A Girl And Her Blog

April 6, 2009 ·
Filed under: Abjectecture, Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Recession, Williamsburg 

It would appear that politicians (and the developers to whom they are beholden) have done a smashing job of removing “urban blight” (READ: the working class/poor) from north Brooklyn. Who needs nuclear bombs when re-zoning, complicity and bureaucratic incompetence/apathy will do the job? Nonetheless the end product is more or less the same: a community whose quality of life has been compromised.

Follows is a revue of developer-induced blight in north Brooklyn I captured yesterday, April 5. I have entitled it After The Gold Rush.

The sad reality is re-zoning, tax bennies, and easy credit have done little to benefit my neighborhood. There were once businesses that gave people decent, well paying  jobs. Affordable rental property was once in abundance in Greenpoint as well. No more. Thanks to our city’s leadership much of my wonderful neighborhood has become a wasteland peppered by vacant lots, failed condominiums cum overpriced rental property, illegal hostels and super-sized tourist destinations operated by and for the affluent.

The time is long overdue for north Brooklyn to be developed in a manner sensitive to the needs of the people who constitute this community, not the ones Mayor Bloomberg’s rich cronies envision living here.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Miss Heather

P.S.: This one’s for you, Bob.

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Greetings & Salutations

April 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

gimmemoney

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

GREENPOINT RECESSION WATCH

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Recession 

(Or, Are You And A Significant Other Looking For A Little Extra Cash?)

One question I am asked quite frequently about my junk daze is as follows:

How do you do it?

As you can probably intuit from the video gracing the beginning of this post my answer is simply:

Very easily.

I have reached a point in my life where very few things disturb me at a core level anymore. This is not to suggest I have seen it all. I haven’t and I do not want to. Some would say I have a very vivid imagination. Others would call me a colossal pervert. They’re both probably correct. Which brings me to this rather eye-catching flier I spied on Manhattan Avenue recently.

attention

$290 divided by 15 comes out roughly to $19.30 an hour. Not a bad a rate for keeping one’s clothes on.*

Miss Heather

*Although I suppose you could do those online questionaires in your birthday suit if you are so inclined.

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: PROJECT MEGAPOLE

April 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

kucharek

Since yesterday, March 31, was on the heels of none other than April Fool’s Day I decided it would be fun to engage in a little tomfoolery. It took me a little while to figure out how I was going to go about this but after walking around Greenpoint a couple hours it finally came to me:

Geez, there are sure a lot of businesses whose names integrate “Poland” in some way, shape or form here.

I know what you’re thinking:

NO SHIT SHERLOCK, you live in ‘Little Poland”!

Yes, I know. But previous to yesterday afternoon I had never pondered how many business names here reflect the cultural vibrancy of my fair ‘nabe. I decided I simply must know once and for all how many of them there are. To this end I started documenting them. Here are my findings/observations thus far:

  1. There are a darned lot of them! In a casual 1 1/2 hour search I turned up 25 businesses on the west side of McGuinness Boulevard alone. I imagine once I expand my search to the area around McGolrick Park I will find many more.
  2. Most were pretty mundane and descriptive in nature, e.g.; Polish Meat Market, Poland Farm, Old Poland Bakery, and so forth. This is a shame, as some of the most stunning examples of marketing I have found here in the 11222 employ a suffix/prefix formula: Anna – Pol Travel, Dunne’s Polemost Liquors, POLSERVICE, POLMART and (my personal favorite) MEGAPOL Music. Granted, this is not the is not the stuff of Saatchi & Saatchi but they do have a certain je nais sais quoi. Besides, if it is good enough for The Garden Spot of The Universe it’s sure as hell good enough for me…

and YOU! On that note and without further ado here is a slide show featuring the findings of what I have christened “Project: MEGAPOLE”. When I have completed my mission you can look forward to a map, statistical breakdown and yes, maybe even a pie chart or two. Enjoy!

TO BE CONTINUED…

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Thank You Vodka Bunny!

March 31, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

vodkabasket

Just in time for the arrival of the big furry floppy eared one T & N Wine and Liquor has a nice assortment of Easter baskets on display for adults of all ages. This one has vodka in it. Yummy.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Yes, that’s a liquor container shaped like an artillery shell in the background.

