Fed Up On Roebling

June 5, 2008 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage, Williamsburg 

Today I received the above (and quite wonderful) submission from a reader called madboyelroy. He writes:

…roebling between grand and metropolitan is a war zone of crap. they even bag it and drop it on the sidewalk. these guys clearly are FED up and done with this shit… literally…

My advice to any and all of you who happen to live in this area and have a canine companion: do the right thing and dispose of your doggie dumplings properly. If common courtesy is not a sufficient motivator, consider your own self-preservation. It is very clear these guys (or gals) mean business.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Meserole Avenue

April 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic 

Ah Greenpoint, how I love thee!

Miss Heather

Great Moments In Real Estate Rhetoric: “The Village”

April 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic 

Any resident of this area can tell you how laughably bad this advertisement is:

  1. Luxury lofts + village (sans idiot) + north Brooklyn = laughable
  2. These “luxury lofts” are located nowhere near the heart of anything. They are located south of the BQE in that disorienting no man’s land that downzoning forgot.
  3. In other words, this building is located in Greenpoint

But who cares about semantics! Let’s take a closer look at this “village” shall we?

Here’s a view of Richardson Street looking westward. Those quaint 8+ story tall buildings are condominiums.

Here’s a shot of Monitor Street. This street was named after the U.S.S. Monitor which was launched in Greenpoint. Lest any of you are wondering why the above row of edifices is punctuated, a two story house (AKA: “The Monitor Street Sandwich”) is to blame. I wonder how this petite chateau is faring? Let’s go in for a closer look!

Welcome to the village Greenpoint, FUCKS.

Miss Heather

FUCKING PHOTO CREDITS: Signage by Lisacat

A Sign in the Stuy

January 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic 

Today I am honored to share my very first piece of dog shit signage from none other than Bedford-Stuyvesant! My tipster writes:

I saw this stenciled plea at the corner of Willoughby and Walworth and thought of you.

Pick up their shit

Unfortunately, as the second pic reveals, the call has gone unheeded (see near green patch, lower left).

Their Shit

Ah well, there’s plenty else to love about Bed Stuy.
Heh.

Regards,
Erin

This looks a lot like a series of missives I found inscribed around a tree pit on Franklin Street a couple months ago.

Don’t pollute our tree

I can attest that (to date) these admonitions appear to be working. Maybe it is the color?

Miss Heather

Bushwick Photo du Jour: Willoughby Avenue

January 10, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Dog Shit Signage 

No Dumping

You can always leave it to good ol’ Bushwick to get right to the point.

Miss Heather

Williamsburg Is Dead

January 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Dog Shit Signage, Williamsburg 

Rambo says Williamsburg sucks

It has recently come to my attention that there is a blog with this very title. I have not taken the time to check it out extensively, but this snappy passage certainly piqued my interest:

Depending on how long you’ve lived here, the number of times you’ve had the following experience might vary: Walking along a familiar street, a block you walk a few times a week even, something jars you. The distribution of storefronts, pedestrians, and apartment stoops is just off. Maybe you stop, investigate. And then, there it is. Some new restaurant or store or bar where literally, you swear to yourself, there was nothing there three fucking days ago. Maybe you curse aloud, quietly, (really just barely a whisper, under my breath) if you’re like me, or maybe you symbolize your internal discontent with an exaggerated head shaking. Or you just frown briefly. And why? What did this plasma-screen laden sports bar ever do to you? Or that desperately-wanting-to-be trendy “club” that should make its way back to Soho where it belongs? Or that second dessert shop to open in a month? Which offenses, exactly, are they guilty of? I’ll tell you.

And he (or she) does.

Whatever “artistic marrow” the ‘Burg once had has long since been sucked dry or forced to move further afield. I mention this because yesterday I discovered one of the most inspired bits of chicanery I have seen in a LONG TIME on Montrose just east of Bushwick Avenue.

Montrose Avenue Sign

I initially thought by “pigs” the maker of this sign meant the police.

No pigs allowed

Upon closer inspection I realized he/she was referencing whole different breed of pig: people who leave their doggie dumplings on the sidewalk. And judging from what I saw during my jaunt in “East Williamsburg” I’d hazard to guess there are a great number of people who engage in this practice. Those of you who have a strong stomach (and nothing better to do) should check out Humboldt Street between Montrose Avenue and Meserole Street. It’s a fucking minefield.

Miss Heather

Curb Your Dog!

December 27, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage 

It has been a while since I have featured some dog shit signage here at New York Shitty. I simply haven’t found anything that has struck me. This weekend that changed.

Curb Your Dog!

My husband and I saw the above “sign” while walking home last weekend. Though lacking in witty repartee, its sheer size is worth noting. I guess I should expect as much on a street named Clifford Place.

Miss Heather

Dignified Dog Shit Signage

November 26, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage 

There are assholes, and then there are ASSHOLES. What’s the difference, you ask?

Cobble Hill Caca Sign

Only the latter would leave their dog’s shit in front of a fucking funeral parlor. Checking out the open casket remains of some doggie’s dinner just before attending your loved one’s funeral strikes me as being one of the most undignified things I can think of— save perhaps letting your dog take a crap IN the coffin. If the above sign and Cobble Hill’s illustrious neighbor’s Yahoo group are any indication, anything goes in this lawless section of Brooklyn.

I have lived in Greenpoint, a neighborhood with quite a dog shit problem, for some time. During that time I have never, EVER seen a “curb your dog sign” posted in the window of any of our local funeral parlors. What the fuck is wrong with you, Cobble Hill? Is everybody calls the Bergen Street stop (of the F or G) home on crack?

Miss Heather

Someone on Provost Street Needs to Walk The Dogs

October 19, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic 

Provost Street Scrawling

…according to one very angry person sporting a Sharpie marker he does, anyway. I wonder if the person who wrote this is the same serial vandal who used to scrawl Kill this fucken tyrant Bush now! on the subway posters at the Nassau Avenue stop of the G? I can only hope so. God I miss that guy…

Miss Heather

Or…

September 26, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage 

I have said on numerous occasions my favorite dog shit signs are the ones that involve threats of physical violence. I haven’t seen any around here lately and frankly I was beginning to worry that the Garden Spot might be losing its special charm. Good thing I walked down Meserole Avenue yesterday.

Or…

I feel a lot better now. Or do I? That pitchfork-looking thing is sort of sinister. Those of you who have the time, I strongly recommend you walk by 170 Diamond Street and check out the assortment of signs this person has erected. Most of them have this symbol on them. Pretty weird. Maybe this he (or she) is gearing up for Halloween?

Miss Heather

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