The Word On The Street: Special Huron Street Edition

An actual conversation in this household today:

Me: I just saw something interesting.
The Mister: (?)
Me: You know the Construction Fence of Infamy?
The Mister: (nods)
Me: Well it not only has new ads on it, but one has been annotated.

The Mister: So are the police going to come beating down our door?
Me: (shrugs*)

*NOTE: I did not do this. However whoever did did so after I ran one set of errands early this afternoon but before 6:00 PM. In other words, in broad daylight.

A Story In Two Acts

September 3, 2019 ·
Filed under: 11222, Fuck This Shit, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, WTF 

So last week I received a voicemail from Project Reset offering a “resolution” to my “case”. I sent that to my attorney. Today they texted me and left me a voicemail.*

So I forwarded this to my attorney. And he called her back. Hilarity ensued.

The 94th saw fit to make a big deal out of this. So we’re gonna make a big deal about this. The police deleting photos without a court order is a BIG DEAL. Cheers!

UDPATE, September 3rd, 9:00 PM: I have also received a letter in the mail from the fellow who left me the voicemail last week.

And I sent it to my attorney. Now we’re four for four!

UPDATE, 9:09 PM: Now I have received a voicemail from NYPD Internal Affairs. And I sent it to my attorney. See how this works?

*I did not discover this until this evening. Damn, these people really want to talk to me. To recap, to date I have received:

  1. Two voicemails from Project Reset
  2. A text from Project Reset
  3. A letter from Project Reset
  4. One call from NYPD Internal Affairs

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Seeing Something, Saying Something

Yesterday while running errands I was disheartened to find yet more stickers for a recognized hate group blighting our community.

Yes, you read more correctly: more. This is something I have been tracking for several months. I am documenting this stuff too. I take photos, note the address and add to my “Hate Heat Map” as a necessary. Yesterday, sadly, I had to add two more. Here is a simplified version of my map.

Let’s be frank here. One dot is one too many. Here we have 32. Here’s the deal:

I have lived in this community for almost 20 years. This is not the first time I have seen, much less reported, this stuff. It was unacceptable then and it is even more unacceptable now. If you agree, you may wish to attend the upcoming 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting and make your concerns known. Lest you are wondering, gentle readers, the police are aware of this. Have been for some time. And now you are too.

94th Precinct Community Council Meeting
Wednesday, September 4th, 2019
7:00 PM
St. John’s Luther Church
155 Milton Street
Brooklyn, NY 11222

Live From Huron Street

August 22, 2019 ·
Filed under: 11221, Fuck This Shit, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 

As I suspected, after last night’s storm the Dame sex toy ads are showing signs of distress. This is of course because they are wheat pasted paper affixed onto a construction fence.

I have asked Dame if these advertisements are theirs and if they had permission to post them on this fence. So far, radio silence.

Once again, the NYS code for graffiti:

S 145.60 Making graffiti.

  1. For purposes of this section, the term “graffiti” shall mean the etching, painting, covering, drawing upon or otherwise placing of a mark upon public or private property with intent to damage such property.
  2. No person shall make graffiti of any type on any building, public or private, or any other property real or personal owned by any person, firm or corporation or any public agency or instrumentality, without the express permission of the owner or operator of said property.
    Making graffiti is a class A misdemeanor. —

If Dame ain’t claiming this as theirs or stating they had permission to post these advertisements on the fence in question, why does the 94th care?

Simple answer: they enforce/obey the law how they see fit. As such, I am arrested on a very tenuous charge at best— and the police later violate the law by trying to delete photos from my phone while it was in their custody. Tried.


Suffice it to say it’s been an interesting week for yours truly. However, as things go, I am a pretty tough bitch nowadays. Also, I have a sense of humor. So when my buddy at Queens Crap had an idea— this being securing coupons for Dame Products and gifting them to 94th Precinct— I decided to follow up on it. I mean, what are they going to do? Throw me in jail? So off to Twitter I went. Enjoy!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is living your best life. I hold no grudges against Dame. They are not the problem. Patriarchy and the upholders of it are.

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Manhattan Avenue


Taken October 6, 2015.

