Now For Rent At 14 Bayard Street: Luxury

14bayard1

I know what you’re thinking, gentle readers:

How can this possibly be considered “luxury” accommodations?

The answer is quite apparent. All one need do view the other side of this edifice.

whoops

The developer has clearly spared no expense on balconies. Granted, no one can access, much less us, this excrescence— but that is beside the point. Toss in an air mattress, cooler and perhaps a tent and some plucky entrepreneur will have an excellent means of “supplemental income”.

AirbnbSearchBayardStreet

WARNING/CAVEAT: the listings on Airbnb for Bayard Street seem to be quite a few— so price competitively!

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part III: Deja Vu

December 21, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Plagiarism, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Eryana writes (in an email entitled “Bayard Balcony”):

was covered on Fox News…just now made the front page of Yahoo! News no less.

as far as i know you were the first to cover this, correct?  nice to see there are some fans of your blog @ Fox News, and that you’re doing their work for them.

Indeed. I take it was a slow news day, Rupert?

UPDATE, December 21, 2010 7:57 p.m.: it would appear Fox News’s video is quite popular.

224,629 319,610 539,111 page views and counting. Impressive. Where’s my cut of the revenue you undoubtedly gained as a result of this, my work, Fox News? Yahoo? Anyone?

Miss Heather

P.S.: I can only hope Suzi Halpin is trotted out (once again) to explain this gaffe. E.g.;

The New York Post credits blogs, bloggers, and other media all the time, as our readers know.

New York Shitty Day Ender: 14 Bayard Street

(Or: Rapunzel Special)

Rounding out today’s postage I leave you with this absurdity from 14 Bayard Street (the final addition— and thank god for that— to Karl Fischer Row). Me (to my friend Triborough):

It’s pretty impressive that this building isn’t even inhabited yet, but the balconies are already rusted.

Pre-rusted so you don’t have to!

He replied. To wit I pointed out the obvious:

I wonder what is up with that top balcony? Is this like in Albania where they used to simply leave the top unfinished with rebar sticking out so they can come back and add another floor later? We must look at the front of this building!

And so we did.

Let me guess: the owner of this building has a friend in the balcony business. It went something like this:

You want balconies? I’ll give you balconies! Meet me under the BQE at 3:00 a.m. I have a truckload of ’em!

To wit Triborough presciently replied:

Maybe it is like the spare tire for a car? If one breaks they have one ready to replace it?

Indeed. This is what happens when you “design” and build your King’s crap by the yard. The Balkan balconies of yesteryear can be yours in Williamsburg today, dear readers— for a price. I can hardly wait until this gem hits the market!

UPDATE, December 21, 2010: It would appear that Fox News wasted no time sending out a television crew to “get the scoop” on this most important news item. Read it and weep.

Miss Heather

P.S.: This building has a “Partial Stop Work Order” on it— but not for this non-balcony!

Point here, click and see for yourself!

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