Greenpoint
Cafe Cito Bogota
The 460 Clinton Avenue Panopticon
This week our good friend Richard came to town. I wanted to go to East Williamsburg; the Mister wanted to go to the Navy Yard. We did both— which presented a problem. Outside the confines of 11211, 11222, 11206, and 11237 I get fuzzy. What’s more the Mister and I engender the same belief about maps: they’re for assholes. Which brings me to this.
As Bugs Bunny would say:
I took a wrong turn at Albuqueque.
While the Mister was deciphering our misdirection I spied the following bit of dog shit signage.
The Block SEES YOU
MORNING & NIGHT
This is not a poopy park. Please taKe your dogs poop home and & flush! Don’t think the Block Watchers Don’t SEE you. You have lined the front of this house with poop. You continue to fill my garbage can with your dog poop. You have NOW forced ME to install A CAMERA. Please, Please take poop home & flush. Thank you. 460 Clinton Avenue.
The verbose nature of this sign, generous use of duct tape and random capital letters leads me to believe this person is serious. Or seriously pissed off.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Redemption
Sunday is (ostensibly) a day of rest and spiritual contemplation in most of north Brooklyn. Hence why I’m going to end this day’s posts with the following.
Abandon all hope ye who use this pay phone (on Graham Avenue).
But redemption can be found down the street.
Sort of.
Per Captain Zorikh this is the place to get it. For the record 182 Graham Avenue is a SRO. Single. Room. Occupancy. Where, long ago, I had one of the most interesting— and curiously enough— least degrading (but odd) interviews for a sublet I have ever had. You can leave it to Dutch dominatrix to separate the wheat from the chaff. Or give me street cred for looking at a lavender wall replete with paddles, whips, chains and not being perturbed. In my (admittedly limited) experience the above-board sexual perverts (and I mean this in the kindest way) are benign. It’s the co-called normal ones, e.g.; bohunks wearing New York Yankees ball caps incorrectly (READ: backwards) who are dangerous.* But I digress.
A few years later I went to a party in same said building and told Mister Heather:
Had I not landed the apartment we have now, this is where I would have lived. You can still see the indentations where the restraints were anchored to the wall.
I failed miserably in the cooler-than-thou world that is the East Williamsburg apartment share scene. Which is curious because I excel at failure— something many East Williamsburg artists court— albeit ironically. I suppose I didn’t look stylish enough in my desperation. Or was *gasp* TOO OLD. So in Greenpoint remained. THANK GOD.
The Love Chapel: R.I.P. and available to rent!
But Jesus still saves.
And Satan is around the corner!
You want redemption? The best place I found today was on Navy Street in DUMBO. Good luck.
Miss Heather
*Those of you who seek them can find them in the East Village.
Urban Artifact Du Jour: Sarah, Get Your Gun!
Today your truly has sojourned through no less than Greenpoint, East Williamsburg, Clinton Hill and around the Navy Yard. We have company in town and decided to take our friend on the grand tour, if you will. It was towards the end of our excursion that I found the following gem on Clinton Avenue just underneath the Brooklyn Queens Expressway.
I’m not too sure what kind of game Ms. Palin was hunting in the wilderness of Clinton Hill but it looks like whatever it was got the better of her.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Although I already have far too much weird crap laying around this apartment already I brought this item home. Unless I hear from our favorite former Vice Presidential candidate I plan to make an art object out of it. Be advised that buttplug will probably be involved.
New York Shitty Day Ender: Zoo York
5th Avenue
Washington Avenue
St. Mark’s Avenue
Bedford Avenue
Metropolitan Avenue
North 1 Street
Nassau Avenue
Manhattan Avenue
Miss Heather
Brooklyn Photo du Jour: No Standing St. Nick!
From Franklin Avenue.
Miss Heather
Dangerous Buildings, Places And Things, Oh My!
Filed under: Williamsburg
My buddy over at Bad Advice has been experiencing a very bad problem lately. The fly in Dategirl’s proverbial ointment is the rather fast and loose demolition being conducted next door to her property. The author of the aforementioned affliction is MMG Construction. Ms. Grasso and her funky bunch sure seem to get around.
In the wee hours of Thursday, November, 15, 2007 Dategirl wrote:
I’m really freaked out about what’s going on next door. They’ve knocked out my phone (the lines are laying on the ground across N. 11th!), the cable TV/internet and the building is rocking like, uh, a building is NOT supposed to when they’re working. Thank christ Con Ed and the water supply is underground. I’ve spoken to Marie Grasso (of MMG Construction— Ed. Note) several times. As you might imagine, she’s not been terribly helpful, though she did demand that the backhoe operator repair my cable tv with a roll of electrical tape. (Shockingly, that didn’t work.) I am losing my fucking mind over here
Later the same day The Gowanus Lounge wrote a post about her woes. I, on the other hand, contacted our State Assemblyman, Joseph Lentol via his web page. MMG was tendered a Stop Work Order that same afternoon.
And shortly thereafter someone saw fit to rip it down. Please click on the previous link: if for no other reason so you can behold the following turd of a comment for firsthand:
Anonymous said…
I really enjoy reading your site, as well as the other sites that like to whine and complain about development. Where do you get your information? It is pure fiction!
1. The contractor was never violated (!!!— Ed. Note) for an illegal mechanical demolition. You made that up.
2. The SWO sticker was taken down because the SWO was partially lifted.
You should get your facts straight before bashing people.
Actually “Anonymous” (if that is your real name), the contractors (and the developers who hired them) do most of the violatin’ hereabouts. The area in question, which I recently heard referred to (albeit mockingly, but I am certain you will pick it up as a new piece of sexy real estate jargon) as “McCarren Heights”, is being thoroughly sacked by space pirates. But unlike most corsairs (historically speaking) these privateers for the privileged (because there are simply not enough luxury condos to house them, poor dears) are operating with tacit written approval from a government. Our government, which brings me to this.
I received this in the mail today. WAY TO GO JOE!
Those of you who might be interested to know what Mr. Lentol’s district looks like prepare to be enlightened, because here it is.
The more astute observers among you might notice that the area highlighted in pink is experiencing a number of*, uh, growing pains*. If you live in the above pinkified area and gentrification is literally knocking at/beating down your front door, I would advise you to contact Mr. Lentol via snail mail at:
District Office
619 Lorimer Street
Brooklyn, NY 11211
718-383-7474
Or send him an email (like I did) at:
lentolj (at) assembly.state.ny.us
In terms of constituent services, Lentol is the best. What’s more he really seems to care. Write him.
Miss Heather
*It’s amazing how much outrage MMG Construction elicits from the media when her idiots bust up something a rich neighborhood. Can someone please explain to me why this woman is still in business? Who is she paying off and for how much? My curiosity is killing me.
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