Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
Williamsburg Video Du Jour: Sunday Afternoon On Manhattan Avenue
Today’s example of developer blight comes courtesy of a smallish lot on Manhattan Avenue just north of Grand Street. What initially caught my eye was the “gate” to this site gently listing back and forth in the breeze. Having had a considerable amount of experience with illegal weekend construction I figured there would be workers busy hammering, sawing and riveting. As you will see this ended up not being the case.
Public safety hazard or a new jungle gym for neighborhood youth? I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Fun At The Junk Shop
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
The following was originally intended to be a “day-ender” on Thursday but due to circumstances beyond my control it has been relegated to “day starter” status Friday. Not that it diminishes the content in any way: it doesn’t.
It all started with this little plastic bag as displayed by my co-worker Steve.
It was an “Emergency Kit”. When this item was brought to the attention of the “Greenpoint Round Table” hilarity ensued.
As did a rather incisive view into the workings of the male mind.
CAVEAT:
- There is language in this clip you do NOT want your Human Resources Personnel/humorless cubicle monkeys to hear.
- All the featured players, e.g.; George Diaz, Kerry Bomb and I are comedians to one degree or another. Take it in jest. No offense is intended nor should be taken. We make fun of everyone, each other and ourselves, as you will see.
On with the show!
I worked ten years in corporate America before deciding it was not for me. There was something about that environment that never sat well with me. Perhaps it was the structure, hierarchy and artificial sense of geniality? Or was it having more stringent expectations placed upon me, a woman, regarding my personal conduct and appearance versus that of my male colleagues? Probably all of the above.
The previous having been written I am grateful to have been involved in the previous and admittedly vulgar dialog. I cherish above all things honesty. George Diaz was honest— if not politically correct— about his feelings regarding homosexuals and the transgendered. He was also being a comedian. It’s been my personal experience that people such as George are not the ones who propagate hate. It’s the ones who refuse to talk.
OR LISTEN.
Miss Heather
The Waterpod Cometh
This item comes courtesy of Laura Hofmann of GWAPP. What is the Waterpod, you ask? Here’s a description from its brand-spanking new web site:
Waterpodâ„¢ is a floating sculptural living structure designed as a new habitat for the global warming epoch. It is currently scheduled to launch in New York in May, 2009, from the Newtown Creek between Brooklyn and Queens, navigate down the East River, explore the waters of New York Harbor, and stopping at each of the five boroughs it will dock at several Manhattan piers on the Hudson River, then beyond.
As a sustainable, navigable living space, Waterpodâ„¢ showcases the critical importance of the environment and serves as a model for new living technologies. It illustrates positive interactions between communities: private and corporate; artistic and social; aquatic and terrestrial. Built from recycled and found materials, Waterpodâ„¢ is structured as a triple-domed island for: (i) community and artistic activity; (ii) eco-initiatives including food grown with purified water from the Hudson River; and (iii) living space…
You can read the rest by clicking here. Those of you who have ever wanted to live on Newtown Creek* (and you know who you are) this might be your golden opportunity!
Miss Heather
*albeit briefly
Image Credit: thewaterpod.org
NEXT WEEK: 4th Annual Walk & Ride
This item was forwarded to me by Ghost bikes. Although I do not operate a bicycle (or anything form of transportation sporting wheels), I have had a number of close calls as a pedestrian. And when I write “close” I mean landing on the hood of some gent’s car because he decided to make an illegal left-hand turn.* Ghost Bikes writes:
The NYC Street Memorial Project invites you to the 4th Annual Memorial Ride and Walk in remembrance of cyclists and pedestrians killed on the streets of NYC in 2008. The ride, which will be held on Sunday, January 4, 2009, has 4 starting points: Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and lower Manhattan.
Riders will visit the site of each ghost bike, a white-painted memorial for cyclists killed on the street, installed in New York City in 2008. They will join a Memorial Walk to honor pedestrians killed in the past year in lower Manhattan.
For more details (including who will be remembered and any possible changes in the itinerary) check out Ghost Bikes web site.
Miss Heather
P.S.: On a related note, it would appear that Community Board 1 did a little “housecleaning” of the Transportation Committee over the holidays. Ho. Ho. Ho. For the full scoop point and click you way over to the Gowanus Lounge.
*Being the good little citizen I am I brought this to the NYPD’s attention. They refused to investigate it despite the fact I:
- had his license plate number
- two witnesses and
- he left the scene of an accident.
Why, you ask? Because I was “not sufficiently injured”. ADVICE: if you have the misfortune of having the previous happen to you GO TO THE HOSPITAL. Even if your only injury is a bruise on your ass.
