Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Introducing the Envers
Today I have a very special treat to share with you, dear readers: the first installment of the Enver Hoxha Awards for Outstanding Achievement in Architecture, or “The Envers” for short. Who is Enver Hoxha and what does he have to do with architecture, you ask? Read on and learn for yourself!
Enver Hoxha (per Wikipedia):
…was the leader of Albania from the end of World War II until his death in 1985, as the First Secretary of the Communist Albanian Party of Labour. He was also Prime Minister of Albania from 1944 to 1954 and Minister of Foreign Affairs from 1946 to 1953. Hoxha’s rule was characterized by isolation from the rest of Europe and his proclaimed firm adherence to anti-revisionist Marxist-Leninism, which has been dubbed “Hoxhaism”. Albania’s government of the time projected the image that it had emerged from semi-feudalism to become an industrialized state…
And lest we forget, the following are without argument Mr. Hoxha’s most lasting contributions to the field of architecture:
Hoxha’s legacy also included a complex of over 600,000 one-man concrete bunkers across a country of 3 million inhabitants, to act as look-outs and gun emplacements. The bunkers were built strong and mobile, with the intention that they could be easily placed by a crane or a helicopter in a previously dug hole. The types of bunkers vary from machine gun pillboxes, beach bunkers, to naval underground facilities, and even Air Force Mountain and underground bunkers. There were over 700,000 pillboxes built and around 500,000 pillboxes were reported to still be in good condition and ready to serve in case of war.
In keeping with his Soviet comrades counterparts, Mr. Hoxha’s bunker fetish spilled over into the civilian sector. The effects of this concrete chic ranged anywhere from a hodgepodge of disharmonious architectural elements…
to rustic rusting institutional…
and last, but hardly least: downright hideous.
Now that we have had a primer in Albanian Communist Dictators and reviewed some breathtaking examples of Albanian architecture, let’s get down to business. My criteria for assessing the “Enverness” of a given building are as follows:
- The visual aesthetics of said building are in keeping with the Soviet era.
- The construction quality of said building is akin to something built during the cold war. Extensive use of cement is a plus.
- A combination of architectural styles employed in a manner whose end product is anything but pleasing to the eyes. BIG PLUS.
In addition, I will be featuring a rating system called “the bunkers”. On a scale of one to five (with five being full-blown Tirana), the more bunkers a building gets, the more Enver-like are its qualities.
The previous all having been said, let us proceed with today’s Enver Award for Outstanding Achievement in Architecture:
This splendid example of the International style (and by this I mean Communist International style) is a proletarian paradise.
Mismatched paint, a masterful knowledge of the manifold shades of gray, windowless sheet metal doors and only five stops from Manhattan?!? That’s like living behind the iron curtain but without all the fuss. You can live in a rusting hulk of Soviet caliber crap and wear your Yankee blue jeans at the same time. What a concept!
The fence polishes off this gulag nicely. I wonder if its underlying intent is to keep people out of this property or to keep them in? If it is the latter, I guess today the prisoners got a furlough.
All in all, this is pretty damned Enveresque. I will, however, have to knock off a point for the relative kemptness of the balconies and effort made to conceal the satellite dishes on the roof. All in all, I give 58 Ten Eyck four bunkers.
Stay tuned, there are even more cold war beauties awaiting an Enver nod from the very same block!
Miss Heather
Photo Credits: All Albanian photographs save the bunker, Jim Rees.
Albanian Bunker, Wikipedia.
The Hunchback of Sharon Street
Filed under: Williamsburg
If any of you have the opportunity I strongly recommend you check out Cooper Park. This little known gem is located across the street from the Greenpoint Hospital on Maspeth Avenue between Olive Street and Morgan Avenue. When you go there you will notice that unlike its sister to the north (McCarren) this park is not encircled by condominiums.
What’s more, a short stroll down Orient Avenue will reveal some of the nicest architecture this neighborhood has to offer. And then you have this.
In keeping with the spirit of the times the owner at 38 Sharon Street decided a mere 1,149 square feet one family house was not enough. To this end they decided to erect a second floor.
Or would that be third floor? It is kind of hard to tell. When I looked up the registration for this property on HPD it indicated this was a one story building. Very curious.
But one could argue the semantics of what makes a one or two story building for hours on end to no avail. There is one thing I can assert with 100% certainty: a neighbor of this eyesore is not the least bit happy and has made his (or her) discontentment known to the Department of Buildings.