New York Shitty Video Du Jour: Live From Manhattan Avenue

June 24, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF 


Rubber Gloves


wheres levin NYSNote the fellow walking and texting the whole time. Oblivious.

Where’s Levin?

You ask? For what it was/is worth he was spotted at McCarren Park the same day this was filmed. Someone even took a photo. Our City Councilman asked if it was going to be part of New York Shitty’s “Where’s Levin” call for Greenpoint spottings (and, technically, McCarren Park is located in Greenpoint). She said no. Regardless, it’s nice to know you have a following.

The source material for my snow globes never stops! Imagine if every person in this community who was mentally disturbed and/or engaging in disorderly conduct— while white and affluent— got such “attention”…

Real Men Love Cats: Meet Mario

kentaveJust over a month ago I posted an item noting the destruction, rendered with extreme prejudice, of the feral cat condo complex on Metropolitan Avenue (as seen at left). Those of you who are not in the know can see the aftermath for yourselves by clicking here.realmenlovecats

I have frequently wondered exactly what happened. Well, as it would happen I recently met the fellow who oversees this colony. He calls himself Super Mario and he had quite a tail tale to tell. You see, Mario tends a number of feral colonies hereabouts. He has done so for a long time and feeds no less than 76 cats (!) daily. Despite his slightly intimidating physical presence one can clearly see Mario loves the critters under his care. And anyone who loves cats, well, is a friend of mine.

Hence why I am writing this post.

Mario has names for all the kitties under his care. Without argument the “queen” of the colony is a lass named Spotty.


Her “boyfriend”, as Mario explained to me, is this formidable fellow whose name I do not recall.


Mario told me he is, at seven years of age, among the older inhabitants of this pride. As such he generally stays close to “home” and spends his golden years lounging in the sun and napping.


After I took the above photo a chap sporting a black and white tuxedo coat slipped by. He had neither the time nor the desire for my photo-taking. He was hungry! Mario explained to me his “girlfriend” seems to have gone missing. However, he was sporting some scratches on his paw (which Mario is tending), so this might be due to feline fisticuffs over her affections. Such is the world of cats.



When I asked Mario what happened to the colony last month, he explained to me that there is a fellow thereabouts who dislikes cats. So much so, he saw fit to not only render their home into rubbish.


…but took the added measure of throwing some of it over the fence of an adjacent lot for good measure. What’s more, once the colony was moved onto the premises in question he saw fit to enter and destroy that as well. So now the gate is padlocked. I know what you’re thinking, gentle readers:

Did Mario contact the police?

Answer: yes. As Mario explained to me they explained to him that they could not do anything because (and I quote) “the man is crazy”. That may very well be. However, trespassing and destruction of property do strike me as being criminal acts and therefore a police matter.


In closing, those of you who happen to reside near this facility please help keep an eye on it. If you see something suspicious, say something! Ultimately it is up to us humans to advocate for the welfare of Spotty and her furry friends. They do not have the ability to blog much less call 311.

P.S.: It should be noted that Mario created a memorial for the feral furkids who died during the demolition of Monster Island. This too was destroyed. Mario has informed me he will be replacing it. I have asked him to contact me when he does.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Saw Something, Said Something

August 23, 2013 ·
Filed under: 11211, Criminal Activity, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 


A person we’ll call “X” writes today at 6:09 p.m.:

Hi Miss Heather. I am a lurker on New York Shitty and I pay special attention to your posts about crimes in the area.

I was jogging near the Williamsburg Bridge today and I spotted this guy:

He was unmistakable. I remembered him from your post a few weeks back. The yellow bike with the blue seat was the first thing I noticed. I trailed him for a little while and watched him pull on doors, checking if they were open. We made eye contact and that’s when I stopped and called the police.

I met with the police and showed them the guy’s picture and the posting and then I kept on running. Hope they get this punk today!

