New York Shitty Street Seating Du Jour: Ingenuity

There is genius and then there is GENIUS. This creation (which hails from Spanish Harlem where I went on a photo walk with the immensely talented Steven R. Hazlett today) falls into the latter category.

The elegance of this arrangement is truly stunning: cantilevered seating courtesy of NYPD barricades. Initially these chaps couldn’t understand why I, some dotty 30-something Greenpointer, was so fascinated by their creation. Once I explained respectfully (and made it clear they would not be in the New York Daily News) they had plenty to say.

The gent on the right claimed credit for this creation— and stated that the NYPD gives him plenty of guff about it. He told yours truly they come by regularly and roust him from his “bench”. Because it is their property. He then pointed to a NYPD squad car across the street and exclaimed:

There they are. Can’t you see them hating me?!?

I can’t honestly say I did. See hating. Then again, I suspect the NYPD would refrain from “hating” on these guys while a white chick with a camera is talking to them. In any case, street seating of this caliber demands a serious New York Shitty salute. Here it is. This one’s for you!

Miss Heather

P.S.: I will be rounding out today’s postage with a slide show of highlights from my sojourn in Spanish Harlem. Stay tuned!

New York Shitty Day Ender: The Green Lady

April 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

From Second Avenue.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Video Du Jour: St. Mark’s Place Fashion Watch

March 15, 2010 ·
Filed under: East Village, East Village Manhattan, Manhattan, New York City 

As many of you have noticed the weather has been quite nasty the last few days. So much so that yours truly has been staying indoors. I can handle rain or even snow. But traipsing around in nature’s post-nasal drip leaves much to be desired. Unless, as I learned this weekend, it is done with style.

Saturday night I had to attend a birthday party for a good friend in Manhattan. Given this person is one of my best friends (hell, she was the “best woman” at our wedding) attendance was mandatory. So I bundled up: out came the thermal underwear, heavy coat I had put away only a week ago and so forth. I hardly cut a dashing figure— but that wasn’t the objective. I was more concerned with keeping dry. Unfortunately I neglected to bring an umbrella so all my preparations were rendered moot. If I had to describe the result it would run along the lines of American Playground homeless. It was on St. Mark’s Place that I learned the error of my ways. I should have put on my slinkiest dress, fishnets and stratospheric pumps.

You gotta love New Yorkers. Nothing— not even such a triviality as a flash flood— gets in the way of us promenading and having a good time on a Saturday night. It is yours truly’s sincerest hope this Minnie Pearl look catches on with our fair city’s youth. Umbrellas are for wimps. On that note, dear readers, I am off for a little walk. If tragedy strikes I will endeavor to steal something casual.

Miss Heather

East Village Street Art Du Jour: Second Avenue Selections

February 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: New York City, Street Art 

Taken February 14, 2010.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: Valentine’s Delight

East Village, 10003 & 10009



Williamsburg, 11211



Greenpoint, 11222

Taken February 14, 2010.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Street Art Du Jour: Freephone!

November 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: East Village, Manhattan, New York City, Street Art 

FREEPHONEnys

From Second Avenue at East 6 Street, East Village.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Miss Heather Does A Good Deed

October 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Boobification, Bum Shit, Dung of the Day, Manhattan, Other Shit 

Today, dear readers, I did something I rarely do: go to the movies. This much-needed bit of recreation entailed me doing something else I do not do very often: going to Manhattan. Murray Hill, no less. (What can I say? I find Woody Harrelson brandishing firearms irresistible.)

Anyhoo, after deciding in favor of getting a little walking in I got off at the 1st Avenue stop of the L. As I proceeded further north I began to realize I was not in Greenpoint anymore. I felt uncomfortable. People were staring at me. Thankfully, at 24th Street I saw something that made me feel right at home.

pay phone

As you are all too aware I have a “thing” for pay phones. I cannot pass one without looking at it. The above example was no exception.

INCOMING

Incoming ordnance at twelve o’ clock!

damn

Crikey, Verizon took a direct hit!

After I took the above photograph a livery cab pulled up beside me and a 40-something gentleman made a bee line for this telephone.

Me: Dude!
40-something Gentleman: (picks up receiver)
ME: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
40-sG: (turns around)
Me: Don’t use that pay phone! Someone took a shit on it!!!
40s-G: (slowly turns around and, after noticing that someone has indeed despoiled said pay phone, let’s it slide from his hand.)
Me: That’s why I was taking photographs of it. SOMEONE SHIT ON IT!
40s-G: Thank you! Thank you! (starts heading back to livery cab)
Me: No problem. Do me a favor, okay?
40s-G: What?
Me: Please wash your hands as soon as you can, okay? I mean, someone SHIT on that phone. God only knows what else is on there we can’t see.
40s-G: I will, thank you!

With that closing remark and the slam of a cab door he was on his way. And I was on mine. Which brings me to what I found two blocks later.

condomphone

Miss Heather

P.S.: I felt so good about my good deed today I decided to make a little detour and purchase myself a treat!

bodhiandtheboobs

That’s right, kids. Project: Boobification is back! Methinks I’ll name the left one “Bill” and the right one “Mike”!

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