READ THIS FIRST
(Or some strangeness from the junk shop).
Yesterday The Thing had a customer with a most interesting request. He was seeking a thoroughly craptastic gift for five dollars or less. It was for his brother in law. I had honestly never given the matter any thought, but the good ol’ junk shop is an excellent place to purchase gifts for that not-so-special-someone: amongst all the treasure to be found are some items if, not outrightly repulsive, are downright odd. Yesterday proved to be no exception. I found an ancient, rusted out vaporizer, we agreed on the asking price of one whole dollar and our intrepid brother in law was on his merry way.
On that note I would like to share a couple choice discoveries I made at The Thing yesterday while rustling amongst the boxes (UPON BOXES) that were delivered recently. Enjoy!
1. One Bag of Floppy Disks With A Most Mysterious Note
I happened upon the note first.
This was a good thing as it enabled me to follow the author’s instructions to the letter. Let’s see what were are to read first, shall we? It looks pretty important.
Whoa dude! It’s one thing to toy with man’s life but his son’s puberty as well?!? As it would happen the Mister possesses a floppy disk reader. Guess what we will be doing this Christmas holiday? I can hardly wait.
Next up, I remember my parents telling that my Kindergarten class held a mock election in the aftermath of the Watergate scandal. Amusingly enough, my none-too-politically-aware classmates voted unanimously for Tricky Dick. I suppose that’s to be expected from a bunch of five year olds, but what about a grown adult who sees fit to erect a shrine to the man whose middle name is Milhous? Yup, you just read me correctly.
2. The Richard Milhous Nixon Shrine To Freedom
Methinks this will have to be made into a postcard. Or something. Ideas anyone?
Miss Heather
Fun With Internet Image Filchers
As time goes on I am getting more and more peevish at people who for lack of proper netiquette (be it out of ignorance, sense of entitlement or sheer laziness) use/upload my images without bothering to ask, much less giving proper citation(s) of said image(s). For those of you who are wondering, here is the proper protocol for using my images:
- ASK. In all likelihood I’ll say yes. What’s more I will be very grateful
- At the very least cite who captured said image. READ: me.
The previous having been said you can imagine my delight when I received this missive from fellow Greenpointer, nice guy and incredibly talented photographer: Kitchen Prof. He wrote:
Hey Heather
I ended up having some fun, and I thought I’d tell you about it. Since Alan Colmes is quitting “Hannity and Colmes,” the pictures of Colmes from a blog post I did a while ago have been “borrowed” by bloggers writing about it. So, I thought it might be entertaining to switch out MY pictures on THEIR blogs.
These extreme right wing clowns got their Colmes pictures replaced by W in a nice uniform (screen capture attached in case it’s gone when you see this).
As of last night this image has been replaced. However I saw its modified incarnation. It was quite something.
You can see a larger image by clicking here. What amused me about this act of image theft was the perpetrators didn’t even bother to download it: they linked to it directly. Thus enabling the Professor to have quite a bit of fun. And it didn’t stop there.
And the other picture I replaced another blog remains. Alan Colmes has become a large tuna…
the Professor wrote.
And as of the writing of this post it still does. But in the event it gets pulled down here it is.
So there have you. Let’s see how long it takes before I get angry missives from the proprietors* of these respective blogs. Regardless of your political inclinations, dear readers, grabbing images on the web without citing them is not very nice. Granted, we’re all guilty of this to some degree or another but let’s try to make the web a nicer place. Okay?
Miss Heather
*Let’s face facts: anyone who would propagate this kind of claptrap HAS to be male— and probably fantasizes about wearing a dog collar and eating from a dog dish. It has been my observation that the people who make these kinds of accusations do so because they’re guilty of it themselves. Or very much want to be.
Image Credits: Freedom Brothers Screencap courtesy of Kitchen Prof
Tis The Season: Kicking It Off!
It’s already beginning to look a lot like Christmas in and around the Garden Spot of the Universe. To this end I have decided to kick off my (hopefully) daily revue of Yuletide goodness from Greenpoint and beyond in grand style. In addition to featuring Christmas decor which graces homes I have decided to throw in some choice decorations from retail establishments. My reasons for doing so will become all too apparent later in this post. Enjoy!
This, my favorite Greenpoint feline from Kent Street, senses holiday spirit in the air!
Ever since this pharmacy (on Manhattan Avenue) featured a replica of the Empire State Building made of Fleet enema boxes back in 2002 I am always eager to see what they whip up.
