tape has been wrapped around the receiver, “Jesus Saves” is inscribed above the coin slot and (although it is difficult to see in the above photo) someone attempted to set said device on fire.
#2 Macon Street
Observations: This one is more “artistic” in nature than its predecessor. Some aspiring artiste has spray painted the key pad and instructions blue. The receiver has been balanced on the lock securing this pay phone for added visual interest. A final flourish of communication commentary has been made with the addition of a solitary postage stamp.
#3 Bedford Avenue
Observations: Someone has eviscerated the receiver. No frills but cunning in its simplicity.
Which one is your favorite pay phone? I’m leaning towards #2.
Miss Heather
Caption This Crap!
I found this select piece of Feddertecture recently on Putnam Avenue in Bedford Stuyvesant. As you can see a mural once graced the building next door but being the arbiter of good taste this developer was, he saw fit to build over it. Sort of. It looks like these children are headed for a madcap adventure in Fedderland.
Miss Heather
East Williamsburg Don’t Play
Yesterday I found this (accidental?) homage to yours truly on Evergreen Avenue. I have to confess, it made me smile.
All the way down to the woman’s legs gracing the sign for the “East Williamsburg Valley Industrial Development Corporation” I felt welcome. East Williamsburgers have a real knack for making a person feel right at home. Their hospitality and graciousness are truly beyond compare. I learned this when I knocked around their fair burgh yesterday. Read on, dear readers, and you too will become a believer.
Montrose Avenue
Skeletons brandishing their own eyeballs are not just for Halloween here.
Boerum Street
If you have some bottled up anger, let it out. You’ll feel much better afterwards.
McKibben Street
But please try to be concise. We New Yorkers are busy folk. Time is money!
Keep it short, sweet and to the point like this guy.
Siegel Street
And don’t forget what your mother taught you. When asking your neighbors to refrain from leaving their dog’s excrement on your property be sure to use the magic word: fuck you.
Miss Heather
Best Apartment Ad Ever
Filed under: Bed-Stuy
I don’t know about you but all the glowing rhetoric to be found in today’s real estate ads leaves me cold. The word “luxury” is thrown around with such abandon as to render it virtually meaningless. Who the hell can afford “luxury” nowadays anyway? Not me. I wish the shills pushing lower tier housing would wake up, ditch the bullshit and get real. Like this guy.
“Who needs marketers, ad campaigns, or even Craigslist?” the owner of this building thought to himself. “Fuck Madison Avenue. I have a can of spray paint and that’s all I need to get the word out.”
After all, who wants scenic views, jacuzzi bath tubs or even Fresh Direct refrigerators when he (or she) can live next door to the “Hardee Hardee”?
Miss Heather
Bushwick Photo du Jour: Broadway
Filed under: Bushwick
To bastardize a song from Depeche Mode: It’s your own expert penis.
Feeling unknown
And you’re all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
It’ll make you a believer
Miss Heather
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