A Manhattan Avenue Public Service Announcement

March 31, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

kenlayisalive

For those of you who prefer to get your news from less conventional sources (than, for example, CNN, Wikipedia or even The Drudge Report) according to this bicycle on Manhattan Avenue the chap who brought us Enron— none other than Kenneth Lay— is still alive.

Miss Heather

Spring Has Sprung In North Brooklyn!

Yes folks, you can literally smell it in the air: springtime has finally come to north Brooklyn.

scarybunny

The winteriana has been packed away and replaced with more springtimey fare— such as this deliciously terrifying rabbit from India Street. And not unlike the mighty Monarch butterfly, a number of construction projects have emerged from their respective chrysalises to display their new found glory for all to enjoy.

916manhattanavenue

This humdrum specimen hails from 916 Manhattan Avenue. As you can see it sports some seriously fierce asphalt siding.  No more.  After a couple of modification permits (and a little Greenpoint magic) it has been…

manhattanavefedderized

FEDDERIZED!

Of course what would any discourse about abjectecture be without a mention of my good friend Karl Fischer?

200franklinst32909

Holy 311 calls! It would appear the scaffolding has begun to come down at 200 Franklin Street…

200franklinst2

and what a magnificent sight it is!

200franklinst3

A number of images come to mind when people use words like “craftsmanship” “luxury” or “quality”. This is not one of them.

And last, but hardly least, what would a revue of north Brooklyn abjectecture be without a Belvedere? Good news kids: thanks to the wizards at Belvedere/Bridge Realty North 9 Street Williamsburg can now claim one of their very own!

belvedere26

Or should I make that XXVI?*

belvedere262

Congratulations northside Williamsburg you’ve just joined the club!

nolittering

Too bad this sign doesn’t apply to architecture.

Miss Heather

*Not to let them have a monopoly on all the fun. Behold: Belvedere X of Eckford Street!

belvederex

Nice balconies.




Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Along The Waterfront

March 31, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

skylinenys

Late Sunday afternoon the Mister and I braved the blustery weather to explore some of north Greenpoint’s waterfront. Our persistence paid off: the fog provided a certain “mood” which rendered our experience thoroughly enjoyable (if a wee bit chilly). Follows is a Flickr slide show I created featuring my favorite shots. Enjoy!

Miss Heather

North Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Bodega Daze

March 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

The following photographs may not necessarily depict bodegas per se but they do represent the way north Greenpoint has changed, for better or worse.

eaglestbodega

R.I.P at Eagle and Franklin Street.

joses

Renovated, empanadaed and in demand down the block.

sanda

This was my bodega of choice when I lived on Clay Street.

acapulco

This is not a bodega. However, Acapulco Deli & Restaurant resides next to the S & A Deli and is one of the most underrated diners in the Garden Spot. What’s more, now they’re sporting a fancy new awning!

donedeals

Greenpoint Furniture formerly (and possibly currently)  known as “DONE DEAL$”.

minimarket

I was never too big on this one (too much emphasis on meat) but the “presentation” is nice. Good place to buy soda, though.

oldandnewoneaglenys

Such is the life nowadays in north Greenpoint. Of all the people depicted in the above photograph who do you most identify with? More importantly, does it even matter?

We’re all in this together for better or worse, Greenpointers. Best to direct our angst or get a collective chuckle out of people who write stuff like this:

I have to say that all of the places in Brooklyn and Manhattan that I considered moving to, I did not consider Greenpoint at first.  Then I saw the posting for the 305 McGuinness Lofts in early February. I am a huge sucker for apartment porn, as I call it, and the new condo-turned-rental developments are great for that.  This was a Craigslist listing for a brand new triplex: 3 BRs, 2 BAs, brand new appliances, loft like ceilings, on-site parking and a gym. Shane and I quickly agreed: Yep, going to see that. Per the broker, Baris, these had just hit the market and so far they had curious locals coming to see the building.*

