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Poop No More
I found this rather choice dog shit sign on Clay Street last week. For those of you who are not proficient in Spanish, “Poopi no mas” roughly translates as “Poop no more” in English.
This would be a damned good band name. Too bad I have almost no musical ability whatsoever or I’d start a band and christen it “Poop No More”.
Otherwise, what started as a modest 4-5 slide PowerPoint presentation outlining my findings from September 20, 2006 has mushroomed into 13 slide magnum opus as of writing this post. It is quite an extraordinary piece of work. I hope to have it up this evening or tomorrow at the very latest.
Miss Heather
Dung of the Day Epiphany
Last week I saw a piece of dog shit and it has been troubling me ever since. It looked familiar, but I could not for the life of me figure out why. This morning after three cups of coffee and five minutes of Googling, this mystery got solved.
In case you are wondering, the above still is from the movie “Mothra”. Before he (?) became the moth we have grown to know and love, he was a larva. That is what you are seeing in this picture: baby Mothra.
I do not know what disturbs me more, the simple fact that I have this knowledge or that it was not acquired after smoking large amounts of grass. I was in total control of my faculties when I viewed this movie (unlike damned near everyone else I know).
Yeah, I’m a freak.
Miss Heather
Dung of the Day: Jabba The Shitt
I found today’s Dung of the Day while poking around my old nabe (far north Greenpoint). Although I found a bounty of prodigiously large canine bowel movements, I felt this little guy had a certain je nais se quois worth sharing.
Charts, statistics and a Crap Map will be forthcoming.
Miss Heather
Dung of the Day: 110 Green Street
I have never been a big fan of soup with dumplings. Today’s “Dung of the Day” has ensured that this culinary quirk of mine will not change in the foreseeable future. Bon appetit!
Miss Heather
Dung of the Day
I found this cutie pie in my inbox today.
“Fred Sanford” wrote:
I almost stepped on this upstanding turd this morning while in Canarsie, near the intersection of E. 103rd and Flatlands 6th Street. While initially (and understandably) glad that I’d avoided it, closer inspection revealed a particularly well-formed, gravity-defying specimen that I just knew I had to alert you to.
Thanks Fred!
Sincerely,
Aunt Esther
Kibbles and Shits
Today I got my very first reader submission and it is a nice one. “Ash” wrote:
I found this little gem of a composition on Jewel Street, just off of Nassau. The address was probably like 47 or 49 or something around there. I liked the wet cat food nearby… gives it that special something, no?
The date was September 6th. My dog showed no interest, but she rarely shows interest in shit. Which I guess is a blessing.
Yes indeedy.
Miss Heather
September 5, 2006 Dung of the Day
I found this gargantuan pile (?) of shit at 222 Franklin St. Even I would not go near this one (as Dirty Harry would say “a good woman always knows her limitations”), but to give you a sense of scale, most of it is piled atop a 2″ x 6″.
It’s a big one alright— and by far the most repulsive specimen I have found to date. Given that I have spent over five months tracking dog shit*, that is saying something.
Miss Heather
*and coming across the occasional human bowel movement, like this one.
Dung of the Day: 124 Green St.
Dog #1 (to Dog #2): You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
Dog #2 (to Dog #1): No, you got your peanut butter in my chocolate!
Dog #1 and #2 (after sniffing each other’s butts, in unison): mmmmmm, DELICIOUS!
Miss Heather
August 31, 2006 Dung of the Day
Here it is.
Before some of you (and you know who you are) get your ethnically sensitive panties in a wad, I’d like to point out:
- I am only making light of this turd’s resemblance to a piece of statuary which represents a stereotypical sleeping Mexican.
- This is a lawn ornament which some (still) see fit to put in their front yards. Even in New England.
- So who is the bigger bigot, me or the people who actually sell/buy this shit? Why not throw in a few ‘coolies’, watermelon-eating ‘pickanninies’ or artificially thin, fake titted/fake blond broads for good measure? It’s all the same to me: degradation, exploitation and stereotypes.
Miss Heather
August 30, 2006 Crap Map
As promised, here is the Crap Map for August 30, 2006.
Here is a map which highlights my primary area of interest…
…and here is a pie chart that gives a general run-down of where I found dog shit.
Although I did not conduct my fact-finding mission at the time my tipster recommended (9:30 p.m.), it was still a pretty substantial haul in terms of both quantity and sheer mass. I will definitely keep my eye on this area from now on!
Miss Heather
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