First off I want to thank X for contacting the police. Well done! Although I sincerely hope he/she made a spot-on identification and the police caught this fellow, the fact of the matter is someone trying doors (so as to find one which is unlocked) is bad news. I have said it before and I’ll say it again: please, please make sure your front doors are locked/secured. Do not simply “buzz” people into your building without discerning who he/she is— or better yet: meet/greet anyone desiring access to your building in person. Ask questions. If you see anything amiss, say something to the police. STAT.

Live From The 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting


(Or: Special full-sized flag edition!*)

Part I: Roll Call, Meeting Minutes, Etc.

Part II: C.O. Ryan Gives The Rundown & the Question and Answer Session Commences

  • C.O Ryan gives the low-down.
  • Interesting/noteworthy: felony assaults for the last month were ten, which is (to use Mr. Ryan’s own words) “up from four”.
  • C.O. Ryan outlines a city-wide grand larceny scam.** 
  • Graffiti is a serious problem.

Part III: More Q & A

  • I ask C.O. Ryan a couple of questions. He confirmed that an armed robbery came to pass at Continental Auto Parts on Ash Street within the last month.
  • Soundbite of the evening “What kind of a jerk puts a sign behind a pole?”
  • A Maspeth Avenue resident asks questions about a recent mugging on her block, how concerned citizens can start a neighborhood watch group and exactly what is the “protocol” when when a crime happens between two jurisdictions. In her case: the 90th and 94th Precinct.

Part IV: The Conclusion 

  • The matter of vandalism/graffiti at 268 Norman Avenue is brought to the table. The medium was glass “etching” fluid. The cost to this business (Broadway Stages) was $8,000.

And so it goes for what is (in yours truly’s recollection) the shortest— and least punctual— 94th Precinct Community Council meeting in years.

*Props go out to Elizabeth Hulson for this!

**As outlined per the NYPD per an anonymous tipster:

The New York City Police Department is asking for the public’s assistance with locating and apprehending the following 3 suspects wanted in connection with 12 grand larcenies that occurred within Queens.  Details are as follows.

In each incident, the victim is approached by one of the suspects who distracts the victim usually by informing them that their vehicle has a flat tire.  When the victim goes to inspect the damage, the other suspect(s) removes property from the interior of the vehicle.

Incident# 1 (109 Precinct) On Thursday, August 9, 2012 at approximately 1500 hours, the victim exited a Bank of America, located at Parsons and Northern Blvd, as he drove away, he was stopped by one of the suspects who informs him of a flat tire. As he inspected the damaged tire, in front of 35-10 College Point Blvd., a second suspect removed property from his vehicle.

Incident# 2 (111 Precinct)  On Saturday, December 15, 2012 at approximately 1500 hours, the victim exited a TD Bank and headed to his vehicle when he was he was approached by one of the suspects who informed him of a flat tire.  As he inspected the damaged tire, a second suspect removed property from the sun visor of his vehicle.

Incident# 3 (106 Precinct) On Wednesday, January 16, 2013 at approximately 1435 hours the victim noticed she had a flat tire and pulled her vehicle over at Crossbay Blvd and 163 Ave to inspect the damage.  One of the suspects approached the victim and offered to assist. As she returned to her vehicle, she realized her  property had been removed.

Incident# 4 (109 Precinct) On Saturday, January 19, 2013 at approximately 1240 hours, the victim was exiting the Chase parking lot, located at 33-45 154 Street, when she was approached by one of the suspects who informed her of a flat tire.  When she pulled her vehicle over a short distance later to inspect the damage, the suspect removed property from her vehicle and jumped into an awaiting car.

Incident# 5 (109 Precinct) On Tuesday, January 22, 2013 at approximately 1033 hours, the victim noticed he had a flat tire and pulled the vehicle over in front of 150-02 Northern Blvd to change the tire.  The victim was approached by two male suspects who offered to assist.  As one of the suspects assisted, the other removed property from his vehicle.

Incident# 6 (104 Precinct) On Friday, February 1, 2013 at approximately 1340 hours, the victim was approached by one of the suspects who informed  her that she had a flat tire and offered to help.  As they worked on the tire, an second suspect removed property from the passenger side of her vehicle.

