Greenpoint
Cafe Cito Bogota
Atlantic Antic Photos Du Jour: Just Look, Don’t Touch
Taken October 4, 2009.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: A Very Special Employment Opportunity
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Area 51, Brooklyn, Manhattan, New York City, Park Slope
The Professor writes:
Hey Heather
I just ran across such a ridiculous Craigslist ad that I thought you might wanna see it. I don’t know that it’s anything you can use for your blog, or whatever, but it’s just such an extensively dumb solicitation that I thought you’d at least get a laugh.
Although, it could be a perfect setup for a big prank…*
Doc writes (in the aforementioned Craigslist advertisement):
Hi. Even for Craig’s List, this is going to be a strange ad. But read on – it’s strange but legit.
I’m a single, straight guy, in my early 40’s, recently moved to NYC, with almost no social circle here (and, even worse, I work on my own). No history of mental illnesss, jail time or listening to country music. Moving to NY has been fantastic, but the one thing is, I have been finding it hard to meet women. So I’m doing the normal, typical, rational thing that any guy in my position would do — I’m looking to hire a female “wingman,” that is, a “wingwoman,” to break the ice for me in social situations.
Strange but true.
This is a real job I’m offering; it’s not a personal ad in disguise, and I’m not a Nigerian scammer or a reality show producer, either. Perhaps more surprisingly, I’m also not a freak, weirdo or serial killer – I am just not good at walking up to a woman I don’t know and getting beyond “Hi” and I want to do something about it. (Basically, I want to avoid this guy’s fate.)
This would be a part-time, occasional gig. Get-togethers would be in Manhattan or Brooklyn; sometimes weekend afternoons, sometimes evenings. (Generally speaking, NOT in bars or nightclubs. I am more of a Brooklyn Flea / The Moth / Big Terrific / Midsummer Night Swing type of guy. This is also my kind of thing.) Probably 2-5 hours per stint. We would only meet in public places and I would pay you ($20/hour) cash.
And you don’t have to be single or even “unattached” to apply – there’s no “hanky panky” involved. (I really don’t care if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other, as long as that person knows about and is cool with the situation.)
If you want to know more details about the arrangement, check out these articles:
Are You With Him? Why Yes, Want to Date Him?
Wingwomen (8 pages long)…
WOW. I wonder if someone would pay me $20.00 an hour to be a cock blocker or chick repellent. I excel at both. I am a natural. “Doc” has also created a Facebook page which you can peruse by clicking here.
Miss Heather
P.S.: You can read “Doc’s” Craigslist ad in its entirety by clicking here or by clicking on the images below. Either way you’ll notice our man “Doc” is very detail-oriented!
P.S. #2: While I am on the subject of meetings and meat-markets, my good friends at Fucked In Park Slope will be hosting a “Meatup” this Wednesday, September 30th at The Bell House. For more information click here. B.Y.O.W. fellas.
*Or more annoying “viral” advertising.
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Putting The “Man” in Manhattan Avenue Park
Filed under: 11222, Advanced Life Forms, Area 51, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Jay Lombard (who sent me the delightful images gracing this post) writes:
Wish you were here! Older gentleman in speedo. Glad to see some one is using the park… Best I could do without getting too close. Got the moon and the sun at the same time today.
Take THAT Long Island City!
Miss Heather
FOR SALE IN GREENPOINT: Boa Constrictors
Filed under: 11222, Area 51, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
I fully aware that by being both a crazy cat lady and a vegetarian I am a hypocrite; every evening while I’m prepping my “not dogs” or “facon” I am feeding my little pride dead animals. Nonetheless I cannot fathom having a pet whose “food” consists of cute little furry things with whiskers. Truth be told it gives me the creeps.
I suppose the difference is the meat I serving my feline friends has already been rendered lifeless. To each their own I guess. All I’m saying is if I ever find something like this while patronizing Chez Shitty’s shitter (or any other shitter for that matter) I’ll go Rambo on its ass.
Like I said before: I’m a hypocrite.
Miss Heather
P.S.: While I am on the subject of eating and Meeker Avenue, Wardak Supermarket is slowly, but surely, marching towards completion.
When I walked by today I noticed that they have installed the checkout stations and were in the process of outfitting the produce section.
Happy Birthday, Mister Heather!
Filed under: Area 51
I suppose I could write something warm and fuzzy— but that isn’t my style. The Mister once said I was one of the least sentimental people he has ever met. I beg to differ. On that note, I’d like to pull up an oldie but goodie from a couple of years ago. I get all weepy-eyed reading it…
with laughter!
After tripping over the carton, my husband goes about feeding the cats like nothing happened. He asked why I was taking his picture. I tell him it is for an anthropological experiment. Note that the bag is now directly astride the carton. Still no beer, but it is looking encouraging.