While a bit of a disappointment (I mean, how could one honestly expect to top an edifice made of implements used to irrigate certain orifice?) this juxtaposition does have a certain charm.
However, if you want to get your sensuous Santa on make your way to the 7 train without delay and head over to Jackson Heights.
Why not get things started with a few naughty MAD LIBS underneath the mistletoe? As you can see it is a best seller at this Duane Reade (located at 73-01 37th Avenue). Need stocking stuffers? No worries. Roosevelt Avenue has ’em!
Who wouldn’t be delighted to receive this lovely work of art on Christmas Day (or at the office party)? I know I would! Of course such occasions demand proper apparel.
I don’t think I would want this chap coming down my chimney. What in god’s name has he stuffed in his pants? A bear claw?
HO! HO! HO!
What does this naughty little Santa’s helper hang on her bush, you ask?
Cock rings, anal beads and Spanish fly! DUH.
So you’ve got your Mad Libs, stripper sculpture (and/or other life style accessories), you and yours are dressed up and the Christmas tree is festooned with anal beads of many colors. You’re pimped up and ready to ho down. Now what?
The wine, of course. Yes, this bottle says exactly what you think it does.
Quite a bit(ch), as a matter of fact.
This libation can be found right here in Greenpoint at none other than Dandy Wine.
Home of Greenpoint’s foremost bitch: Miss Bonita.
Dandy Wine
153 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
Prostitutes… In More Ways Than One
It’s get cold out. You want some companionship. Or maybe some breasts and thighs. No worries. As I learned on Manhattan Avenue earlier this week “Antonio” has you covered.
It doesn’t get much more obvious than this. I wonder how old this woman is? 18? 19?
It gets even better on the flip side.
For shits and giggles I Googled the above telephone number. Here’s what I found:
Charming, yes? It gets even better! The topic of this forum is “Any of the $40.00 Latina Delivery Good? What if I decline?”
“Chocha lover” is a curious case. He’s too lazy to meet women so he brushes up on his Spanish via Babelfish, orders a girl and pops a “blue pill”. Hilarity ensues:
Last night around 1am I was feeling kinda horny (but too lazy to drive anywhere). So I went down the list of numbers from club goer (thanks BTW). Most of them didn’t pick up but I had a few that did. The first guy I got spoke only spanish. I tried talking to him in English but he got nervous (or frustrated) and hung up. So I decided to brush up on my Espanol which I haven’t practiced since High School so I used http://babelfish.yahoo.com/. (Despite my screenname I’m not Latino). I tried again with another number armed with a few phrases of broken spanish I learned moments before and english. “Quiero una chica. Cuanto cuesta? <I’d like a girl. How much?” 45 por 15 minutos “Ok Yo vivo en calle <street> y <street> <I live at such and such street>”. He told me 20 minutes. I said okay thinking he’d be here 20-40minutes. I popped a blue pill.. I was horny yet I wasnt really ready to rock out with my cock out. I waited.. and waited.. and waited. An hour goes by. I’m pissed off. I called the guy again telling him my address and asked what happened it was over an hour ago (in broken spanglish). Unfortunately I didn’t babelfish that and he quotes me the price for an hour. I say “No.. no I called 1 hour ago”. He sounded confused and hung up…
I suppose I should feel sorry for Chocha Lover —but I don’t. I feel more sorry for the women who are turning $40.00 tricks from 11:00 a.m. – 4:00 a.m. with sacks of pus like I found on this message board. It’s disgusting, as is the following (in reply to Kingaddictx reply above)… Irvington29 (who will be undoubtedly nominated for a Nobel Prize in Literature and Human Rights any day now) writes:
WOW
Your lying their use be 5 dollar spanish hos in Roosevelt Queens??? 40 dollars is real cheap. Cats say I fuck cheap hos man 40 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I fucked a Roosevelt Chick but that happened by accident. I was helping this girl I was seeing that came out of prison to get a identification card and pablo got in the car.
Long story short I dropped my ex convict ex girlfriend off at her apartment. I drove back to see Pablo and asked about “chicas”. He did not speak english but he sure knew where PUSSY WAS. I gave him some money, I guess he gets free pussy because he directs customer to them. Anyway their was 2 girls , I took the thick Colombian one because she gave me that look like she into “black men”.
I had to “make it do what it do” like Ray Charles like to say. Man I beat up that pussy. She gave me her number but she ain’t speak english. She was straining to tell me something and I was like “What bitch no speak no espanol”.
I left got in my car with Pablo and he said in broken english smiling to me chica want you as boyfriend. I was like “QUE”, god damn I need to take more spanish classes.