Incident# 7 (109 Precinct) On Saturday, February 2, 2013 at approximately 1508 hours, as the victim approached his vehicle, parked inside a supermarket parking lot located at 144-50 Northern Blvd, he noticed his car tire had been slashed.  After changing the tire, he noticed property missing from inside his vehicle.

Incident# 8 (106 Precinct) On Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at approximately 1230 hours, the victim was informed, by one of the suspects, that she had a flat tire and offered to help.  Upon changing the tire, the victim realized property missing from her vehicle.

Incident# 9 (105 Precinct)  On Friday, February 15, 2013 at approximately 1330 hours, as the victim approached her car, parked in the vicinity of 216-03 Jamaica Ave, two of the suspects waved a parking ticket claiming that she was ticketed. Additionally, the victim stated that she believed one of the suspects sprayed shaving cream on the back of her jacket and began to wipe it off.  When she returned home, she discovered that property had been removed from her jacket.

Incident# 10 (102 Precinct) On Friday, February 15, 2013 at approximately 1520 hours, as the victim was driving, he noticed that he had a flat tire and pulled his vehicle over at 94-24 131 St. to inspect the damage.  One of the suspects approached the victim wearing an orange vest and offered to assist.  Upon changing the tire, he noticed property had been removed from his vehicle.

Incident# 11 (108 Precinct) (That’s Long Island City, gentle readers— Ed. Note) On Thursday, February 21, 2013 at approximately 1600 hours, three suspects approached the victim at 38-20 Review Ave to inform the victim that she had a flat tire and offered to help.  The victim declined and drove to a tire repair shop, located at 38-18 Queens Blvd, to have the tire changed,  The suspects followed the victim to that location and offered to help again while another suspect removed property from her vehicle.

Incident# 12 (109 Precinct) On Thursday, February 28, 2013 at approximately 1557 hours, as victim pulled into a parking lot along Northern Blvd, one of the suspects approached the to informed him that he had a flat tire, while another suspect sprayed an unknown substance onto his jacket.  The first suspect convinced the victim to remove his jacket and placed it in the car.  While the victim was distracted, the second suspect removed his jacket and fled the location.

Video attached from incident# 12.

Anyone with information is asked to call Crime Stoppers at (800) 577-TIPS (8477). The public can also submit their tips by logging onto Crime Stoppers’ website at or by texting their tips to CRIMES (274637), then enter TIP577.

All calls are strictly confidential.

**** UPDATE DUFFY 4/01/13 ****

 The following incidents have been added to the above listed citywide grand larceny pattern: 

Incident #13 (61 Precinct) On Friday, 22, 2013 at approximately 1500 hours, when the victim pulled her car over near East 2 Street and Avenue T to check on a noise coming from a tire, one of the suspects approached, wearing an orange construction vest and holding a white bucket. The suspect stated he had a can of Fix-A-Flat and offered to assist her. While the suspect helped the victim, the second suspect went into the victim’s vehicle and removed cash. 

Incident #14 (19 Precinct) On Monday, March 11, 2013 at approximately 1010 hours, the victim was sitting in her vehicle near 1st  Avenue and East 82 Street when she was approached by a suspect who said that one of her rear tires was flat. The suspect offered her a can of Fix-a-Flat and told her to hold it against the tire. After the suspect walked away, the victim realized her handbag missing from inside the vehicle. 

Incident #15 (102 Precinct) On Saturday, March 23, 2013 at approximately 1240 hours, the victim was parking her car near 101 Avenue and 121 Street when she was approached by a male wearing a construction vest who told her the air in her rear tires was low, and offered to help. While the suspect distracted the victim, a second suspect opened the victim’s vehicle and removed her purse. 

Incident #16 (94 Precinct) On Wednesday, March 27, 2013 at approximately 1235 hours, the victim parked his car near Withers Street and Union Avenue and was approached by a suspect who told him the back of his jacket was dirty. The victim took the jacket off and placed it in his vehicle, before driving a short distance away. After parking, the second suspect approached the victim and told him the air was low in a rear tire. The suspect offered the help change the tire or to use a can of Fix-a-Flat. As the victim bent down to inspect the tire, the first suspect entered the victim’s car and removed cash from the victim’s jacket.

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