Williamsburg Photo du Jour: A Richardson Street PSA

April 8, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Taken April 7, 2011.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: STOP

February 18, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

STOP

Taken by Miss Mousey Brown.

Miss Heather

LAST GASP: When Worlds Collide

February 2, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

This bit of short-bus-meets-King of Beers gridlock hails from the intersection of Richardson Street and Union Avenue and goes out to Community Board 1’s Transportation whiz, Karen Nieves, who I had the pleasure of meeting in person at tonight’s “Community Meeting”!* After witnessing one full hour of Greenpoint goodness I thought she might need some comic relief.

Miss Heather

*Footage from which is uploading— slowly but surely. Be patient folks!

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Google Eyes

December 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Art 

From Richardson Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: 14 Bayard Street

(Or: Rapunzel Special)

Rounding out today’s postage I leave you with this absurdity from 14 Bayard Street (the final addition— and thank god for that— to Karl Fischer Row). Me (to my friend Triborough):

It’s pretty impressive that this building isn’t even inhabited yet, but the balconies are already rusted.

Pre-rusted so you don’t have to!

He replied. To wit I pointed out the obvious:

I wonder what is up with that top balcony? Is this like in Albania where they used to simply leave the top unfinished with rebar sticking out so they can come back and add another floor later? We must look at the front of this building!

And so we did.

Let me guess: the owner of this building has a friend in the balcony business. It went something like this:

You want balconies? I’ll give you balconies! Meet me under the BQE at 3:00 a.m. I have a truckload of ’em!

To wit Triborough presciently replied:

Maybe it is like the spare tire for a car? If one breaks they have one ready to replace it?

Indeed. This is what happens when you “design” and build your King’s crap by the yard. The Balkan balconies of yesteryear can be yours in Williamsburg today, dear readers— for a price. I can hardly wait until this gem hits the market!

UPDATE, December 21, 2010: It would appear that Fox News wasted no time sending out a television crew to “get the scoop” on this most important news item. Read it and weep.

Miss Heather

P.S.: This building has a “Partial Stop Work Order” on it— but not for this non-balcony!

Point here, click and see for yourself!

Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Shrine

November 13, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

From Richardson Street.

Miss Heather

Urban Fur: Law & Order

October 26, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Urban Fur, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

I was unable to ascertain the name of this vigilant little one.

Every time his owner told me, well…

you get the idea. This pup takes his territory very seriously.

A man after my own heart!

Miss Heather

Notes From The 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting

Yours truly didn’t feel like going— but she went anyway. I’m glad I did! For starters (and by Greenpoint standards, anyway) the meeting was pretty mellow. This is a good thing since I was not really in the mood for some of the angrier and uglier rhetoric that can (and does) come to pass at these meetings. This is not to suggest there wasn’t anger: there most assuredly was. The difference was the people (ladies all) who aired their ire were (as a friend noted) so darned nice about it! Bicyclists, illegal sidewalk vendors, impertinent youths and liquor licenses all get the treatment at the hands (or would that be mouths) of these ladies. One such lass made an observation so piquant that she has henceforth earned my undying admiration. But I am getting ahead of myself. Without further ado here is footage from last night’s meeting— along with synopses and a bit of analysis from yours truly. Enjoy!

Part I: D. I. Fulton gives opening statements/props and a general rundown of crime trends.

The Rundown:

  • Grand larceny auto and burglaries are up, everything else is down.
  • Vehicle accidents are down 4.1%
  • D. I. Fulton explains that since the crime stats for the 94th are so low that one or two burglaries can skew the crime statistics upward.
  • A spate of robberies via a man riding a bicycle centering (roughly) around “Woodpoint Road and Conselyea Street”. This individual has since been apprehended and identified in a line-up by two victims. NOTE: this chap’s activities came to pass between (once again: roughly) 1:00 and 2:00 a.m. in the morning and his victims were women in their 20’s.
  • D. I. Fulton talks about burglaries.

Part II: D. I. Fulton speaks about car break-ins and the public speaks!

  • Arrests are up 24.7%
  • A case of Greenpoint roof theft
  • D. I. Fulton advises runners patronizing McCarren Park to mind their personal property.
  • One citizen applauds the 94th for apprehending a man who exposed himself to her and her daughter— and physically threatened them at North 7 Street and Bedford Avenue.
  • Same said citizen complains about illegal street vendors.

Part III: The Public Speaks, continued

  • Illegal vendors, continued
  • A general discourse on unruly behavior in general on Bedford Avenue and Williamsburg in general.
  • A Greenpoint resident queries D. I. Fulton about vehicle theft: there were 13 over the summer and 109 total.

Parts IV & V: The Public Speaks, continued

The aforementioned Greenpoint resident complains about Five Leaves’s use of the sidewalk (allegedly after permitted hours for a “sidewalk cafe”) and follows is a general discussion:

  • A burglary on Bedford Avenue
  • A lady from the Lions Club gives the 94th props

  • Bicyclists
  • Street closures and parties, e.g.; do they require permits?
  • Other things including— but not limited to— one of the most awesome observations (or dare I hope: promises) I have ever heard at a 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting. Go to 2:31 and hear it for yourself!
  • There are 97 liquor licenses pending (including a renewal for the Production Lounge*). D.I. Fulton explains this as “growing pains”.
  • Parties
  • Complaints about 311 dropping calls

Closing observations/thoughts:

  1. Once again and all things considered: this meeting was pretty tame.
  2. Nonetheless there was plenty of anger to go around. This mostly centered around aspects of the “new” Williamsburg being a tourist attraction and/or a watering hole of choice. Which brings me to…
  3. the subject of liquor licenses. If the ostensible function of our Community Board is to be the voice of the people and/or institute some semblance of “community standards” their determinations should be more binding. What’s the point of having due process if the SLA (State Liquor Authority) simply looks at their recommendation— let’s say, to deny a liquor and/or Cabaret license— and they issue the license (undoubtedly greased along by lobbyists/parties with deep pockets) anyway? Just a thought.
  4. The previous Op Ed(s) having been written (and to close on a note of levity), I am taking a serious shine to the notion of some exchange program between Greenburg/Williamspoint grannies and ‘noobs in the ‘hood.** I have no doubt the previous can show middle America a few things about partying (take this, for example.) Our friends (far) beyond the Hudson could use some good ol’ north Brooklyn flavor! It builds character.

Miss Heather

*Which inasmuch as much as yours truly can ascertain is STILL operating a monthly strip club. CASE IN POINT:

**I mean this with all due respect. I have grown to absolutely adore Greenpoint grandmas over the years. I simply wish others had the pleasure of enjoying their company. It isn’t so much about “Go back to Ohio”, so to speak, as it is “Get thee to Ohio”— and get us some respect!

Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Ride

June 19, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

From Richardson Street.

Miss Heather

Lost In North Brooklyn: Oscar, Sparkles & Rambo

Oscar: flier found on Graham Avenue at Richardson Street, 11222

Sparkles: flier found on Morgan Avenue & Maspeth Avenue, 11211

Rambo: flier found on Montrose Avenue at Graham Avenue, 11206

If you have seen any of these wayward cuties or know of their whereabouts please contact their respective “people” at the above-listed telephone numbers.

Thanks!

Miss Heather

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