Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
A New York Shitty Op Ed: Banned From FB
(Or: How To Get a 24 Hour “Time Out” Courtesy of Facebook In Two Easy Steps)
It has not necessarily been an easy month for yours truly. This has been doubly the case the last few days; someone placed a particularly nasty piece of code into this web site thus directing it to a host of spam/phishing sites. It took the Mister two days to finally track it down and eradicate it. The result is what you are seeing now. I assure you, dear readers, this format merely temporary. But I digress.
We were not alone in this endeavor to rid New York Shitty of its “guest”. A very nice lady named Lisanne helped us and to this end she and I dialoged via Facebook as the Mister worked furiously until late into the night. Wishing to thank her, I tried to log onto Facebook yesterday morning (so as to shoot her a message). This was the missive which awaited me:
For those of you who are not in the know, this is not the first time I have been admonished for violating Facebook’s “Statement of Rights & Responsibilities”. This was my second strike. I’m not too certain what happens on “strike three” but I imagine I will find out soon enough.
What precipitated my first run-in with the Facebook Police, you ask? The answer will amuse you: Michele Bachmann. More specifically, this rather hideous photo of her eating a corn dog.
When I first spied this photo on Copyranter I cringed. Then I started laughing fiendishly with utter abandon. I was of the distinct impression that the more people who knew about/saw this image, the better. So I made it my avatar. It was a big hit— but alas, I got “caught”. I was given a warning by Facebook and forced to review their rules. Without further ado, here they are:
I’ll be perfectly frank: I stopped reading at “Bullying and Harassment”. The thought of (successfully) bullying Mrs. Bachmann— who has made more than a few people miserable herself— felt too damned good. Instead, I mulled the matter over and came to the conclusion that if this photo was flagged it was, perchance, because the “flagger” in question was a Rick Perry fan. So I decided to oblige him/her with a new avatar! I aim to please.
I know what you’re thinking:
This is what got Heather in trouble with Facebook!
No, it wasn’t. In fact, this was my avatar until last night. Mr. Perry administering “services” to Michelangelo’s “Adam” was somehow overlooked. Go figure. But before I give the reveal as to what happens when you cross Facebook twice (and tender an unobstructed image of the offending item) I would like to take a moment to review a few items I have posted which Facebook did not find objectionable:
This post (regarding the hysteria on non-Hurricane Irene) passed muster.
As did this. So employing a slang term for ejaculate is A-ok. Following me so far, folks? Excellent!
Memorializing a tree that looks like a “lady flower”? “No problem!” says Facebook!
Here’s the deal folks: we’re all adults. I suspect I speak on the behalf of the adult community when I write that being punished for a second infraction of Facebook’s (seemingly arbitrary) rules by being given a 24 hour “time out” (READ: being blocked from uploading any content or commenting on posts) is, well, childish. And this is exactly what happened yesterday:
I was then directed (once again) to their read “Community Standards”.
To recap:
1. No Threats
2. No Promoting Self Harm
3. Bullying & Harassment
4. Hate Speech
5. Graphic Violence
6. Sex & Nudity
7. Theft, Vandalism or Fraud
8. Identity & Privacy
9. Intellectual Property
10. Phishing & Spam
Are all covered in the 10 Commandments of Facebook. I want you, gentle readers, to keep these in mind when viewing what precipitated my 24 hour banishment from the their community. Drum roll please…
A photograph of one of my shoes into which one of our cats was kind enough to discharge a hairball. I’m not making this up.
New York Shitty analysis: I see lots of objectionable content online and on Facebook in particular. Instead of crying “moral outrage” and advocating censorship I simply vote with my point and clicks. In other words: I go elsewhere. Is a photo of a hairball-laden piece of footwear truly worthy of censure folks? Sure, it is disgusting— but still? After giving the matter some thought (which I am guessing was the purpose of this whole exercise: penance) I have concluded it wasn’t. In fact, I am going to conclude this post with a message to Facebook. Realizing it is “off-color” I have taken the liberty of punishing myself in advance in true Facebook “form”: a bar of Irish Spring right in the ol’ kisser!
Suck it.
Update, October 1, 2011: But apparently making light of rape and deriding rape victims is okay per Facebook. Go figure.
