North Brooklyn Street Art Du Jour: Blue Lady

August 5, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11237, Brooklyn, Bushwick 

wyckoffave

From Wyckoff Avenue.

Miss Heather

Help Wanted On Troutman

August 5, 2009 ·
Filed under: Brooklyn, Bushwick 

I have never been a big fan of self-help industry. This is especially true of books like The Secret which lavish a great deal of attention on what is called the “Law of Attraction”. For those of you who are not motivational-speak savvy, here is a definition of this piece psycho-speak from Wikipedia:

…the Law of Attraction says people’s thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives, whether or not they’re aware of it. Essentially “if you really want something and truly believe it’s possible, you’ll get it”, but putting a lot of attention and thought onto something you don’t want means you’ll probably get that too.

Why anyone would need to outlay money on a book to figure this out is beyond me. My good friend Rachael (long before this idea became de rigueur to changing one’s life) coined a term for just this phenomenon:

Ass begets ass.

Which brings me to this solicitation from Troutman Street.

nowhiring

How can I not shake the feeling this advertisement for “good” carpenters failed miserably? Is it the fact it is written on a door with marker? The fact it will only be seen by people happen to walk down Troutman Street? The fact “ones” is misspelled? It is probably all of the above.

114troutman

In any case if any “good” carpenters are reading this and are (still) need of work you might want head down to 114-124 Troutman Street.

detail

You skills may very well still be in demand. And even if they aren’t…

saleortrade

you will be on the inside track to pursue this very novel business proposition just down the street.

forbike

Good luck— and remember: think positive!

Miss Heather

Street Furniture Du Jour: Distressed On Troutman

April 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Street Furniture 

chaiselounge

This flat-lined chaise lounge hails from a very special street in Bushwick called Troutman. If it could tell us its story I have little doubt it would be a very interesting one!

Miss Heather

Great Moments In Aluminum Siding XIX: Troutman Street Fugfest

April 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Abjectecture, Articles of Fedderization, Vinyl Siding 

Living in Greenpoint has to some extent immunized me to aluminum siding. I can walk down block (and block) chock a block of the stuff and it no longer fazes me. I have long harbored the fear that I had become a siding Queen. Then I gazed upon 247 Troutman Street. To quote Madonna:

unglyontroutman

I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
Didn’t know how lost I was
Until I found you

Infatuated with the sheer fugliness of this structure I went in for a closer look.

troutmanfug

There’s a whole lot of fug happening here.

morefug

Across the street.

moretroutmanfug

Down the block.

superfug

I made Mister Heather look at this one immediately upon arriving home from work. After sputtering a few incomprehensible syllables about its utter hideousness he headed straight for the liquor cabinet.

yet-more-fug-on-troutman

I don’t blame him. I had to toss down a couple glasses of wine (at home) before digesting this beauty.

starr-street-at-wilson

Too bad this wine bar at Wilson Avenue and Starr Street wasn’t open. Was the baby shit colored siding to blame or just the sour economy? I suspect we’ll never know.

Miss Heather

P.S.: This beauty can also be found on Troutman Street. What it lacks in siding it makes up for in sheer stupid.

hotelfug

Bushwick Pay Phone Du Jour: Troutman Street Recession Special

April 13, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

troutmanatirving

As I mentioned in this post I spent a fair amount of today pounding the pavement. By the time I reached Flushing Avenue I was tired. I thought about turning around and catching the L at Morgan Avenue but my little voice told me to keep going. So I did. When I reached the intersection of Troutman Street and Irving Avenue my phonedar went off. I looked around quite a bit and eventually found this: a brave new public pay phone for these tough economic times. We have all noticed that our dollars and cents simply don’t go as far as they used to.

recessionphone

Behold the Bushwick Monologue Machine! A mere twenty five cents will give you the gift of communication without having to listen to the other party. Say what you will but I consider this to be a bargain at twice the price. Unlike it’s Greenpoint counterpart this model (which I have named Monologue Machine 2.0) does not sport copious amounts of duct tape (or discarded fifths of vodka for that matter) but this is not to suggest it is any less special.

monologuemachinedetail

I was so enamored of the wires I simply had to take this close-up.

Which brings to me to this modest proposal for a very special Greenpoint-Bushwick joint initiative: would one of our Bushwick friends would be up to calling Greenpoint’s very own Monologue Machine 1.0 for a little chat? This would be purely for documentary purposes (in other words: shits and giggles). I can offer nothing in the way of compensation other than peace of mind, a few laughs, link love and perhaps this Polish phrasebook.

polishphrasebook

In which such useful phrases as:

potrzebuję czegoś dla przeżytku

can be found. That’s Polish for “I need something for a hangover”.

Anyone interested in helping with this experiment can contact me at missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com.

Thanks!

Miss Heather

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