A New York Shitty Exclusive: The Poo Corner Project

Earlier this month I shared the good news of a smart phone-sized (and curiously Kings County-shaped) pile of poo gracing the intersection of India and West Street (as seen at left in its replete fly-infested Greenpoint glory). I did so at the prompting of a tipster we’ll call “C”. She wrote:

I’m now naming India St between Franklin/West “poop alley”….someone either is pooping, has a huge dog, or cow on that street…theres like 50 loads.

I implored you, gentle readers, as to whom— or what— was responsible for these behemoth pieces of ordnance:

Does anyone amongst you, gentle readers, know who— or perhaps more appropriately what— is responsible for this? I’m intrigued.

I have received some very interesting leads as a result. One seems especially promising. It was with the person from whom I received this tip that I had a most interesting discussion. It basically went as follows:

1. Why does this person see fit to inflict these salvos of shit on his/her neighbors?
2. (following point #1) Does he/she think his/her neighbors simply do not notice? Given the rather foul perfume which permeates one’s nose upon reaching 32 India Street (the eastern perimeter of what I have since dubbed “Poo Corner”) I find this rather implausible.
3. (following points #1 and #2) Or does he/she not care?

I wanted— no, make that NEEDED— to know the answers to these questions. Thus I summoned my inner urban anthropologist/behaviorist to help me find an answer and in so doing the “Poo Corner Project” was born. Its basic principles/premises are as follows:

1. I am going to assume the party (parties?) responsible are under assumption that no one is troubled by these turds.
2. To correct this erroneous notion, I will circle and assign a number to each and every pile of poop I find in this area.
3. Each and every new mountain of merde henceforth will be circled, assigned a number and dated as to when I discover it.
4. Points #2 and #3 not only serve as some means of tracking the scat, but also to make it clear to their poopitrators that these annotations are not some random series of scribblings. I can assure you, this being Greenpoint, such a clarification is necessary.
5. All the previous points are predicated on the hope/expectation of observing how these errant dog owners will respond. Will they feel a sense of shame or persevere in their rather UN-neighborly behavior?

Thus far the results are rather compelling, if puzzling. Let’s review my preliminary findings as documented on November 12, 2011.

Notes/Observations:

1. Fourteen “loads” were found.
2. The woman pushing the stroller in the background of #7 inquired as to what I was doing. I explained my project to her. She voiced her approval and added she once accidentally mired said stroller in one of these gargantuan dog bombs.
3. Upon recognizing that what I had on my hands (underfoot) was an archipelago of poop, I decided to roll with this concept regarding the rather impressive #10.

I call this piece “Booty” (for obvious reasons). Now let’s jump forward to November 14, 2011.

I observed in addition to unbagged poop someone has seen fit to bag— and yet dump— their dog’s poo in this area. I gave this an “A” for effort but “F” for follow-through.

Why would someone go to the trouble of bagging and not throwing this away in a garbage can?

I asked myself. Over and over.

I missed this somewhat weather-worn specimen. I assigned it a number but refrained from dating it.

Number 18 was discovered. Note its placement next to #11. And most curiously…

forty-eight hours later turd #13 has gone MIA. Once again, I asked myself:

Why?

November 15, 2011

Upon encountering two more “gift bags” of discarded doggie goodness I decided to ask the obvious question of its author:

Why?

In a similar (if reverse-psychologically motivated) move, I inquired as to the whereabouts of #13.

And lastly we have #19, as noted today November 15, 2011.

Observations/thoughts:

1. In terms of unbagged turdage, the growth rate stays at 0%.
2. However, it should be noted the gross rate has gone up significantly with #19 replacing #13.
3. Bagged turdage is, however, growing steadily.
4. Chalk needs to be left so as to facilitate a dialogue with these ne’er doo wells moving forward. No worries: it has been purchased.

To be continued…