From The North Brooklyn Community Group: Light On The Inlet
Much has been made of Bring To Light, which is slated to grace our waterfront this upcoming weekend. So much so, that I do not think it merits further attention here. However there is an event coinciding with it that I feel compelled to pass along: Light On The Inlet. Here’s a run-down per one of the organizers, Stephen Zacks:
A community event at the site of the future home of The Greenpoint Monitor Museum, produced in conjunction with Bring to Light 2011 – Nuit Blanche New York, will feature The Greenpoint Monitor Museum, Sons of Union Veterans of the Civil War, Oliver Tilden Camp No. 26, and The Depressionaires.
The public will have a rare opportunity to visit scenic Bushwick Inlet, a cove on the East River accessible at the end of Quay Street in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. The Greenpoint Monitor Museum will dedicate a sign to the 150th Anniversary of the Civil War and the Museum’s 15th Anniversary while identifying the place as the site of its future home honoring Greenpoint’s history. Funds for the sign were obtained through Assemblyman Joseph Lentol, and a donation from the Greenpoint Lions Club covered a sign support system and installation on land donated by Motiva Enterprises.
The first of a series of USS Monitor and Civil War 150th anniversary events celebrating the “Laying of the Keel of the USS Monitor,” Light on the Inlet will feature Civil War tents, uniforms, artifacts, photos, video projection of archival materials, and live music by the Sons of Union Veterans of the Civil War, Oliver Tilden Camp No. 26 and The Depressionaires.
Event commences at 2:00 PM
3:00 PM – Unveiling of the Museum’s Site Sign
At 4 PM and sunset (~ 6:39) – The Depressionaires perform polkas, waltzes, and popular songs from another time.
Check it out!
Light On The Inlet
October 1, 2011 starting at 2:00 p.m.
Monitor Museum Site (roughly Quay Street at West Street)
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Williamsburg Photos du Jour: North 12 Street Pastoral, Revisited
It would appear this squat-cum-art installation has received a few new additions.
From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Lorimer Street
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Taken by Miss Mousey Brown.
LAST GASP: A Hold-Up At Dunkin Donuts?
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
This item comes courtesy of an anonymous tipster who opines: “I guess they mean the 25th?”
The New York City Police Department is seeking the public’s assistance in identifying and locating the following suspect wanted in connection with an armed Robbery that occurred within the confines of the 94 Precinct. Details are as follows:
On Sunday, September 29, 2011 at approximately 0015 hours an unknown suspect entered the Dunkin’ Donuts located at 356 McGuinness Boulevard, approached a worker at the register and demanded cash while displaying a silver firearm. The suspect fired the gun once, striking a shelf behind the counter. The suspect then fled the store, with an undetermined amount of cash, northbound on McGuinness Boulevard. No injuries were reported.
The suspect is described as a male, Black or Hispanic, approximately 20 to 25 years old, 5′ 10″ to 6’02”, medium build, wearing a Yankees baseball cap, a button-down shirt with red, black and white stripes, dark jeans and black sneakers.
A photo of the suspect is attached.
Anyone with information in regard to this incident is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-577-TIPS (8477). The public can also submit tips by logging onto the Crime Stoppers website at WWW.NYPDCRIMESTOPPERS.COM or by texting their tips to 274637 (CRIMES) then enter TIP577. All calls are strictly confidential.
From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Pancakes Still Needs A Home!
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
A lady named Leslie writes: Hi Heather,
I wanted to see if there was any way you could make a posting about a couple of kitties in the neighborhood that I’m trying to find homes for. You made a post about my little guy Pancakes (http://www.newyorkshitty.com/greenpoint-goodness/?p=41667) last year and it brought some interest my way, so I wondered if you might post it again? I’m still trying to find a home for him and his mom Daisy, who I found in a construction site by my apartment. They are both shy around new people, which I think is the main reason I’m still trying to find these two a home. Because they are both the sweetest of cats! Super playful, friendly and loving. I love having them around and would keep them myself if I didn’t already have too many kitties 🙂 Pancakes’ three brothers and sisters have found their permanent home and are doing great, and I can’t wait for him and Daisy to be lucky enough to find a permanent home as well.
I have a bunch of photos and more detail about them here.
Anything you could post, I would really appreciate it.
Done!
NYS Flickr Pool
You must be logged in to post a comment.