Quicklink: Name This!

March 24, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Bloomblight, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

My buddy at Bad Advice (who took the above photograph) writes:

It’s been a while since I wrote about all the exciting new construction going on in my neighborhood (Williamsburg), but as the condos next door are finally on the market, I thought I’d give an update. That dirt patch there might look kind of crappy (more on that later), but it’s actually the backyard to the first-floor condo you see there—the stairs lead up to the spacious deck you can see in this shot:

When the buildings were being slapped up (and nearly destroying my building in the process), the project manager/foreman/whatever told me they were going to be rentals because the market was sucking it so hard. Apparently someone had a change of heart because not only are these condos—they’re pricey condos! The one you see there is listed for $660k!!! Sure, it’s under 900 square feet, but hey, it’s a pet-friendly building, so there’s that… the contest I’m running is to name the stretch of dirt that runs between my building and the fabulous new condo. I’ve already seen several people using it as a toilet, so I’m thinking something like “Pee-Pee Park” or “Crap Alley.” But as I’ve been under the weather, my naming faculties aren’t operating at peak capacity. So see what you can come up with—the scattier the better—and leave your entry in the comments. As for the prize—well, I think it’s only fair that the prize gives something back to the original(ish) inhabitants of the neighborhood. The ones who can’t afford to buy fancy new condos or $300 t-shirts at Bird. So I’ve decided that the prizewinner will get $50 donated to the Greenpoint Soup Kitchen in their name. I wish it could be more, but, unlike many of my new neighbors, I’m not exactly sitting on a trust fund over here.

Get cracking, Greenpointers and Williamsburgers! You can tender your submission(s) by clicking here.

Miss Heather

Photo Credits: Bad Advice

Williamsburg Construction Watch: The Blair Witch Project?

Some of you might have noticed that I have a category on this site called “Area 51”. For those of you who are not in the know this is a reference to the mysterious military installation in Nevada. Many theories abound about this establishment but no one really knows what goes on there. But back to the point of this post.

When I awoke this morning my head felt like Keith Moon’s hotel room after a bender. I don’t know why. I’m guessing the weather, not alien abduction, was to blame. I decided to shake the cobwebs out of my mind by taking a little walk around Williamsburg. What I got in return was a colossal mind fuck which could fall under a number of categories. Among them:

  • Bloomblight
  • Construction/Destruction Porn
  • Gentrification
  • Culture War
  • Halloween

This is the reason I created the category “Area 51”: it is a repository for things that defy easy description. On that note, here they are.

#1 5 Roebling Street

5roe

These monolithic slabs of King’s Crap sit atop the space formerly occupied by the now deceased “Giant Fart Cloud Building”. It was at this site that I found two items of interest.

NRA

I cannot for the life of me figure what this missive means— much less to whom it is directed. Perhaps the following artifact (which is located approximately 20 feet away) has something to do with it?

blairwitch

Truth be told this gave me the creeps. Big time. Thankfully I got some good mojo shortly thereafter on North 10 Street. Which brings to…

#2 178 North 10 Street

N10

What could I possibly find uplifting on this block, you ask? The first and only use of Feng Shui at a construction site I have ever beheld, that’s what!

bagua

A bagua presides over 178 North 10 Street.  Having some knowledge about such stuff, baguas are usually employed to redirect/deflect bad “chi”. In the case of this block one has to wonder what is the source of said bad vibrations.

bloomblight

This?

thetoiletbuilding

Or this?

Miss Heather


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