Click on the above image to get the low-down on life with the Mister.
Enjoy!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: McGuinness Boulevard
Filed under: 11222, Area 51, Crazy People, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Art
For those of you who are not in the know, McGuinness Boulevard (by the Pulaski) is a veritable paradise of street art.
It seems to rotate, but these big-eyed birds keep showing up. I’m not complaining: I adore them.
What’s more they have a few friends…
and this formidable (but friendly looking) fella. Across the street you can find this.
A little Pulaski poetry…
and indecipherable German-esque gibberish.*
Scrawled in dirt (?).*
With hearts.*
And this.*
If anyone knows “Ted”, has expertise in Chicago zombies or can decipher the above missives please email me at:
missheather(at)thatgreenpointblog(dot)com
or leave your findings via comments. Thanks!
Miss Heather
UPDATE, 8:30 p.m.: Here are some ideas I received in my inbox!
Sean writes:
The German on the wall, I believe, basically says that love, to who ever wrote it, is that he cant be without a woman.
Jason writes:
I believe the last glyph that you posted was the Japanese character for Enter or Entry… That would explain the arrow as well…
Griff notes:
That last pic looks suspiciously like a logo for Aphex Twin?
UPDATE, August 22, 1:30 p.m.: Here’s a few more!
Robert writes:
I saw that graffiti the other day while walking my dog. I thought to myself that someone was copying the style of A.R. Penck. A German artist whose work in the early 70′s was a mix of made up symbols and language. I work at MoMA and we have a few examples on our website of his early 70′s work.
http://www.moma.org/collection/object.php?object_id=86742
wiki say
Despite the anti-art aesthetic the rough and ready quality of their construction, they have the same symbolic, archetypal anthropomorphic forms as his flat symbolic paintings. The paintings are influenced by Paul Klee’s work and mix the flatness of Egyptian or Mayan writing with the crudity of the late black paintings by Jackson Pollock.But who knows?
Not writes:
http://www.newyorkshitty.com/?p=24135
that’s the lowercase greek glyph, lambda..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lambda
context: it’s a usage popularized by the video game, half life..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half-Life_(video_game)
Erik writes:
The “lambda” looking symbol with an arrow that you photographed is actually taken from the video game Half Life 2. It is the symbol for the rebel/resistance organization fighting a conquering extraterrestrial species. The lambda symbol appears throughout the game painted on walls, with arrow directing the player to a safe room stocked with weapons, health, etc.
See http://www.visualwalkthroughs.com/halflife2/routekanal1/31.jpg for an example.
*I had to do some Photoshopping to make these images easier to read.
Manhattan Photos Du Jour: After Dark
Filed under: Area 51
A few highlights from my ladies night out in the West Village with my best bud Rachael.
Miss Heather
Fun With Bloomblight
Filed under: 11222, Area 51, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Recession, Street Art
Earlier today my good friend Crappy forwarded me this story from NY1 about how over-development has left many buildings in Brooklyn vacant and/or half-finished. As if this was not depressing enough this tome goes on to say that despite this glut of over-priced King’s crap, the building continues. It is projected 5,200 more luxury apartments will find their way onto the market in 2010. Clearly the cardinal rule of how to get out of a hole (stop digging) has been lost on these people.
But developer-induced blight need not be such a downer. Just take what someone anonymous person(s) has done at the vacant lot at 689 Leonard Street, for example.
Yes sir, with a little imagination (construction detritus and some wildflower seeds) you can put the “bloom” back in “bloomblight”!
And why not throw in a little ornamental brick stacking while you’re at it? It’s not like they’re going anywhere anytime soon.
I do not know what this yellow flower (located at far left) is, but I really like it.
Behold, Greenpoint’s newest high rise! I wonder if it’s a Karl Fischer?
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Sorry I Missed Your Party
Filed under: Area 51
Chances are if you are reading this you are staying home tonight. Hey, I don’t blame you. The last time I want to go out to have a little fun is when everyone else is out doing the same: too much noise, ruckus and fuss. What’s more, if you party a little too hard it’s highly probable your misdeeds will be documented and wind up on the Interwebs. Like this guy.
Thankfully we have Sorry I Missed Your Party (where the above gem hails from) to remind us why basking in the azure haze of a computer monitor while drinking alone is a much better way to spend a Friday night! In all seriousness, do give this site a look-see. It is absolutely hilarious— and addictive!
Miss Heather
Thought Of The Day
Filed under: Area 51
If you are going to shamelessly rip off someone’s web site it might be a prudent idea not to add the proprietor of said site to your mailing list.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Seriously, I have had someone email me under the presumption that I am somehow affiliated with this. NOT. COOL.
NYS Flickr Pool