Here’s a gem bemoaning the effect inflation has had on the call girl industry. I thought hand jobs were recession proof! For shame.
I like to call this one “It’s the economy, stupid!”:
…you guys are stupid…50 bucks is not a months salary back home, even in DR, one of the poorest Latin Countries, they can make 30-50 dollars per session, maybe have 3 a day, so thats 150 bucks a day times 30….4500 a month….so yea, 4500 a month, not 50-100
people just like to assume the US is great and all other countries are poor as hell, but theyre not as bad as youd think…go learn something ppl before assuming everyones in a factory making 30 cents per session
So let me get this straight: I can perform “3 sessions” as you call them in the Dominican Republic and walk away with $150.00 or I can give 3 blow jobs in Queens at $40.00 a pop and make $120. WOW, you just made doing temp work look good!
And what would I be without giving props to bangbroads. He is a real connoisseur :
True but facilities and presentation is a deal breaker for me. Im not really tring to pony up 40 pesos for some basemnt room with no windows and a filthy mattress on the floor w/out sheets. Not for me! Id rather pay more to get something sanitary and comfortable. As far as the performance YMMV. With the higher priced girls there are usually reviews to weed the bad ones out. Anything under 50 your wasting your time in my opinion. If you can get off by some mechanical sex with a robot like zombie then its for you. Id rather get a BJ from a SW, save my pennies and go to a decent service for double the price. Higher priced to me is anything above 200. I try to stay in that 80-160 range. Good service more than half the time and doesnt break the bank.
What I noticed is most of the activity on this board seems to come from Queens. Jackson Heights, in particular. Maybe Peter Vallone Junior* (being as he is the chairman of the Public Safety Committee on our City Council and hails from said borough) should investigate this matter? Hey Pete**, why not lay off Alphabeta and pitbulls and address what appears to be genuine problem in your backyard: prostitution and/or human trafficking?
Or at the very least keep your smut on your side of Newtown Creek: we have standards, you know.
Miss Heather
P.S.: No one, regardless of race or immigration status deserves to be treated like these women do. NO ONE.
*Not to be confused with Peter Vallone Senior.
**Thanks for telling voters they should have no say so whatsoever regarding a third term for Mayor Bloomberg. Oh yeah, and a double dose of shame goes out to you, DAVID YASSKY. Follows is a breakdown of the vote courtesy of Phil DePaolo:
|
Councilmember |
NY1 TALLY |
COUNCIL VOTE |
|
*Joseph Addabbo |
No |
No |
|
Maria del Carmen Arroyo |
Undecided |
Yes |
|
*Tony Avella |
No |
No |
|
*Maria Baez |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Charles Barron |
No |
No |
|
*Gail Brewer |
Undecided |
No |
|
Anthony Como |
No |
No |
|
*Leroy Comrie |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Bill de Blasio |
No |
No |
|
Inez Dickens |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Erik Martin Dilan |
Yes |
Yes |
|
Mathieu Eugene |
No |
No |
|
*Simcha Felder |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Lewis Fidler |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Helen Foster |
Undecided |
Yes |
|
Daniel Garodnick |
No |
No |
|
*James Gennaro |
No |
No |
|
Vincent Gentile |
No |
No |
|
*Alan Gerson |
Undecided |
Yes |
|
*Eric Gioia |
No |
No |
|
Sara Gonzalez |
Yes |
Yes |
|
Vincent Ignizio |
No |
No |
|
*Robert Jackson |
Yes |
Yes |
|
Letitia James |
No |
No |
|
*Melinda Katz |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*G. Oliver Koppell |
Yes |
Yes |
|
Jessica Lappin |
No |
No |
|
*John Liu |
No |
No |
|
Melissa Mark-Viverito |
No |
No |
|
*Miguel Martinez |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Michael McMahon |
No |
No |
|
Darlene Mealy |
No |
Yes |
|
Rosie Mendez |
No |
No |
|
*Hiram Monserrate |
No |
No |
|
*Michael Nelson |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*James Oddo |
No |
No |
|
Annabel Palma |
No |
No |
|
*Christine Quinn |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Domenic Recchia |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Diana Reyna |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Joel Rivera |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*James Sanders |
Undecided |
Yes |
|
*Larry Seabrook |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Helen Sears |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Kendall Stewart |
Yes |
Yes |
|
James Vacca |
Undecided |
Yes |
|
*Al Vann |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*Peter Vallone, Jr |
Yes |
Yes |
|
*David Weprin |
No |
No |
|
Tom White |
Undecided |
Yes |
|
|
|
|
|
*David Yassky |
Undecided |
Yes |
Newtown Creek Mapping Workshop
A reader named Amanda passed this along to me and I, in turn am going to pass it along to you as it sounds very interesting
In partnership with the Newtown Creek Alliance, HabitatMap invites you to participate in a community mapping workshop at LaGuardia Community College on the evening of Monday, October 20th from 6:30-8:30… At the Newtown Creek Neighborhoods Community Mapping Workshop participants will:
- discover how web-based tools can magnify the impact of community organizing campaigns;
- hear from experienced organizers who have been active in the Newtown Creek Neighborhoods for decades; and
- learn how to navigate and mine city, state, and federal databases for information relevant to their own personal health and the health of their families and communities.
