Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
New York Shitty Day Ender: A Very Greenpoint Bedtime Story
It recently came to my attention that the owner of T & N Wine, a fabulously cranky man named Chris, has rolled out a real doozy of a Thanksgiving display. Among the items employed are eighteen artfully placed bottles of Wild Turkey 101 (any less proof would be an insult to the Garden Spot of the Universe) and one very real— and anatomically correct— turkey.
I have written about this already. Yet none of my readers seems to have noticed this curiously (and, it should be noted, prodigiously) endowed fowl. No worries, the local population has. This display has literally stopped passersby in mid-stride. I learned this earlier today— noon, to be exact— when I was out running errands.
A 40-something gentleman exits T & N after making his lunch-time acquisition of spirits (vodka as best as I could tell— every hour is happy hour on Manhattan Avenue). He stops, looks at the window and laughs. LOUDLY.
Me: Nice, eh?
Man: Yes, very nice.
Me: As you can see that turkey is a male.
Man: It is?
Me: Yeah, look at it.
Man (looks, a puzzled expression clouds his face): How do you know it is male?
Me: Look closer at the turkey.
Man: ???
Me (getting exasperated): LOOK AT IT’S CROTCH— or what’s left of it, anyway.
Man (looks closer): AHAHAHAHAHA! Very funny.
Me: I told you that turkey is, uh was, a male.
Man: You are a very nice lady. Would you like to go for a drink… or a cup of coffee?
Me: It’s nice of you to offer but I have to be somewhere. Soon.
Man: You are a very nice lady. STAY THAT WAY! (wanders off laughing to himself)
The End.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Bodega Watch: OPEN!
True to the proprietor’s word the Mini Mart Deli Grocery at 1068 Manhattan Avenue is open for business!
Intrigued by the palette containing ten pound bags of onions for a $1.99 (a bargain at twice the price) I went inside to see what’s up. It is still very much a work in progress— but all the essentials are there, e.g.; coffee, tea, toiletries and the like. There were also a couple surprises:
- The (admittedly limited) produce section sports some of the freshest veggies I have ever seen north of Green Street.
- A vast assortment of Indian sweets graces the space next to the cash register. When I went to purchase my $1.00 extra large cup of tea (per the owner this was a “special grand opening offer”) a woman was busy selecting her confection of choice. It was a time-consuming decision (hey, I understand) but she was pleased with her choice. And the proprietor, who is a very nice guy, promised her a free cup of coffee in return for her patronage.
This same gentleman assured me he will be stocking a vast array of “heat and eat” Indian foodstuffs (starting at buck a pop) for north Greenpointer’s (24 hour) delectation. I can hardly wait!
Mini Mart Deli Grocery
Opening Date: NOW!
1068 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
And that’s all she wrote.
Miss Heather
Reader Contribution Du Jour: Smoothies?
This, the latest business to occupy the space formerly known as Subs Ur Way (and Dixie), comes courtesy of Caryn. Still no word on what’s going to be next door. In any case I hope this business will last longer than its predecessor. The game of musical storefronts at 821 Manhattan Avenue has become so convoluted even I am having trouble keeping up!
Miss Heather
P.S.: I have a confession to make. At a casual glance I thought those grapefruit halves were boobs. Methinks the Greenpoint glory that is the anatomically correct Thanksgiving display at T & N Wines is getting to me.
Burglary On Green Street?
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
It has not been a good month for Neer, better known to many of you as one of the lovely ladies who works at A.J. Farms bodega at Green Street and Manhattan Avenue. First it was the catnap and subsequent return of Larry the cat (who can be seen at left). Now her apartment has been burglarized! But this is a lot more disturbing than a mere act of theft— as I learned when I spoke to her last night. Here’s a basic rundown of what happened.
The incident came to pass at 5:00 a.m. last Saturday morning. Here sister awakened to see a man looking around her room. She asked who was there and the man (who was described as being about six feet tall) bolted. They searched the apartment and noticed a number of items of value were missing, including her i-Phone. Neer called it twice. The first time she got no answer. The second time a voice said:
Manhattan and India, ATM, florist
Not wishing to put herself in danger, Neer did not go the location in question. She called the police. However, she later received a call from the florist: they had found her cell phone at the ATM in question. This has since been returned to her.