Miss Heather
Photo du Jour: Mixed Signals in Bed-Stuy
Filed under: Bed-Stuy
I found this piece of product placement on Tompkins Avenue right around the corner from the Myrtle – Willoughby stop of the G. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but topping a mural pleading forgiveness with a poster advertising the movie “Hitman” sort of defeats the point.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Meeker Avenue
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This sign graces a florist. I have no idea whatsoever what the numbers are regarding: it isn’t the address. Hmm…
Miss Heather
Homeland Security
Filed under: Bushwick
The one thing that continues to fascinate me about the real estate industry is the lengths agents will go to spin an unattractive property in an unappealing location. And as I learned on Stanhope Street recently, they are not above throwing in a bit patriotism for good measure.
Note the name: Homeland Realty. I am supposing this is designed to convey a sense of security to the potential buyer. I for one find this tactic to be ill-founded. The biggest selling point for this property, in actuality, resides right across the street!
Nothing says “gracious home” like a couple of skulls, a disembodied ass (wearing a thong, no less) and a homemade mace. Those drapes look familiar. I wonder if they bought them at Ikea?
Miss Heather
P.S.: Oh yeah, after you move into your new home you might want to make the acquaintance of another neighbor who lives around the corner on Evergreen Avenue.
I can’t wait to see what kind of housewarming casserole these folks whip up.
It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Filed under: Bushwick
Let’s pretend you are the landlord of the above property. How would you add value to an otherwise drab building situated only a bong-toss away from the J/M/Z subway line?
Hang some hubcaps in it. Duh!
In fact, why not throw in a tire for good measure?
Inasmuch as it pains me to say it, the hubcaps actually do make this mess of electrical meters more attractive.
Miss Heather
Lost!!!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I came across the above flier this morning on Franklin Street. As it would happen, my colleague at The Gowanus Lounge and I not only saw this very briefcase on our latest walk, but he was thoughtful enough to take a photograph of it.
If you have seen this briefcase (or picked it up thinking it was free for the taking) please return it to:
The St. Anthony-St Alphonsus Church
862 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
or give Deacon Martinez a ring at the telephone number listed on the flier.
Thanks!
Miss Heather
Photo Credit: The Gowanus Lounge
THIS WEEK: Newtown Creek Stink
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Speaking as someone who remembers the rather *a-hem* robust cologne Greenpoint was rocking last summer and has seen how truly deplorable Newtown Creek is firsthand, this is a must-do event.
Polish Slavic Center
177 Kent Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 383-5290
Why not make an evening of it and have dinner at their cafeteria first? I’ve heard the meatloaf is delicious.
Miss Heather
Moore Street Market, Revisited
After mentioning this establishment in a post last week I thought it would be fun to learn a little bit about its history— especially in light of the fact that the future of the Moore Street Market looks very cloudy nowadays. Per the June 13, 2007 edition of the New York Daily News:
…the city’s Economic Development Corp. had suddenly notified 20 merchants who operate in the cavernous Moore St. market in Williamsburg that the building was to close June 15 to make way for new affordable housing.
After decades at the same location, the merchants were furious at the city’s bullying tactics.
“At first, they offered us $20 a square foot for our businesses and told us we had 20 minutes to make up our minds,” recalled Virgilio Rodriguez, owner of Ramonita’s Restaurant and head of the merchants group. “No papers, nothing in writing. Just get out, they said.”
The bureaucrats at EDC didn’t even have the common sense to consult the local community board about the city’s plans to demolish the market – something required by city land use laws.
The good news is this market was spared closure for another year. The bad news is this year ends June 2008. Will it survive or will it be razed to build “affordable housing”? I guess we will find out soon enough.
Follows is an article from the July 29, 1941 edition of the New York Times about the opening of the Moore Street Market. Not only was the turnout for this event enormous, but New York’s very own Fiorello La Guardia was master of ceremonies. Enjoy!
Here is the plaque at Moore Street Market commemorating this event.
You can find it inside the Moore Street entrance to your left.
Miss Heather
i-FORCE
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
One thing I have noticed about Greenpointers (and Polish men in particular) over the years is they love large automobiles. Whereas public transportation or a Honda Civic would pass muster with an average person, these chaps demand Humvees, pick-up trucks or S.U.V.s. The bigger, the better. Last weekend I came upon one such vehicle on Nassau Avenue. Amused by the sheer size of this gas guzzler, I went in for a closer look.
Nothing declares “Ask me about my castration anxiety” like bright red paint job and a placard emblazoned with the phrase “i-Force”. I cannot believe professionals are paid to come up with this stuff. Seriously. Give me five minutes and a copy of Penthouse Forum and I’ll come up with a dozen pieces of ad copy better than this.
No wonder this gent is worried about his balls: they’re tiny! Those fellas sure look awfully cold. He should knit them a nice little cozy to keep them warm.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Testicular trucks should hardly be surprising coming from the neighborhood which invented “Snoodling”.
NYS Flickr Pool