So we went on a cloudy Sunday. Getting off of the G train at the Greenpoint Ave stop and seeing the Starbucks warmed the cockles of my heart. We had a lot of time so we went to see the open house that was posted on Craigslist for 110 Green St.  The road itself was desolate but on the right-hand side there was this huge building. It had no sign (later discovered it had been called the Viridian, and was very famous for having Magic Johnson as an investor, and even more famous for going bankrupt last month) and it was very clearly still under construction. We checked out the model apartment, which was extraordinarily tiny. They were, and still are, charging $2,900 for a 2 BR and $3,600 for a 3 BR, so I was curious to check them out. There were many potential tenants and only 1 sales rep. He took us to see the area where there supposedly will be a huge, olympic sized swimming pool (suuuuuure), and then this enormous atrium, which was supposed to have had a fountain, but then explained that the original plans had already been downgraded to now include a simple lounge area instead. At that point, we ran out of time, so we left unimpressed, thinking they needed a reality check.  With those prices and 138 new units to rent, each with limited space, it seems to be a daunting task, indeed.

After that disappointment, we headed off to 305 McGuinness Lofts. McGuinness Blvd, for those who don’t know (and I didn’t) is a very noisy, busy road with traffic gunning to and from Brooklyn and Queens via the Pulaski bridge. The apartment building was under heavy construction (and still is), with wires dangling and walls unfinished. We were shown the triplexes and duplexes. The triplexes were cool: 1200+ sq feet in each, with 2 entrances, 2 bedrooms & 1 bathroom on the bottom floor, kitchen with huge windows and decent living/dining space on the 2nd floor and then the third floor mezzanine with another room that will (one day, in theory) have sliding glass doors overlooking the living/dining area, and another bathroom. W/D comes with every unit, as does central air, lovely new appliances and huge windows. I wasn’t crazy about the bedrooms, which were small, and the limited amount of closet space in each, but overall, it was a nice place for a relatively decent price.

But nice floors, beautiful appliances, kitchen, huge windows and only $3,000 with a free month thrown in. Add in on-site parking and the gym? Awesome! Duplexes with 2 bedrooms plus an area for an office space, had a nicer view but the 2nd floor/mezzanine had a ridiculously low ceiling, barely clearing Shane’s head, and they only had 1 bathroom. Additionally, the mezzanine/2nd bedroom shared a huge window with the master suite, and the two rooms were not completely shutoff from each other due to that window, so we figured, if we lived here, it’d be the triplex…

Yes, this was ostensibly written by a “real person”. While gloating over the “lovely new appliances” and “huge windows” our wannabe/soon-to-be neighbor didn’t notice the rather fragrant and enormous waste treatment plant one block away.

Real estate shill or simply clueless?

I’ll let you make the call. A triplex overlooking the Shit Tits, anyone?

Miss Heather

*This is true. We stare in dumbfounded amazement at this edifice wondering why some dumbass, a bankrolled one at that, would build such a turd on McGuinness Boulevard. Daily. It is a constant source of amusement.

P.S.: The 184 Eagle Street post is a HOOT:

When we were first heading over to Greenpoint to check out 305 McGuinness I also put in a call to check out the listing for a luxury 2 BR, 2 BA with mezzanine place (pics above), complete with on-site parking.  Was told by the real estate agent that it was for 184 Eagle Street but that tenants were in the place so I couldn’t see it that day (Sunday).  Weekdays weren’t good for me so I passed.

Then a few weeks back Brownstoner picked up on a story posted by New York Shitty about 184 Eagle St doing hostel duty on the side.  Apparently a tipster found the Craigslist posting.  So…while they wait for a real rental, they’re making money by renting out the place on a weekly basis where you can get either a bunk bed ($28 per night) or a private room ($78 per night).  Um, ew?

Um, welcome to my reality lady. I have seen a number of my neighbors— renters all— “displaced” by development. It happens like this: a developer purchases 1,2,3 lots in a row— usually because the landholder cannot afford the real estate taxes— and the tenants are forced to vacate. And in the place of their former homes are erected testaments to gentrification such as 110 Green Street, 184 Eagle Street and 305 McGuinness. Their target demographic: people like you.

But the locations are deemed “too crude” by people like you (greed and easy credit makes developers do silly things) so they have to find more creative ways to meet their loan debt like skipping over the whole Certificate of Occupancy thing.

184eaglepart2

Or employing a dead condo (“nondo”) as an illegal hostel/hotel. Thus generating what is my opinion one of the most hilarious complaints I have ever seen on the Department of Buildings web site.

184eaglepart1

Who says gentrification/displacement can’t be funny?

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Brussels Express

March 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

brusselsexpress

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

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