As you can imagine this incident has upset her tremendously. It’s bad enough to be robbed— but while you are sleeping? That’s just plain scary! Apparently the superintendent of the building in question added insult to injury by not seeming to be concerned. It has not been established whether or not the front door to her apartment was picked or if it had been left unlocked. B if you ask me that’s not terribly important all things considered: someone robbed her apartment while she, her sister and roommate slept!
Let this be a warning to you fellow readers: be mindful of who enters and exits your apartment building and make sure your front door is locked when you go to bed!
Miss Heather
Reader Contribution Du Jour: SH*T
Filed under: 11222, Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Jay Lombard (who discovered and forwarded me this lovely item) notes:
On eagle street… Just a turd’s throw from the shit tits
How very appropriate. What I want to know about is a dog that doesn’t shit!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: T & N Wine Gears Up For Turkey Day!
Filed under: 11222, Advanced Life Forms, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Chris has really outdone himself this time.
This here is the real Greenpoint, folks— and don’t you forget it!
Miss Heather
Reader Question/Contribution Du Jour: A Wreck On Dupont?
Margot writes (in an email entitled “very scary looking smashup on Dupont”):
right now between manh. and mcguin. lots of uniforms, firetrucks, and one absolutely demolished looking car. i dont know how fast youd have to be going to end up looking like that. no idea what happened or whom it happened to. sorry, no photos.
Well, as it would happen my buddy Laura (who took all photographs gracing this post) was on the scene and has the scoop.
And what a scoop it is.
She writes:
…I’m sorry that these are not the clearest pictures. I’m still getting used to the camera settings. I also didn’t reset the time on the photo. These photos were taken more like 4:35Â and on. At 4:30 there were a few large crashes that rumbled the building so much that I felt it on the fifth floor. I heard that the vehicle got stuck in reverse from the second parking spot on the block, onto the sidewalk and past a few buildings. Thank God, few people were out front and were able to get out of the way. There’s usually loads of people hanging out there. Apparently, the vehicle first banged that grey car which banged the yellow car… As you can see the vehicle ended up on the stoop a few doors down. It took police over a half hour to respond. They wouldn’t even bother looking under the vehicle to see if there was anyone under it. A neighbor from the building got a flashlight and looked. Folks were worried and making sure everyone was accounted for. The vehicle took out the wrought iron recycling fence in front of my building. After many, many phone calls from many people, the fire department also arrived at 5:18.
They’re still working downstairs.
Jesus Christ.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Rainy Day Cafe?
Tony (who took the above photographs) writes:
We stumbled upon this new place on N. Henry between Meeker (BQE) & Engert. It’s called Rainy Day Cafe and what brought me inside was a sign for Avocado Shakes. Inside, we met the owner & chef, kinda of a camera-shy dude named Nestor whose creations come from Bali cuisine, but also felt a lot like a cafe you might find in California. The smoothie was made with fresh ginger, organic rice milk, avocado, honey & ice and was pretty tasty. He also makes dinner and it seats probably about 10 people total. It’s definitely a completely random little place and not sure that many people have noticed it yet.
I certainly haven’t! Thanks for giving us the head’s up. I know where I’ll be going tomorrow— rain or shine!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: A Greenpoint Avenue PSA
This evening the Mister and I took a good friend of ours out to dinner. We met at the B24 bus stop at the intersection of Greenpoint and Manhattan Avenue so as to sojourn to Sunnyside. As we were waiting the Mister found this.
These fliers are a dime a dozen in Greenpoint. The poster’s M.O. is consistent (if the message a bit daft): a flier is posted in Polish and beneath it is a flier in English. These are annotated with a Sharpie Marker to indicate what language is being employed. I have found these on buildings, derelict construction fences, call boxes. You name the flat surface and chances are one of these fliers is gracing it.
Truth be told I try to ignore them. I respect this person(s) opinion— he/she/they is entitled to it— but quite frankly I disagree. On some occasions I have the rhetoric contained in these missives to be downright offense. So I tune it out. Thankfully the Mister doesn’t engage in this practice. Tonight he found a real corker.
I want you to think about this fellow Greenpointers. Especially since it made me think of this:
I wonder if this is what happens when someone eats crabs from Newtown Creek (and they do. EAT CRABS. FROM NEWTOWN CREEK.)? I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.
Miss Heather
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