Participants should come prepared to begin mapping their neighborhoods so bring any relevant documents and photos but most importantly, bring your ideas.
Location:
The Newtown Creek Neighborhoods Community Mapping Workshop will be held at LaGuardia Community College, building E, room 228… The entrance to building E is located at 31-10 Thomson Ave. between 31st St. and Van Dam St.
Those of you who are interested in checking this workshop out should be advised that there is limited space so be sure to RSVP at your earliest convenience by clicking here.
Miss Heather
Hillary Clinton Says Superfund Us!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This comes courtesy of the Newtown Creek Alliance:
Senator Clinton Calls on EPA to Use Superfund Authority to Conduct Contamination Tests Along Newtown Creek
Clinton: Testing Is Necessary to Determine Whether Newtown Creek Should Be Placed on the National Priorities List
Washington, D.C. – Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton today urged the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to use its Superfund authority to conduct preliminary tests at four known hotspots along Newtown Creek, in New York City. In a letter to EPA Administrator Stephen L. Johnson, Senator Clinton raised concerns over the proximity and potentially harmful effects of hazardous substances regulated under the Environmental Response, Compensation, and Liability Act (CERCLA) to New Yorkers living in communities along Newtown Creek.
“New Yorkers living in communities near Newtown Creek have suffered long enough,” said Senator Clinton. “We know that there are dangerous chemicals in the soil, water and air at sites around Newtown Creek. It’s time to put the resources of the Superfund program to work to conduct additional tests at known contamination hotspots to see whether a federal cleanup should go forward.
Senator Clinton is the Chair of the United States Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works Subcommittee on Superfund and Environmental Health. In October, 2007 Senator Clinton held a hearing to examine the federal Superfund program’s capacity to protect public health and to investigate reasons for recent slowdowns in the pace at which sites are added and toxic waste sites are cleaned up under the program.
Here’s a copy of Senator Clinton’s letter to Administrator Johnson:
August 13, 2008
The Honorable Stephen L. Johnson
Administrator
United States Environmental Protection Agency
Ariel Rios Building – 1101A
1200 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20460
Dear Administrator Johnson:
I am writing to request that the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), use its Superfund authority to conduct preliminary tests at four known hotspots along Newtown Creek, in New York City (Attachment A).
Newtown Creek, which borders Brooklyn and Queens, is well known as one of the most polluted industrial waterways in North America, where chemicals from factories along the bed of the Creek have seeped into the soil, sediment and water. The New York State Department of Environmental Conservation and the New York State Office of the Attorney General have found evidence that certain hazardous substances regulated under CERCLA have been released at the Newtown Creek site (Attachment B). It is time the federal Superfund program conduct the testing that is necessary to determine whether Newtown Creek should be on placed on the NPL list. As the Chair of the Superfund and Environmental Health Subcommittee and a member of the Senate’s Environmental and Public Works Committee, it is of particular interest to me.
For years, the residents in the vicinity of Newtown Creek have been forced to live, work and play with toxic fumes in the air and contaminated water, soil and sediment on the ground. This exposure has led to community concern about potential pockets of serious illness. Superfund was established to address abandoned hazardous waste sites. The factories responsible for much of the chemical contamination have long since closed and as the cleanup authority of last resort, I see the federal Superfund program as the most effective way to solve this longstanding problem once and for all. The people of Newtown Creek have suffered long enough.
I appreciate your prompt attention and response to this matter.
Sincerely,
Hillary Rodham Clinton
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I am not a fan of Hillary Clinton. However, I am very pleased to learn she has thrown her support behind getting Newtown Creek the attention and remediation it so sorely deserves. Thanks Hill!*
Miss Heather
P.S.: Quick reminder, there will be a boat tour of Newtown Creek next month. Click here for more details. Seeing —and more importantly smelling— is believing. Trust me.
*I also LOVE these striped pants. Seriously.
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