Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Paradise

July 13, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From Provost Street.

Miss Heather

Live From Green Street: FIRE!

June 22, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Today has proven to be an eventful one for yours truly. First there was my sojourn around north ‘Point culminating in pointing out chicanery at 400 McGuinness Boulevard to an employee of the Department of Buildings and, as of fifteen minutes ago, it was doing a little grocery shopping only to discover a rather large fire on Green Street between Provost Street and McGuinness Boulevard. I have put out feelers to learn exactly what happened, but in the meantime I will share with you another account from another woman who happens to be named Heather!

She writes:

See attached photos. There are literally about 20 fire trucks and about 15 ambulances! Seems that they got it out, but there might be a lot of injuries. NUTS!!!

If anyone has the 411 on what happened please share via comments or email at missheather 9at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. Thanks!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: The DEP Nature Walk

April 4, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek 

The Shit Tits

Yesterday yours truly had a rock star moment. Well, not exactly— the other party involved, a very polite French couple, did not know who they were talking to: none other than the cheerleader of/unofficial spokeswoman for our beloved Shit Tits! Our conversation kicked as follows:

Excuse me, do you live around here?

The woman asked.

I answered to the affirmative.

Do you know of a futuristic park around here?

She asked. I gave the matter some thought and asked:

In Greenpoint, yes?

She answered to the affirmative.

Oh, you mean the DEP Newtown Creek Nature Walk as seen in Time Out New York and lauded by the Village Voice!

I replied.

Oh yes, yes!

She replied. I then proceeded to enthusiastically give her and hers directions to this Greenpoint landmark. They didn’t seem to comprehend what I was telling them and headed in the opposite direction— but that’s not really the point here. Rather, I Greenpointer, relished the opportunity to be (once again) an ambassador for our locality’s best known, um, assets. More importantly it served as a reminder that I have not visited “the gals” in a while. This morning I did. Follows are a few highlights. Enjoy!

You know spring has arrived in the Garden Spot when the Coney Island whitefish have come to spawn! Ah, nature…

Miss Heather

P.S.: On a related note I received a wonderful missive this afternoon from a fellow Greenpoint, Jan, who happens to be vacationing in Hamburg, Germany. He was pleased to report he has spied some bona fide European Shit Tits!

Ovoid - Digestion tank

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Heads

March 25, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From Provost Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Street Seating du Jour: Stacked

From India Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Audience Participation Time!

(Or: Divine Inspiration)

If there is one thing being unemployed and this downright frigid weather is good for it is contemplation. My mind has been awash with many an idea. Most of them are admittedly rather bad— but there have been some good ones. Which brings me to this:

I realize this doesn’t seem like much but I assure something very special is going on here. And this is how it all got started.

Yours truly (fairly) recently received an email from a Professor at the City University of New York. It read as follows:

Would you kindly consider giving me permission to use your photo of the Newtown creek Wastewater Treatment plant and Park?  This image very much suits my purposes in an article and book I’m doing on infrastructure. Both publishing organizations are non profit, and I do not receive a fee for the article.

However, I’d be willing to pay a small amount for use of the photo. I’m attaching a jpeg of the image. If this is ok, I will send you a form to sign.
thanks kindly.

Here’s the image in question.

As you can imagine I was absolutely delighted by this development. The Shit Tits have long been a source of fascination and adoration for yours truly. I would even go so far as to say I put these “girls” on the map, in manner of speaking. I allowed her to use this image without fee provided I get a copy of both the article, book in question and am cited credit. Yes kids, you have read me correctly: I will soon be adding “published photographer”* to my rather anemic resume! But instead of resting on my laurels I got to thinking:

Why doesn’t the Newtown Creek Waste Water Treatment Visitors Center have a gift shop?

and more importantly

Why hasn’t someone seen fit to create a Shit Tit snow globe?

I have no control over the former— but I recently used an Amazon gift card to make the latter happen! My snow globe kit came replete with pink and blue “snow” which I have every intention of using as they look like the manifold number of plastic bags one sees on the creek after any given rainfall. It also allows for a musical movement. I plan on hacking a jewelry box the Mister purchased me (under the erroneous notion I would actually use it). “Everything is Beautiful” by Ray Stevens will provide the soundtrack for this, the first and only snow globe featuring Greenpoint’s most prominent “assets”. After some informal “crowd sourcing” I determined a kayaker should be present. He is present and accounted for— as are tiny turds and “Coney Island whitefish”. I’m seriously considering adding a rainbow. We’ll see. But I digress from the purpose of this post.

As I have been feverishly sculpting miniature digester eggs and assorted detritus it hit me:

Why not do a series of snow globe souvenirs documenting places of dubious distinction?

This too, I have “crowd sourced”. One chap suggested the Greenpoint Terminal Market. I disagreed; this would be better rendered as an ashtray or incense burner (fodder for a later project, I can assure you). I for one think Woodhull Hospital and Karl Fischer Row are excellent candidates. As is Gowanus Canal, which was recommended by my/Greenpoint’s favorite “crazy yoga lady” Christina. Have any ideas/suggestions for my “Dubious Distinctions” series of souvenirs from hell? Tender ’em via comments or email at: missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. I look forward to hearing from you!

Miss Heather

*And contributing writer for another publication. More about that later (Think: March).

LAST GASP: Poop Haiku

November 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

So it’s another Friday night. Another evening I have dedicated to working on my own stuff yet get seduced by my inbox.

My friend Laura writes:

I just love this! The facility and Nature Walk in Haiku!

As do I. Coodence, you just got yourself blogrolled!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Pointview

November 13, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

Best of 2010: You Go, Girls!

October 21, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

That’s right folks, our very own Nature Walk and digester eggs Shit Tits got some more recognition via the Village Voice’s 2010 “Best Of” issue! Don’t believe me? See this much-overdue accolade for yourself by clicking here.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Special thanks go out to my buddy Kevin Walsh of Forgotten New York for bringing this item to my attention!

LAST GASP: The Shit Never Sleeps?

September 25, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

As if my props to this, the Garden Spot’s most prominent landmark, via Time Out New York was not enough now I have learned our very own Shit Tits have made their way onto the silver screen. In an Oliver Stone film, no less! Jen (one of the fabulously cool co-pastors of the Greenpoint Reformed Church) writes:

Hi Heather,

You might already know about this, but today Ann and I went and saw the new Wall Street movie and the shit tits play a major role in the film.  Of course they aren’t playing the role of a poop processing center.  Instead they have been casted as a green energy research facility. Creative casting.

Methinks I might just have to see this (or would that be “them?”) on the big screen!

Miss Heather

P.S.: On a related note, the Greenpoint Reformed Church’s food pantry and soup kitchen needs your help now more than ever. You can make a donation by clicking here and learn how you can volunteer by clicking here.

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