The Word On The Street: Doric

A Contradiction of Column Nomenclature nys

As taken on Park Place yesterday May 23rd, 2015. Those of you, gentle readers, who are familiar with Greek architecture will understand why I find this amusing. For those who do not: I can only hope there is another apartment building somewhere called the “Corinthian” sporting Ionic columns. As far as “capitals” go, I prefer Carolingian myself.

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Fulton Street

Fulton Street nys

Taken April 25, 2015.

The Word On The Street, Part II: A Classon Avenue PSA

Classon Avenue nys

I have said it many, many times before and I will do so here and now once again: I have a very special place in my heart for wiseasses.

(Taken April 25, 2015.)

New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: And Now A Word From 387 Classon Avenue…

387 Classon

We’ve all seen and traversed them: endless flyers and cards soliciting one kind of service or another gracing our sidewalks, foyers, doorways and even intercom systems. Speaking for myself, car services and real estate agents seem to be the worst offenders— but there’s plenty more blame to go around. Thus we, as citizens, post flyers stating we do not want these tree-killers gracing our property. After all, if we wanted or required these services we would undoubtedly find them of our own accord. This is why god created the Internet.

Most of the “no flyer” signs I see on any given day are the standard boiler plate variety. I need not explore them here because quite frankly they’re not very interesting. The manner in which the above residence has approached this problem, however, is another matter altogether. Behold the genius for yourselves, gentle readers.

NO CRAP nys

Free Pizza Only nys

You can always leave it to our friends in Bedford Stuyvesant to do something with style. Well done, 387 Classon! Let this be an inspiration to us all…

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: No Waiting

MH Koski Inc nys

A nugget of hidden ad joy as discovered on today’s sojourn. You can and should view this in larger format by clicking here.

Reader Contribution du Jour: Attention Ladies!

If there is one thing your truly values it is honesty— and honesty is what this missive is all about! As you can see this gentleman (?) is not so much concerned with the itinerary of said date (I for one found “window shopping”, “the library” and “the zoo” novel suggestions). Rather, the emphasis is placed upon:

  1. there only being one date.
  2. females need only apply.

No hidden agendas. No mind-games. No muss. No fuss. Just a “nite” (and perhaps some cake and ice cream) to remember!

Any ladies wishing to take Mr. Right (now) up on his offer should be advised to head to the Clinton-Washington stop of the C train (which is where this is located). Good luck!

Photo Credits: Props go to Jeremy for discovering and granting me permission to share this wonder find. Thanks!

Bushwick Photo du Jour: STOP

May 13, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11237, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn 

From Scott Avenue.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool, Part II: Skate Kids

December 7, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11237, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn 

Skatekids: Bushwick

Taken by Carnade.

Miss Heather

The 460 Clinton Avenue Panopticon

April 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Dog Shit Signage 

This week our good friend Richard came to town. I wanted to go to East Williamsburg; the Mister wanted to go to the Navy Yard. We did both— which presented a problem. Outside the confines of 11211, 11222, 11206, and 11237 I get fuzzy. What’s more the Mister and I engender the same belief about maps: they’re for assholes. Which brings me to this.

460-clinton-ave

As Bugs Bunny would say:

I took a wrong turn at Albuqueque.

While the Mister was deciphering our misdirection I spied the following bit of dog shit signage.

theblockwatchers

The Block SEES YOU
MORNING & NIGHT
This is not a poopy park. Please taKe your dogs poop home and & flush! Don’t think the Block Watchers Don’t SEE you. You have lined the front of this house with poop. You continue to fill my garbage can with your dog poop. You have NOW forced ME to install A CAMERA. Please, Please take poop home & flush. Thank you. 460 Clinton Avenue.

The verbose nature of this sign, generous use of duct tape and random capital letters leads me to believe this person is serious. Or seriously pissed off.

Miss Heather

A Trip Down Dog Shit Row

April 9, 2009 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Other Shit 

outoforder

A recurring theme brought up at Bob’s memorial last week was how the Internet can bring like-minded people together. This was certainly the case after the service: at long last I finally had the opportunity to meet the brains behind some of my favorite blogs*. We were present that Saturday afternoon for one reason: to celebrate Bob’s life and work as yes, grieve.

Thankfully not all web comradeship is so serious in nature. Take my friend Yotidadnmom, for example. He first entered my life via an email entitled how’s this for shitty, took it with my cell phone, sorry for the poor quality. Attached was one of the most revolting and substantial bowel movements I have ever seen (Caution: click the previous link at your own risk). After regaining my composure (and lunch) I replied as follows:

Looks like someone needs to eat more fiber. Where, may I ask, did you find this?

To wit he replied:

I’m a construction worker who does station rehabs for the MTA i find shit on walls columns, tunnels etc etc .. i’ll send u pics of shit as i find em…

Impressed and intrigued I wrote back:

Man, I bet you see all sorts of crazy shit. Thanks!

u have no idea .. big shit , small shit , smelly shit , rat shit, people shit , soft shit ,hard shit ….god i work in a world of shit

he replied. The previous dialog came to pass in May of 2008 and ever since I will occasionally find some new piece of “treasure” my intrepid turd enthusiast has found for my edification waiting for me in my inbox. Usually first thing in the morning over my first cup of coffee.

This week, mercifully enough, my Internet friend did not send me a jpg. Rather, he sent me a solitary link in an email entitled Thought of You. Curious to see what my brother in bowel movements had discovered, I pointed and clicked my way over to Brooklynian. Here is what I found:

dogshitrow

Now I have seen a lot of shitty sidewalks in my day. For this reason I have a certain amount of cynicism when someone calls this (or her) block in this case St. Mark’s Avenue between Grand and Classon Avenue, “Dog Shit Row”. Wishing to see how shitty this street really was I dusted off my Metrocard and checked it out for myself. Follows is what I found. Enjoy!

Is this the shittiest block I have ever seen? Not by a long shot. Nonetheless I’d be very mindful of where I step if I were you!

Miss Heather

*Like Best View In Brooklyn, for example. And while I am on the subejct I’d like to thank Nicole Davis of Brooklyn Based for the amazing work she did on this event— she was sort of overlooked at the service. Great job!

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